RVB Arrancars Chorus
One-Zero-One!
Washington: (voice over) Journal entry "one-zero-one."
Fade in to a canyon. The camera pans down to reveal a communications tower and soon other areas of the canyon.
Wash: (voice over) It's been a while since I've done one of these so uh, let's get caught up to speed. Everything can be traced back to Project Freelancer, a military organization gone horribly wrong. The men in charge were corrupt and the soldiers who followed them were blind. Guess which side I was on? Eventually it was the project's own creations that tore it to pieces, and I was the one sent out to pick them up. I recovered, weapons, armor and A.I. fragments, all in an effort to keep the wrong people from getting them first but I was too slow. Everyone fought over the remnants of Project Freelancer. I didn't think I could believe in anyone anymore. But then... I met the Reds and Blues.
Pans over to Baraggan approaching Di-Roy on a bridge.
Baraggan: Hey Di-Roy!
Di-Roy: Hello.
Baraggan: We've got a proposition for ya.
Di-Roy: For me? Oh well you shouldn't have.
Wash: (voice over) They had been used by the Freelancers just like I had. They were cannon fodder in a conflict with no purpose. But more importantly...
Pans over to Baraggan and Di-Roy talking to Rey.
Di-Roy: Rey the Reds gave us a proposition. We should really send them some sort of thank you basket like... fruit.
Rey: Proposition just means a choice you idiot.
Di-Roy: Oh... We will take the fuzzy one.
Baraggan: But you don't even know what the proposition is yet.
Di-Roy: Well then we don't know that it isn't fuzzy then do we?
Wash: (voice over) ...They were just stupid enough to trust. Together we were able to put an end to everything. The Freelancers, the A.I., even The Director of the whole operation. They're all gone. And as for us. Well, we're ship wrecked. Crashed during our ride home, and if we're not rescued soon. I have a feeling something else might find us first. This is Agent Washington signing... (loud explosion) Awww, what now?!
Cut to Baraggan in a tank, firing at Red base.
Findor: You missed sir.
Baraggan: Dag nabbit! Who in Sam Hill set this thing to inverted?
Findor: Well sir, statistically most users enjoy...
Baraggan: (annoyed grunting)
Findor: Well eh err, it was probably Nirgge sir.
Nirgge exits the base.
Nirgge: Hey! What the fuck is going on out here?! Who's firing at our base?
Baraggan: We are.
Nirgge: You are?
Baraggan: Our base is in desperate need of renovations. Figured I'd tear down the east wing and put in something nice and decorative. Like a mortar cannon.
Nirgge: And it didn't occur to you to warn me before you started blowing holes in the side of the wall?
Baraggan fires the tank right next to Nirgge.
Nirgge: Oh come on!
Findor: Direct hit sir.
Baraggan: No it wasn't.
Wash approaches the Reds.
Wash: What are you two doing?!
Baraggan: Well if it isn't our good friend Agent Washington.
Wash: Don't try to butter me up. Also, please refrain from pointing that at me.
Baraggan: Fine.
Findor: We were just borrowing the tank for a little construction work.
Wash: Really? And which one of my men authorized this?
Findor stares at Wash.
Wash: It was Di-Roy wasn't...
Pans left to reveal Di-Roy behind Wash.
Di-Roy: Probably.
Wash: Sarge get out of the tank.
Baraggan: Not a chance Blue! Possession is nine-tenths of the law. The other tenth is a tank. I've got both. Besides, we need it to upgrade our quarters.
Wash: Your quarters are fine.
Nirgge: Yea! Now get out of the tank you senile old-
Baraggan fires the t ank at Nirgge.
Nirgge: Fucking son of a bitch!
Baraggan: Finger slipped.
Wash: Out now!
Di-Roy: My turn!
Wash: Please be quiet.
Di-Roy: (whispering) My turn.
Baraggan exits the tank.
Baraggan: This is an outrage! Blue base is built directly below the crash site. You've got an unfair advantage.
Wash: Sarge, the Reds and Blues aren't fighting. We're just camped at opposite ends of the canyon... in color divided teams. While heavily armed.
Baraggan: True. But have you ever considered that fighting is just in our nature? It's almost instinctual. If we're not constantly trying to stab each other in the back... we'll surely die.
Wash: Dear god, I hate you.
Baraggan: That's the spirit. He he.
Nirgge: We may not be fighting but you're still way closer to the food storage than we are... and that is something that I will not stand for.
Findor: You won't stand for anything fat ass.
Nirgge: If you were a few feet closer, you'd be sorry.
Wash: If we don't ration our food we'll all be sorry. We've yet to get our communications dish online and if we run out of food before we can radio for help we're screwed.
Nirgge: Buzz kill.
Wash: Come on Di-Roy. We need to go have a chat with Private Rey.
Wash and Di-Roy leave for Blue base in the tank
Findor: There goes the revered leader of the Blue Army. What a dick.
Baraggan: Fine! We don't need that tank anyway. As many great 21st century movie trailers once said. This is only the beginning. And then text would appear on the screen. And the music would cut out abruptly. and they'd say one... final line of dialog to leave the audience with the ultimate sense of excitement!
Nirgge: Like what?
Baraggan: ...I don't know.
Well, everyone here the start of season 11. Please like and review this arc and enjoy everything too.