As a disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any recognisable characters, names, spells, curses, other incantations, magical objects, magical titles, terms of endearment, or the word Merlin as a profanity/explanation of surprise or frustration. I have taken the liberty to make several pop-culture references. Again, these are property of their respective creators/managers. I have quoted a 'Things I Will Not Do at Hogwarts' and that also is property of the creator. I am not making any material profit, monetary or otherwise (enjoyment and happiness do not count as material) from this production. I am not meaning to infringe on anyone's claims to these words. If you see something I missed, let me know.

I have made a few of my own characters

I have rated this M for language and innuendo only. This is not another way to say MA. There is nothing explicit in this.

And now, your feature presentation

It was seven years from last week that I came to Hogwarts. Seven years and seven days since I slid into the compartment. I would have asked the other occupant if he minded, but since the door had been unlatched and everywhere else was full I didn't bother. It didn't seem to matter anyway. He didn't even notice me. He just kept staring out the window at the dreary, overcast countryside. With nothing better to do, I looked out the rain-spattered window as well.

"I wonder if I should take this as an omen." I said before I could stop myself. This stranger obviously didn't care about anything I had to say. He didn't even bother glancing my way, let alone formulating a response. Was this normal Hogwarts behaviour? I certainly hoped not. I didn't want this experience to be any harder than it already was.

Harvey had found Selwyn rather quickly. Our first day in Diagon Alley, he'd been sitting at the table next to us at the ice cream parlor when he overheard our conversation, which consisted mostly of Harvey complaining about the move. Sel had reassured my brother that Hogwarts was great and he shouldn't worry. So obviously it was just this one guy who found it fine to ignore me. I turned to look back out the window when I noticed it. On the front of my compartment-mates tee shirt was a green and silver coat of arms. It was turned to the wall of the compartment, but my movement had allowed the window to give me a glimpse of reflection.

I had promised myself I wasn't going to go hating Slytherin before I'd had a chance to form my own opinions. Of course, I knew I would end up disliking them anyway. According to Selwyn, everyone but Slytherin hated Slytherin. As a muggle-born, I'd definitely be in a house where that'd rub off on me. This guy wasn't helping.

I pulled my pin-straight caramel-brown hair out of my face with an elastic band and leaned my forehead against the cool glass of the window. I closed my eyes.

"Are you nervous?" My compartment-mate asked suddenly.

"Yeah." I said shortly.

"Well, I'm not. My dad says that with a name like Malfoy I'll be immediately respected. I know I'll be in Slytherin. My cousin said it's the best house, and of course he's right." He looked at me smugly.

"Oh, right. You guys are all cousins over in that house, right?" I said back. I knew my smart-ass behavior wasn't doing me any good, but I couldn't help it. Selwyn hated Slytherin, and he'd given Harvey and me all the information we needed to formulate insults.

Two satisfyingly bright pink splotches appeared on his cheeks, a dramatic contrast to his blond hair and pale angular face.

"And you're all of tainted ancestry in the others." He said, regaining his figurative footing rather quickly.

"Tell me, Malfoy." I said "If your mum and dad divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

"Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" He asked angrily.

"No, you failed to mention anything beyond your last name." I said sharply

"You should recognize that name! Unless…" A look on his face showed me too clearly that he'd just deduced that I was a muggle-born. "Not even half and half, are you? You sick little mudblood." He said smugly.

"At least I have a soul."

"Barely." He retorted.

"You know what, Malfoy—" I said, but was interrupted by a voice that sounded like a voice that announced that we had arrived. Everyone stood and started to file off of the train. I met up with my twin brother Harvey and went to a man who was calling the first years to him.

A spherical kind-looking woman that slightly resembled Muriel from Courage the Cowardly Dog told us what was going to be going on during the sorting ceremony, then left us to wait until I was sure I was going to a school that specialised in mental and emotional torture.

Then the same woman, Professor Varity, came back and led us into the great hall, where we were sorted.

Clyde, Harvey and Clyde, Maya were, as I had been dreading, near the very first to be called. Harvey and I were both sent to Gryffindor. I learned that Malfoy's first name was Scorpius (what kind of crappy parent names his son something like that) and that he was right about being put in Slytherin.

I still hadn't let up on my hatred of Slytherin, but I felt so bad for Kaylee Thomson, a newly sorted girl with a horrible lisp. Poor girl couldn't even say the name of her house. Thi-thi-thin

A peppy, pigtailed, sunburned girl named Rose was one of the few non-Slytherins who knew what house she'd be in, and when the hat announced GRYFFINDOR! She ran right up to a group of people she already knew. Selwyn started talking with her, and Harvey and I just kept to ourselves. Soon the sorting was over and the feast began.

I must have eaten, but I don't remember that part. I know I slept, but I don't remember that part either. I only remember waking up the next morning ready to learn.