Chapter 1: Is This All Some Sort Of Fucking Messed Up Dream That Jews (Especially Kyle) Are To Blame?:
It was a warm sunny day, everyone was happy and NOT disturbing his awesome vibe. At least that's what Cartman though. He was cruising around town since Mrs. Cartman put his possessive 'Clyde Frog' in the washer machine to be washed and he was actually getting sick of proving that Butters is gay because he is now in an intimidate relationship with Kenny. He continued on the road to jay walk, eventually that road let to South Park Elementary. Here he saw Wendy sitting down on a bench, crying her eyes out. Oh goddamnit! Her fucking sound for her crying was so distressful that it made even Cartman- a kid who loathes the Jews (especially Kyle) and has no heart or sympathy for others what so ever feel, concerned. But Cartman could NOT show that side to Wendy. No way, Jose. To a stupid ho like her? Psh...in her dreams! Cartman gazed at Wendy and eventually decided to sit down next to her. "What's wrong, ho bag? Shit! Your goddamn crying could be heard from a million miles away! " Wendy looked at Cartman, got up, walked away and crossed her arms. "That's none of your concern, fat ass..." Cartman caught up to her and put his hand on her shoulder, "No really, ho. What the hell's your problem?" Wendy looked back at Cartman and uttered a piercing cry of, "THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Cartman rolled his eyes and decided to walk away from the school. "Coming here was actually a waste of time, so...have a 'nice' live, Wendy..." Wendy's eyes widen as Cartman refereed to her by her actual name, I mean Cartman never called her that without calling her repulsive names like 'bitch' or 'ho'. And Cartman WAS the only one that was feeling concerned for her right now. I mean, you would think that Wendy at least knows the fact that she is a hypocritical bitch, but that doesn't matter. Her other girlfriends were being distant of her, and the last her heard about her bestie Bebe, she just had sex with Clyde...and at the age of EIGHT! Coming back to Stan was a waste of time, Stan could care less about her now. And KYLE. Well, Wendy thinks that she hates Kyle just as much as Cartman now! KYLE was the reason why Stan broke up with her in the first place. So screw them both! Cartman walked back to Wendy and gave her a bear hug to her dismay. "Look Wendy, you're just going through a hard time." Could even such serious and sympathetic words come from that fat-ass' mouth? That is what Wendy wondered and pondered. She hugged back as well, still listening to his words of wisdom. "But...you have to accept the fact that Kyle and Stan are gay. I always knew that were fucking faggots. If you want that pussy Stan to be happy, just let him be with that fucking Jew Kyle. I mean...pussy, Jew? PERFECT match, beeyatch!" Wendy just wanted to push Cartman off for saying those things about HER Stan. But Stan wasn't hers anymore...and maybe, just MAYBE, Cartman was on to something. She lets go of Cartman. "Hey, Eric...do you want to go somewhere? I know this GREAT French restaurant that my father's associate and colleague owns. We can get in there for FREE." Cartman smirked, like never before. He was used to being called a fat-ass by Wendy. "Anything to make you shut up, ho." He winked. The two of them went home to prepare for their date.
(Alright...I'm sorry if I got OOC in this. Because when I RP and -TRY- to write fanfictions, I happen to get OOC. I love how in Candy, it's evil love and Tsundereness~ The bitch x the fat ass= FOREVER. And I feel a bit depressed for saying the way 'faggot' in here. I'm bisexual and I find that to be very...degrading. But I WAS trying to act like Cartman there. Still...I know it's a contradiction. Comments are ADORED.)