A Good Dousing
"Jane, what in the name of heaven were you thinking?" a very angry and very wet Teresa Lisbon demanded of her consultant as she emerged from the small pond she had been shoved into moments before.
"It was a good idea," Jane defended.
"Right, that's why we have now lost our suspect and I'm soaking wet," she retorted sarcastically, wringing her hair out.
"Hey, it was a good idea," he repeated. "I thought you could take him."
Lisbon halted mid-wring and gawked at him in disbelief.
"You knew he would run?"
Jane shrugged guiltily.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she practically shouted. "Maybe if you'd given me a heads up we could've got him, but I can't take down a six foot, two hundred pound man without substantial warning!"
"Alright," Jane raised his hands in a don't-shoot-me gesture. "I'm sorry. Next time I'll let you know beforehand."
"Yeah, that really does me a lot of good right now," she ground out, her teeth beginning to chatter from the effects of wet clothing mixed with cool weather.
"I am sorry Lisbon," he apologized again. "Now, let's get you some dry clothes before you catch cold."
"Too late. Besides where would we get dry clothes? There aren't any houses around here for miles. We're in the middle of nowhere." She sniffled miserably then muttered, "Just my luck."
"Oh would you stop sulking woman."
Lisbon glared at him, but he ignored her.
"I have some extra clothes in my car."
"You do?" she queried with surprise. "Why?"
Jane rolled his eyes.
"For situations just like this," he replied patronizingly. "Come on."
"Fine, but they're never going to fit."
"I should hope not Lisbon." His tone was amused.
"You know what I mean," she huffed. "I don't have a belt, and a pair of your pants won't stay up on me."
"You can use mine," he answered simply.
"Not enough holes, and how will you keep your pants up if I'm using your belt?"
"I don't have to wear one Lisbon. It's just more comfortable. Now you on the other hand," he smirked while giving her slight waist a pointed stare. "You'll definitely need it or my pants most certainly will fall down."
Lisbon looked at him with laughter glinting in her eyes. "Your pants?"
The consultant colored a little.
"You know what I mean."
She laughed lightly. Of course she knew what he meant, but it was fun to watch the cool and collected Patrick Jane fluster at his slip of the tongue.
Reaching the car, Jane popped the trunk, took out a duffel bag and handed it to Lisbon.
"You should find everything you need in here. Not sure if you'll want to use the underwear, but it'd probably be more comfortable than going commando."
He grinned brazenly.
This time it was Lisbon who flushed slightly, which was exactly what Jane had intended. An eye for an eye as they say.
Masking her faint blush with a murderous glare Lisbon said hotly, "Turn around so I can change."
He did as was requested.
"When you're done taking off your clothes you can throw them to me. I'll wring them out for you."
"That won't be necessary."
"Come on Lisbon, don't be such a prude. I've handled women's laundry before."
Apparently he'd persuaded her because when she finished undressing she threw her soaked clothing in his direction. Except for her panties and bra, she so was not going to let him mess with her underclothing.
While she dressed Jane busied himself with wringing out her drenched clothes, grinning softly to himself that she hadn't added her intimates to the pile.
Honestly, was she forgetting he'd been married before? There was nothing he didn't already know about women's underwear.
His musings were interrupted by Lisbon clearing her throat loudly behind him.
"I could really use that belt right about now."
Jane turned around and found himself having to bite back a laugh.
He'd never seen Lisbon look so small standing there drowning in his shirt and pants with a displeased scowl on her face. She was utterly adorable.
Lisbon rolled her eyes at the expression of suppressed amusement on his face.
"Yes, I know, it's hilarious. Could I please have the belt?"
He did as he was told and handed the article of clothing to his partner.
"You do look funny Lisbon, but also unbelievably cute," he said, sincerity apparent in his tone.
"Yeah, yeah, sure," she replied, unbelieving.
"It's true," Jane insisted.
"Fine, it's true," she snapped irritably. "Now could you please help me with this thing?" She made a frustrated gesture to the belt she was, unsuccessfully, trying to make fit her. "I told you it wouldn't work. There aren't enough holes."
Jane shook his head affectionately at his grumpy boss, transferred her damp clothes to the now empty (what do you know, she had used the underwear) duffel, and moved forward to assist in her dilemma.
He pushed her fumbling hands away, tucked the excess fabric of the much-too-large button down into the waistband of the pants, took the two ends of the belt, cinched it to fit her tiny waist, and then fashioned it into a weird sort of wrap around deal. After he was finished he took a step back and watched as Lisbon surveyed his handiwork.
"There, what do you think?"
She glanced up at him with a look of surprise and appreciation.
"It's pretty good," she said, nodding slowly. "I have no idea how you did that."
"Well, if you're ever in the need of help with over sized belts again I'll be only too happy to oblige."
"Sure," she answered him somewhat dazedly, the unexpected intensity of Jane's gaze making her feel a little weak at the knees.
After a few moments Jane switched his focus from Lisbon to the horizon where the sun was sinking low, and broke the starting-to-become-awkward silence.
"It's late, we should get going."
"Yeah, we should," Lisbon agreed.
"We have a suspect to catch."
"Yes we do," she agreed again. "Thanks to you."
The last statement was laced with irritation, but Jane took no notice of it.
"I imagine you'll want to stop by your place first for a change of clothes, right?"
"As if I'd walk into the CBI in this getup, I'd never hear the end of it."
"Hm, probably not."
A few minutes after they'd started back Lisbon spoke up, "I'm cold. You should have better heating in this thing."
"I apologize that my 'thing' doesn't have the same modern appliances of your SUV, but I still think she's a good little car." Jane defended his Citron. "And if you're cold instead of grousing about it come over here and snuggle up," he offered, figuring they might as well make use of the bench seat.
She looked at him, her slightly scandalized expression showing that she was suspicious of and tempted by his invitation.
"Come here Lisbon," he offered again. "I give you my word, I never bite without permission."
Jane knew he'd won when Lisbon smiled at him. It was confirmed when she slid across the bench to his side and leaned against him lightly.
"Well, as long as I have your word," she murmured.
After a while Jane felt something fall gently on his shoulder and the pressure to his side increase. He looked down briefly and smiled when he saw that Lisbon was cuddled snugly against him, sound asleep.