Why Rose ever agreed to come here, she'll never know. Scariest haunted house in the galaxy… brilliant. It's all the Doctor's fault. She just wanted a proper Halloween, maybe a costume party, but he went on and on about this place. All his boasting at being able to see all the strings, no matter how terrifying the creatures around them were. He could show her each and every little detail that gave away the scares. Wouldn't be scared even once. She didn't believe him. No one is that impressive.
Well, he'd been right. Of course. Wanker. They were on what felt like the millionth level of this mammoth house, and so far he'd pointed out something from each monster and ghoul that's popped up.
The murderer with the chainsaw clearly doesn't have a chain on it, can't you hear, Rose? The ghost of the woman who chased them for three hallways is obviously a native of this planet made up to look like that, why are you screaming? Well… sure, the natives of this planet are six feet tall with wings and fangs and claws, and she did touch your hair before you got out of her grasp, but she can't actually hurt you!
Bloody git still hasn't flinched even once. Someone covered from head to toe in blood swung an axe at his head and he laughed, exclaiming that the axe was certainly made of some weird plastic-silicone-whatever thing from this world.
When a group of clownish creatures pops out from literally every angle, surrounding them, Rose buries herself in his chest and refuses to move. His arms wrap around her and he whispers soothing words in her ear, trying to encourage her to keep moving.
"They're gone. I made them leave. Just one more floor, Rose, we're almost there. You can make it. I've got you."
"Don't let go."
"Of course not."
Rose takes a deep breath and peeks one eye open, glancing around them. She shuffles around, keeping her back pressed firmly against his front. His arms stay around her, hands together against her belly.
It isn't as easy to walk this way; their progress is significantly slower. Rose can breathe again, though, and that's the only thing that matters. He keeps up a running commentary of all the fake, non-scary things around them. His chatter soothes her now that it's in her ear instead of three feet away (and his arms around her waist don't hurt, either). She doesn't even jump when a ghostly child tells them they'll never make it outside alive. Before she knows it they're stepping outside, and she's breathing in the fresh, cold air.
Rose turns around in his grasp and reaches up, burying her fingers in his hair. His eyes widen as she pulls him down roughly, but he quickly melts into her, pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss and pulling her closer.
When they make it back home, she drags him to his bedroom and makes him pay dearly for putting her through the most terrifying haunted house in the galaxy.