Harry, through a series of unprecedented events, is partially turned into a cat, and kidnapped to the Slytherin dorms. What's Draco to do with a perplexed Harry the cat?
A/N: In my HP universe, that stupid epilogue never existed. Somehow, my memory refuses to remember anything that happened after the fifth volume… so if anything isn't in harmony with the books, or if people are inexplicably resurrected…just go with it…
Story occurs shortly after the war ends. They're back in school and everything resumes as per usual. Basically just cut out books six and seven and insert big troublesome war. Wait, what happened in five…? You know what cut out book five too if it'll make things more concordant.
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it were, the HP series would have had a decent ending. Not some slap dash would-you-like-chips-with-that epilogue. God damn it makes me angry.
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What's New, Pussycat?
***
-1. She thought it would be funny…
***
Draco frowned darkly as he stalked down the corridor towards the Slytherin dorms. The week had been annoyingly uneventful, as usual. The only mildly stimulating thing that had happened all day was when that idiot Longbottom burned a hole through the floor during Potions.
They'd been making a truth serum.
Draco rolled his eyes at the memory. He'd laughed at the time, but in all honesty he'd felt embarrassed for the fool. How an untalented ignoramus like that got into Hogwarts in the first place, Draco will never know. But then again, the school was full of idiots.
The world is full of idiots.
The blonde scowled deeply at the floor as his strides broadened the closer he got to the dorm.
He'd become more bitter through the years, as the world revealed its true self to his once eagerly observing eyes. Everything that had been happening recently with the war nursed his growing suspicions that it was all pointless.
Meaningless, bitter, painful experiences were all this life was good for.
Draco hissed the password with more venom than was requisite.
"Draco! Oh thank Merlin you're here!" came a shriek as Pansy rushed over as soon as Draco entered the common room. He visibly winced at the shrillness of the girl's voice.
"What now," Draco said irritably, his dark expression serving to quell the girl's overreaction.
"I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I mean, it's dead funny, but we could get into serious trouble for this… but if you can fix it then we don't have to worry… unless he remembers and tells on us…but it's so embarrassing I doubt he'd—"
"Just tell me what happened," Draco interrupted, crossing his arms and scowling at the girl. He just wanted to go to his room and sleep it all off. The year. The war. Everything.
"It's Potter," said Pansy hesitantly. Draco's silver eyes narrowed. What did that good for nothing hero-boy stick his nose into this time?
"What did he do?" Draco asked warily.
Pansy squirmed uncomfortably, finally sensing that Draco was in a fouler mood than usual.
"He… well…he didn't do anything really, it's just that I…," she started hesitantly, then hastily continuing at the dangerous look in the Malfoy's eyes, "I thought it would be funny to play a prank on that know-it-all Granger. You remember how she half turned herself into a cat a few of years ago? God it was hideous. Anyways, I wanted to make her look like that again to mess with her, but I ended up with the wrong person, and the potion I used messed up and instead of looking like a cat, he's behaving like one, and I don't know how to fix it," Pansy ranted hastily.
"You turned Potter into a cat…," Draco repeated incredulously.
Pansy blinked blankly at the shortened version of her story.
"Um, pretty much, yeah…," she said, having the decency to look embarrassed.
"For the love of—where is he now?" Draco asked, exasperated at his fellow Slytherin's incompetence.
"I-in your room," Pansy squeaked, taking a tiny step back.
"In my—what the hell is he doing in my room?" Draco demanded, his voice dangerously silky as Pansy started nervously squirming again.
"I didn't know where else to hide him. If any of the professors find out, I'll be expelled for sure, and you're the only one who might know how to make him normal again," Pansy explained weakly. Draco released a tortured sigh and swiftly brushed past the girl and headed towards his chamber.
"Next time you get a half-formed idea in that thick skull of yours, be sure to leave me out of it when you fail," Draco said irritably before he entered his room and shut the door, thankful that the Slytherin prefects got single rooms to themselves.
He turned around and scanned his eyes over the fairly neat room, looking for a sign of Potter, his wand out, ready for anything.
Except this.
Draco's eyes widened as his eyes landed on the pile of blankets on his bed, and the naked boy curled up and asleep upon it.
***
"Pansy," Draco said quietly as he stepped out of his room, his face betraying nothing as he slowly made his way towards the girl who looked as though she were about to leave the dorm room to make her quick escape. She turned around with a squeak.
"Y-yeah?" she asked, managing to sound both petrified and indignant at the same time, still angry at the last thing Draco had said to her.
"Why, if I may be so impetuous as to ask, is Potter naked?" Draco asked, sounding so calm that small animals would have gathered around had they not known any better. Pansy, for one, knew better.
She gulped lightly.
"He…I think he sleeps in the nude. He was probably naked when he drank the potion I left on his bedside table, I found him like that when I went to check if it worked.
"I thought you were aiming for Granger?"
"I got the boys and girls rooms mixed up…," Pansy said, knowing how stupid she sounded.
She had gotten lost earlier that day while looking for the room of requirements to find a way to drug Granger, and spotted Longbottem heading down the corridor alone. Out of curiosity, she had followed, and he went straight into the room, leaving Pansy with password and all. The fat lady had been drunk on holiday spirits, literally, and mumbled something about 'looking unfamiliar' before she swung over at the password with a great hiccup.
The truth was, she'd been so pleased with herself for successfully sneaking into the Gryffindor common room and putting a sleeping spell on Longbottom, that she'd gone into the first room she found, spotted a picture of Weasly and Potter on a bedside table beside a glass of pumpkin juice, counted her lucky stars and assumed that it was Granger's bed. Thank Merlin it was holiday season or she would have been caught for sure
"So you just dragged him all the way here nude?" Draco asked, not even wanting to hear the answer if it would confirm how stupid the girl standing before him really was.
"I…well I covered him in a blanket…," Pansy said weakly.
"Did anyone see you?" Draco asked wearily, leaning against a wall with another tortured sigh.
"I don't think so," said Pansy.
"You don't think so?" Draco asked patronizingly.
"No, we weren't seen," said Pansy firmly, her Slytherin pride finally kicking in, "I'm not a complete idiot, Draco, I used the secret Slytherin corridors," she mumbled, annoyed at Draco's arrogance. It was a simple mistake that got out of hand – he didn't have to be so irritable about it. It's not like he never attempted something stupid before.
"Don't give me that look, Parkinson. I'm under no obligation to help you," Draco said curtly. Pansy immediately looked away, realizing that the blonde was right. Despite his snarky comments and exasperated looks, he was helping her of his own accord.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
"What did you put in the potion?" Draco continued, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against the cold stone wall, suddenly looking much too tired for someone barely eighteen.
"Two drops of truth serum, polyjuice potion with a cat hair, and a drop of aphrodisiac…," Pansy trailed off, withering under the furious gaze that Draco directed upon her.
"Why?" he asked shortly, not sparing a drop of distaste on that single word.
"I thought it would be funny," Pansy said, feeling very small indeed.
"You thought it would be funny," Draco repeated darkly, muttering under his breath as he stormed away towards his room, "I think it's hilarious," he snarled, disappearing into the dimly lit chamber and shutting the door behind him with a click.
Draco spun around and scrutinized the pile of blankets on his bed, trying to ignore, to the best of his abilities, the gloriously naked body curled up on top of it.
He felt his mouth go dry when the body twitched, then luxuriously unwound itself before stretching unhurriedly, every single muscle definition strained and stretched before the Malfoy's wide eyes. Then the body relaxed, sat up, and a pair of glowing green eyes opened and fell upon Draco with a mildly curious, impervious gaze.
"Hello Potter," Draco managed to rasp, the scowl completely wiped from his brow at this recent…interesting development…
***