Author's Note: This is my first Twilight fic and lately I have been in the mood for writing humor. I will write a serious fic…eventually. I still need to finish my RENT and Wicked ones. Hmm…anyway, I hope you enjoy this!
Disclaimer: Me: I OWN TWILIGHT! I OWN TWILIGHT!
Alice Cullen: I think she is having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her.
I ran my marble fingers across the smooth, ivory keys of the piano. Nothing was better than sitting down and pouring my every emotion into playing. I haven't seen Bella, my love, my life, my everything, in a few days. It was really starting to get to me. Come to think of it, I haven't seen my sister Alice either. I could not even begin to imagine what in the world those two were up two. They were both insane. Alright, insane is not a very nice way to put it since Alice was institutionalized during her human life. Let's just say they are a little….different. But, I loved them both dearly.
Just when I was about to play the song I wrote for Bella, my idiot of a brother came plundering down the stairs of our old Victorian home, singing a ridiculous song that came from God knows where. He was attempting to skip, but due to his strength, the floor was beginning to shake.
"Hey EddyPoo," Emmett sang. It was the most bloodcurdling noise I ever heard. Well, I don't have blood, but that's beside the point.
"What could be this important?" I asked Emmett, trying to keep my cool. I was trying to read his mind, but the big oaf managed to fill his mind with…let's just say…x-rated images. I quickly stopped trying to pry and let him tell me whatever was going on.
"I am just really bored. Wanna play?" Emmett asked innocently. Whatever it was that he felt like doing, I swore I would never be a part of.
"Emmett, can't you see I'm busy? Get your wife to play with you. I am sure you can have tons more fun, if you know what I mean." I began playing the piano again, trying to ignore Emmett's comments. It was not working. Emmett was staring at me with such idiocy, it was impossible to ignore him any longer. He was twitching manically, something he does when he has something to say that is very important. Honesty, it makes me wonder if Emmett had ADHD when he was a human.
"EMMETT! Just tell what you want already and stop thinking about massacring bunnies!" I shouted, the walls shaking from the force of my voice.
"Since you asked sooo nicely," Emmett began, "I just wanted to tell you-ahem-" Emmett cleared his throat. "YOUR MOM!"
I slammed the top of the piano down. That was what sooo unbelievably important was? To tell me some trivial insult because my mother, as of right now, was his mother also? He had to be kidding me. Here I was, simply trying to play the piano and wait for Bella to come and stop by but no, Emmett just had to annoy me. I picked up the television remote that was lying on the chair by Emmett and snapped it in two. Ha, perfect revenge. He could not live without his Saturday morning cartoons.
I ran up to my room at top vampire speed and slammed the door, which was a mistake. The door flew off it's hinges and I was stuck trying to fix it. All I wanted was to see Bella. How long has it been since I saw her last? It was hard to judge precisely. Being without her for just one minute felt like a century. I wanted her with me at all times. But, it had been relatively…three days. Yes, it had been three days since I last spent time with her. I crept up to her window twice and noticed that she was not there. I asked Charlie, but he only scowled and said she was spending the weekend with some girlfriends. In his head though, he was saying "Praise the Lord that for once she has a social life that consists of people other than your family." That was a lie. I knew that he adored Alice and would let Bella spend plenty of time with her.
Speaking of Alice, I haven't seen her in three days either. She was not here yesterday when Jasper took off to go hunt. Strange, I haven't seen her in three days as well. This was a tad suspicious.
Just as if she was reading my thoughts, Alice came bounding up the stairs, graceful and quietly. She lifted the door I hastily propped up against the entranceway to my room. She walked up to me and smiled. She continued staring at me, simply smiling and saying nothing.
Just because she was saying nothing, does not mean Alice was anywhere near quiet. She decided to really aggravate me and think very loudly.
"Hey Edward," She thought.
"What do you want, Alice?" I asked her.
"Hey Edward," Alice thought again.
"I asked you what already."
"Hey, Edward!"
"Shut up already!" I screamed at her.
"But I haven't said anything yet," Alice innocently thought. She shuffled her delicate feet and turned her focus to a spot on the ground.
I hated when she did that little innocent spiel. Honestly, just because she is so tiny and sweet, she makes you feel sorry when you snap at her. Women.
"Listen Alice, Emmett just got through with annoying the venom out of me. But what is it?"
"Well," Alice chimed with her smooth voice, finished by only communicate with her thoughts, "There is something that I would like to show you."
"And what might that be?" I asked. Come to think of it, I should be scared by the fact Alice has something to show me. Last time she was doing this, she cleaned out my closet and filled it with the most hideous clothes – tight black pants, band tee-shirts, converse – she wanted me to be an emo boy. She should save that for her own husband.
"Oh, Bella!" Alice called in a sing song voice. Finally, I get to see her. here days was much too long. I just wanted to scoop her up and kiss her (gently of course – handling her was like handling a porcelain doll). Bella entered my room and my jaw dropped.
"Hello, Edward," Bella said coyly. There was something different about her. I just couldn't put my finger on it. She did look unusually pale. She was paler than her usual self, which is pretty ghostlike. With the bruises under her eyes from lack of sleep from all the fun she was having, she looked pretty vampire like.
"Where have you been these past three days?" I asked concerned. I really wanted to know what was so important that I could not see her.
"I have been with Alice! Look how cool my eyes look!" Bella ran towards me, without tripping, and put her face inches from mine. That's when I noticed her eyes. They were bright red. Oh no, this could only mean one thing – Alice changed her.
"B-b-Bella? What did you and Alice do exactly?" I could barely form a sentence. I put my hand over my chest. I think my heart stopped beating. Oh, wait –my heart hasn't beaten in almost a century. Never mind that then. Still, this scared me. I did not want Bella changed. She did not deserve to lose her soul this way.
Bella took a step away from me. Changed or not she was still the same Bella. Right?
Bella began to rub her left eye vigorously. Alice shot her a nervous look. I was still in shock. Bella opened her eyes, but this time, one chocolate brown eye gazed up at me along with the red one. I noticed something fall. I fell to the floor looking for it. There I was – a contact.
"Um, April fools?" Bella giggled nervously. I swept her into my arms.
"Don't you dare do that again," I muttered in her ea. I rubbed my nose against her neck and breathed in her lovely floral scent.
"And Bella, April fools is two months away." A blush spread across her cheeks. I am undeniably in love with that girl.