Disclaimer: I don't own Puella Magi\Maho Shoujo Madoka Magica or any of the cannon characters.
Author's Note: Kind of came to me when Kyubey spoke of 'most anything' being possible from a wish. So I thought... maybe.
All I Ever Wanted
Prologue: "New Girl On the Block"
It had been another one of those days at school. Same old crap with nothing but nothin' changing about it. Another D on a test and another long walk home ahead of me. Dammit, why is it no matter how much I study for a test, I always fail? It was like fate was playing some cruel joke on me my whole life, and didn't know when to call it quits. I walked home slowly, watching the legs of my white slacks get played with by the wind, the breeze blissfully unawares of my present mood. My father would probably do his silent disappointment routine again after I show him the test, which would start my mother crying, and inevitably ending the night with her usual 'why can't you be like your sister' comment.
"Masaru!" Came a familiar voice behind me, the sounds of foot steps charging towards me broke my train of thought, my feet turning to face the visage of my sister sprinting full-tilt towards me. "Masaru, how'd you do on your test today? Did you do better?" She took one look at my face and her smile vanished, melting into a frown. "Oh... that bad huh?" I gave a nod. "I'm sorry, brother, but I tried to help you..."
"I don't think it's you, Kazuko..." I droned, continuing the walk with my sister, Kazuko in tow. "I think I was just born to be helpless..."
"Don't be like that, Masaru! You're a good brother!"
"But a horrible student." I answered back, putting a hand on my forehead, covering an eye with my palm and dislodging my glasses. "Dad's not gonna be happy... neither is mom..." Kazuko went silent at this, knowing full well what tonight was going to be full of. Disappointment lacing every single word from both of my parents, and me probably crying myself to sleep again. Great...
From my right, a group of Kazuko's friends called to her, ushering her to join them. She gave me a stare, like it was her job to guard me at all costs, but then looked back at them. "Go if you want to. You shouldn't have to hear the yelling anyway." I told her, giving her shoulder a little nudge. She gave a grim nod and walked slowly towards her two friends, calling their names as she waved. I'll just go about my business and see how late I can stay out without mom and dad calling the search party out for me.
"Now this is intriguing..." Came a droll, monotonous male voice from somewhere before me. "A male human with more misery and grief then I've seen in a while..." I scanned the area, looking for the source of the voice. It was almost like it was talking to me. "I don't know if it's possible but hey... if you're willing to try, I am."
"Are you talking to me? Where are you?" I droned, looking about.
"Down here." The voice answered, my gaze turning down to a small, white cat-like thing with unblinking red eyes and the creepiest smile you've ever seen. It had long ears extending out the ears on it's head, the whole package sitting before me, a fluffy tail swaying gently back and forth.
"Oh... hello Mr. Cat. I didn't see you there." I told it, smiling. I must really be going nuts... I thought this cat was talking to me.
"Don't look at the ground like that, boy. People will think you're crazy." The voice continued. "They can't see me. Only you can." I blinked a few times. "You look confused."
"You could say that..." I answered back. "What did you mean by 'misery and grief'?" The cat took a few steps forward and leapt to my back, then climbed it's way to my shoulder.
"We should talk like this. Make people think you're less crazy. Keep walking, I'll explain." I started walking slowly home, the cat beginning a monologue. "What if I told you, I could give you one wish, one anything, and make it come true? You could be powerful, rich, intelligent... anything. What would you say?" I smirked at the empty promise.
"I'd say you're crazy."
"Hypothetically, then. If, hypothetically, I could grant you one wish, what would you say?"
"I'd ask what the catch was. You can't give something without expecting something in return."
"If that would be your hypothetical first-thought, my hypothetical response to that would be, all you'd have to do is fight a few creatures... Demons, we'll call them, and put them out of their misery." I thought for a moment, taking in what this cat thing was saying.
"That's a pretty detailed hypothetical response, Mr. Cat." I answered again.
"Call me Kyubey." He responded ticking his head a little.
"That's a pretty detailed hypothetical response, Mr. Kyubey." I repeated now that I learned something to call him. He gave an sound of affirmative and sighed.
"Happily, it's more then a hypothetical situation. I have this power, Kichida Masaru." He continued, droning on in his droll voice more. "I can make wishes come true at this price. I'll admit... I've not tried it on a male yet... as your gender is... rather useless."
"Hey!" I growled to him.
"Don't misunderstand me. From a mundane standpoint, your gender is highly useful. But my eyes see not the mundane. Misery is something seldom found in men, their frustration usually turning to anger and rage, rather then grief. You, however, I sense a lot of grief around... you're failing grades, your inability to display anything more then painful normality... It frustrates you, and often moves you to tears." As he spoke, my eyes widened. This... thing, this Kyubey, knew more about me then even my sister did.
"What are you?" I growled to him.
"A genie, you could say. For the right price, I can grant you one wish." He paused for a moment. "This deal will not be without trials, though. As I stated, I've never tried granting a male a wish and, to be honest, I wouldn't even know what to call the outcome. Puella Magi? Maybe. Pueri? Probably better..." He shook his head, probably dismissing any thoughts he had. "Not important when you think about it, but my deal still stands. If you can think of one wish you'd want granted, and you accept the possibility of risks, then I'd be more then happy to try."
Dozens of thoughts ran through my head. I've lost it. I've really lost it. I'm imagining cats that can talk without moving their lips, and can grant wishes. I think mom's finally going to send to me boot camp now... or the sanitarium. I continued, however, to think that if this is just the last shreds of my sanity breaking... I might as well have some fun with it. Mom's words ran through my head again. 'Why can't you be more like your sister'.
"What the hell. I'll try it. I've got a wish now, if you're ready."
"I am. What is your wish, Kichida Masaru?"
"I want to be like my sister. I want to be smart, I want to be skilled in sports, good-looking and... well... everything! I want to be exactly like her in every way!" Kyubey's ears piqued as he leapt off my shoulder and nodded.
"Very well, Kichida Masaru. If your wish is granted, then you'd be the first Pueri Magi..." The ears jutting from his other ears stretched towards me, a tugging in my chest causing me to grip just over my heart.
"Hk..." I groaned as the tug turned into solid pain. "Gah..." I continued as I was knocked to my back, a gentle white light leaving my chest. What the hell was that? What the HELL is going on here?
"Well..." Kyubey continued, his smile almost widening. "What do you know? Take hold of your Soul Gem, Kichida Masaru. Take hold of your Soul Gem and see what new powers manifest!" I reached out and clasped a hand over the white light as my back hit the ground, my vision blackening.
I awoke some time later, groggy and still fatigued. The visage of my sister shaking my shoulder lightly. "Hey... hey are you okay? Don't tell me you're dead, that wouldn't be good." I lightly shook my head and smiled.
"No... not dead sis... just groggy." My sister's face scrunched up at the sentence.
"Sis? Um... I'm not your sister... you must have hit your head, here, stand up." She pulled me up and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Where do you live, I'll walk you there." This whole thing was starting to be a little fishy. This was my sister, that much I could tell, and yet she didn't recognize me.
"Kazuko... c'mon, it's me, Masaru." I answered, my hearing still a little swirly from whatever. My sister let go of me and stepped back.
"How did you know my name? And my brother's! What's going on here?" Taking another step back, tears welled in her eyes. "Who are you?"
"I told you-" She cut me off, screaming.
"NO! You're a wierdo! Go away!" She dropped her stuff and ran towards our house. Carefully, I picked up her back pack, the little mirror hanging cutely there reflected what Kazuko had seen. My once short brown hair had turned black and long, my green eyes now blue, my glasses still sitting on my face. I had a more feminine look to my face, a slender nose and chin. Dropping the mirror in shock, I looked down. The white suit I had worn as a school uniform was still there, but the shirt buttons broken open, forced as such by the breasts that had grown on my chest. I imagined the color had drained from my face at this point as the echoed conditions of my wish had come back.
"...Exactly like her in every way..." I had not only gained her skills in sports and school, I had inherited her stunning beauty... as well as her gender. "Oh... hell..." My words came out again, my voice that of a woman, not a man. Holding her pack, I walked towards our house, to return her stuff, and see if I could convince her I am Masaru.
-A Few Moments Later-
I had arrived at our house a few minutes after the incident with Kazuko, and I could see evidence of her hurry to enter the safety of the house. The door was ajar and the gate open, dad standing out front with a scowl on his face. He walked up quietly, but sternly as he took notice of me. "Are you that girl who gave my daughter a fright?" He asked in that quiet, but serious tone. Swallowing hard, I nodded.
"I'm sorry I scared her... She dropped this when she ran... I just wanted to return it..." Holding the backpack out, he practically snatched it from my hands.
"You've returned it. Unless you've got more business, I suggest you leave, and don't speak to my daughter again." I nodded. How the hell would I convince dad that I was Masaru? He paused before speaking again. "And why are you wearing the boy's uniform? Aren't you a little... full to wear that?" It had been a tactless way of saying my breasts were too large to fit the uniform properly, but he was right. My hands went at my side to where I brushed my wallet. I still had my ID! I could use that!
"Sir... this is going to sound very weird... but what I told Kazuko... is true. I am Masaru..."
"You can't be. Masaru's my son. A boy. You're a girl. Explain that to me."
"Dad, look!" I started, pulling out my wallet, pulling everything out of it, ID, cards, you name it, everything I could to prove it. He looked at all the cards and whatnot, the scowl only growing larger.
"So you stole my son's wallet, then?"
"What, no! Look..." I tried to think for a moment, something only Masaru would know. "Last year for your birthday, I got you a drill set that I took apart a week later!" I droned, remembering myself trying to disassemble the drill with a screwdriver. "The year after, I forgot your birthday entirely, and ran away thinking you'd beat me for forgetting!" His scowl softened, but didn't disappear.
"Kazuko told everyone at school that. You could have heard it from anyone." This was getting me nowhere. Time for something I didn't want to do.
"Okay. How about this. Go into my... Masaru's room. Look in the third drawer from the top, and lift up the socks. Inside a white plastic bag will be three magazines. If they're there, then that'll prove it, right?" With a curt turn on his heels, he walked into the house. Telling dad where I stashed my porn was probably NOT the best idea, but you know what they say about desperate times, right?
Dad returned a few moments later with a white bag, and a shocked expression on his face. "I'll believe you're Masaru if you can tell me the titles of these magazines." I sighed and groaned to myself.
"Beautiful Geisha, Girl's Love, and Playboy." I groaned a little. Dad smiled and advanced, hugging me.
"We'll have a talk about the magazines later... but right now you need to talk to your sister, she's pretty freaked out." I smiled and returned the hug.
"Thanks... dad..." I followed him into the house after breaking the hug and looked about to the reactions of my family.
"I don't know how it happened... or why... but this IS Masaru. There can be no doubting it."
"You can tell just by telling you where a few magazines are?" Mom began, clearly not believing it.
"Honey, every man has his stash of dirty publications. He never tells another where they are unless it's an emergency. Masaru knew it would be the only way to get through. That would also explain why he... she's... wearing the boy's school uniform." From behind mom came Kazuko's face, peering at me. I gave her a wave.
"Sorry about earlier, Kazoo." I used a nickname I had for her. One she hated like you wouldn't believe. "Didn't mean to scare you..."
"It's... okay..." She muttered, looking at me. "And don't call me Kazoo!" She added as a second thought. Stepping out, she took a step forward and looked me over. Apparently she knew me too well... "You stand like Masaru... you've got the same inability to stand still..." Wrapping her arms around my waist, she hugged me. "That's my brother alright!"
"Well... If Kazuko and Natsuko are convinced..." Mom muttered, crossing her arms. Suddenly, she opened them and swallowed me in a hug. "I guess I'll have to be convinced too! Welcome home, Masaru!" She paused for a moment before breaking the hug. "How was that test of yours today?" Dammit... way to take the wind out of my sails, mom... Reaching into my backpack, I took the test out, and handed it to her without looking.
"Not great in the slightest..." Mom took the paper and looked over it. Her smile faded to a scowl.
"Not great?" She muttered. "I don't know how you could say that, Masaru. 'Not great' is not how I'd describe this..." It was that calm anger I hated so much. "What were you expecting to get, Masaru?"
"Something better then that..."
"Which is what? Come on, honey, what's better then an A?" She flipped the paper around and showed it to me, the red X's which I remembered were replaced with our teacher's signature grinning-face smilies. All answers correct. Perfect score.
"Well I'll be... I thought..." I smiled and returned the paper to her. "I thought that was a D this afternoon!"
"Don't be silly, Masaru. D's and A's look nothing alike." Mom continued, patting me on the head. "Maybe you finally took my advice and started studying." She thought for a moment. "Maybe this gender switch thing is for the best... no matter how strange it might be." I think for once, mom, you and I agree.
-That Night-
I found myself unable to sleep that night, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what had happened. Was that Cat thing telling the truth? Did he really have the power to grant wishes? A small tap at my window broke my thought. Sliding the frosted glass open, the pale moonlight streamed in, obscured by a face.
"This the place, Kyubey?" A female voice groaned, leaning in to see. "Hey, kid, you there?" I reached to the lamp and flicked it on, soft orange light bathing the room. The flash of light revealed the crimson-haired, red eyed face of a girl, a Pockey stick hanging limply from her mouth. She recoiled from the sudden burst of light, one hand grappling onto the window sil. "Dammit! Warn me next time!"
"S-sorry..." I muttered, sitting up so she could get off the bed. "Do you know Kyubey?"
"I know many girls, Kichida Masaru." The drone of Kyubey came again. "But this is most interesting..."
"You knew this would happen?" I asked idly, knowing what the answer might be.
"No... I only channel the power to grant the wish... how it's granted is not up for me to decide. It would appear to me that your wording may have triggered this... unique circumstance."
"Yea... 'exactly like my sister in every way.'" I droned, pulling the covers up. "I figured that much out myself." The red-head regained her sight and looked me over.
"Hey, Kyu... you said it would be a guy... but all I see is a chick in unbecoming pajamas..." I looked at myself, the red, long-sleeved sleep shirt practically swallowing my body whole, and the pale blue pants clashing with the red.
"What's wrong with my sleep clothes?" I asked more sarcastically then anything.
"Does the word tacky mean anything to you?" She asked, climbing in. The girl was most oddly dressed, a red, sleeveless dress adorning her chest, a small slit near her neck fitted with a pretty crimson gem. The dress tapered close to her legs, opening up to a light pink skirt, black under shirt and a pair of black, silk stockings. As she climbed in, she crunched on the Pockey stick, eating it.
"By the way... we're on the second floor... how did you get up here?" I asked, seeing no ladder which she could have climbed. From behind her back came the shaft of a slender spear.
"It extends. Pretty useful for an elevator." Closing the window behind her and sitting herself on the inside of the window sil, she held her hand out. "Sakura Kyouko. One of the three Puella Magi in the city. Kyubey said you'd need some help getting adjusted, so I figured I'd help. Didn't expect this, though." She looked around the room, her eyes falling on a picture of myself and my sister, taken about two months ago on vacation. "That you, there? Ya know, before the whole Puella Magi thing?" I nodded. She looked to the picture, then to me, then back to the picture, then back to me. "Hell of an improvement, and I'm not just saying that. You look good, really." She rolled her feet on the bed in circles, her boots sliding past me slightly.
"So, tell me, Masaru..." Kyoko started slowly. "What do you know about the Puella Magi so far?" I remembered the vague conversation Kyubey and I had, but not much else.
"Something about fighting Demons?"
"It's a start. Not a good one, but a start. So, have you figured out your power yet?"
"Power?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow. Kyouko's face went into her hand, only to come up a few seconds later.
"Okay, have you transformed yet? That's a good starting point." The blank stare I gave her was enough of an answer. "Oh, boy, do we have some work to do here. Okay, see this ring on your finger?" She took my right hand and showed me the silver ring I had previously not noticed, a white diamond set on the face. "That's your Soul Gem when you don't need it, usually when you're not transformed. You can recall it to Soul Gem form with a thought." I thought about the ring turning into a Soul Gem, whatever that was, and it reacted, flashing a white hue and morphing into an egg-shaped object in my palm, the gold setting housing a massive white gem.
"Nifty." I droned, looking at it.
"Whatever you do, DO NOT break this!" She gave me a stern warning. "Look at me." I looked at her eyes. "Repeat after me, DO NOT BREAK MY SOUL GEM."
"Do not break my Soul Gem." I repeated half-heartedly.
"If you break this Soul Gem, Masaru, you DIE. This Gem, is you. It's YOUR soul. If it breaks, you die. Plain and simple. If your Soul Gem gets more then a hundred feet from your body, your body shuts off, and becomes a shell." She paused as she let this information sink in. "Keep if safe, keep it close, as Mami always said. The second is usually pretty easy, because it shouldn't leave your side. The first part is easy... as long as you're not transformed..." She pointed to the gem on her chest. "That's my Soul Gem... Stupid place, but I didn't decide it." She moved on to another subject.
"Transforming is the act of releasing some of your latent magical energies to take on a form which you can use to fight Demons. Just like how your Soul Gem can change shape, it can turn you into your alternate form. For everyone, it's different... I just think of apples..." My mind raced as I thought of things, anything to help me transform into whatever she wanted me to. "Things you like... things you love, things you want to protect... anything." My mind glanced across a face I didn't recognize, and something happened, a slight white light flashing in the room. "Bingo! There it is!"
I looked over myself to see the change. My poor sleep clothes were replaced by a slender, form-fitting white suit with matching pants. The blazer jacket was buttoned all the way to my neck where a white tie hung gently, an ornate white tie-stud holding on near the bottom. The tie-stud appeared to be my Soul Gem... Lying at my side, hooking around my outstretched legs was a shaft of a large weapon, the shaft of a pearl hue, a long, curved scythe blade at the end.
"Wow... pretty power-suit-y..." She mused, looking me up and down. "Bit of a female feel, but a man's touch as well, especially around the neck area..." She nodded in approval. "Best of both worlds, I think..." She smiled at her handiwork, whatever she thought it was.
"So! How does that feel?" She asked as she continued to sit on my window sil, taking an apple from a bag she must have slipped in without my notice. "Apple?" She asked, offering me one. I politely took it and bit into it. "Now, I'm afraid there are some bad things to go with this job..." She muttered after swallowing some of the apple. "First and foremost, this isn't a profession where going home each night is assured. Death is REAL here. And if you die, that's it, you can't be brought back, not even by another wish. Fighting Deamons is dangerous, serious business. Thankfully, one of the latent abilities of all Puella Magi is our... instinctive reactions when it comes to fighting Demons. Unlike reading and talking, you don't really 'learn' how to fight them... it actually comes pretty naturally at first, and you just develop a technique as you go along." I yawned a little, my action echoed by Kyouko.
"Sorry... been a long day... can't this lecture wait until morning?" Her yawn lasting considerably longer, she nodded.
"Yea, I think I completely agree... here..." She placed a piece of paper on my chest. "Come to this address around noon tomorrow, I'll introduce you to the other Puella Magi of the city, so you know who's friend and who's neutral." I gave another yawn and nodded.
"Thank you for showing me these things, Kyouko. I'll be sure to think about them." She gave me a little smile and a slight salute.
"Any time, Masaru..." She paused for a moment. "Unrelated question... but are you planning on... ya know... changing your name? Masaru's a bit of a guy's name... and you're not exactly a guy anymore."
"We'll see." I answered, thinking about my sleep clothes again, the pearly-white suit flashing white, replaced by my tacky sleep clothes, the scythe vanishing with it, Kyouko nodded in approval.
"Oh, hey, get closer..." I scooted forward, only to have Kyouko wrap her arms around me in a hug. "Welcome to the fight. Don't be stupid, and come back alive each night, alright?" I returned her hug with one arm and nodded.