Cloud Nine

By: Lehua

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine.

Chapter One

It was time. He was coming and she had to make a decision. She was no longer a child; she was a grown woman who could make her own choices, who could choose where the path of her life would go.

Up to a point.

Her greatest desire was to become his wife, but she knew it would never be possible, he would never accept her tainted blood within his family line. It was bad enough his half-brother was half-human; he would never accept a human mate, however short their union would be.

So she had to choose: to be with him for the rest of her days, watching him from the shadows, her heart breaking every night because she would never lay with him; or to move on, stay here in the mortal world where she had gained some respect in the last few years, the years in which she had chosen to stay with Kaede and Kagome. The villagers no longer viewed her as a freak or a threat; she could have a family here, grow old with a man and die being loved by someone.

Rin sat beneath the sacred tree, a habit she picked up when she was learning from Kagome and Kaede. She could hit a mark several hundred feet away with a glance; she could cure many maladies with the herbal remedies she had memorized; she could produce a protective shield against demons and draw sutras to contain and defend. And the demon-slayer, Sango, had taught her how to defend herself with many everyday implements and weapons. She had grown over the last years, changed from the naïve child to a respectable, intelligent woman. With her physical change came an emotional maturity that sometimes scared her; the depth of her obsession with her Lord was unnatural. And pointless.

He would never love her.

Rin closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the tree, feeling the slow life of the tree as it traveled up the roots and into the leaves. She wished she could be the tree, slow and unmovable, uncaring for the world beyond the bark. How much simpler would life be if she were a tree.

But she had to choose: a repressed life with her Lord, or a sad life with a mortal man.

She sighed and heard the grass rustle beside her. She opened her eyes and said, "Good morning, Inuyasha."

He grunted, sitting beside her with his arms across his chest. "Kagome is looking for you."

Rin said nothing.

Inuyasha remained silent.

"I can't choose."

"Choose what?" Inuyasha said.

Rin turned and looked at his profile, her heart tugging at the small resemblance she saw in his features. "Between my Lord and marriage."

Inuyasha snorted. "Not much choice there."

Rin tilted her head and studied him carefully. "What would you choose if you were in my place?"

"I will never be in your situation."

"Humor me," she said.

He turned slightly, looking at her from the corner of his eye. "Neither."

Rin blinked and leaned back. "What other choice do I have?"

He snorted again and stood up. "Stupid woman," he muttered and jumped away from her.

What other choice did she have? She could be with her Lord or she could lead a mortal life, and the definition of a mortal life was marrying and having children. Surely those were her only choices. Surely there wasn't another choice, a different path she could take.

She stood and walked back to the village, her mind deep in thought, trying to contemplate what Inuyasha meant. Usually he was so transparent, but she couldn't seem to wrap her mind around his answer. As she emerged from the forest she saw Kagome dressed in her priestess robes, a gaggle of children around her all smiling and chattering. A small girl was holding her hand and sucking on her thumb, a determined look on her face that suggested nothing could separate her from this woman. As Kagome turned and smiled, Rin saw a vision of a different woman standing there, surrounded by the children.

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Today she would be coming home. Today she would take her rightful place by his side, as she had before, and he would care for her as he always had and keep a watchful eye on her. Her devotion was absolute; he had no worries that she would choose a different life.

Jaken had prepared her room, swept away the cobwebs and laid down fresh tatami, muttering all the time while doing it. But he knew the imp was relieved she would finally be coming home; the last few years had been upsetting for the little demon, having no one else to bicker and fight with.

Now he, the imp, and Ah-Un travelled to the village where she stayed, ready to welcome her back. A knot in his chest that he had been unaware of until that moment began to unravel, and against his will the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He let the odd feeling of euphoria sweep over him for a moment before resetting his face, his customary bored indifference once again in place.

He inhaled deeply, her scent setting his blood on fire as they drew nearer to her. She was in flux, making his canines sharpen involuntarily. He would have to be careful around her, would have to keep himself in tighter control now that she was a woman. It would be far safer for her to stay in the village, but he had missed her constant presence the few years she'd spent in the village. He wouldn't go as far as to say he needed her back in his life, but her presence would make his life far more comfortable and less stressful. The bond they had created when she was with him previously still burned strong, and whether she chose it or not, she would always be his subject, his ward. It was time for her to come home.

He followed her scent to the village and was greeted by the little miko, his brother's wife. "Good morning, Sesshomaru," she said, inclining her head. A small child peeked at him from behind her legs. "Say hello to your uncle, Izayoi."

The child stepped forward and said, "Hello, Uncle," then hid behind Kagome's legs again.

Kagome smiled. "She's a bit shy this morning."

Sesshomaru turned his gaze to his brother who was walking toward him, a scowl rooted in his features. Sesshomaru suppressed the urged to bash Inuyasha's face in and turned his gaze back to the miko. "Where is Rin?" He knew perfectly where Rin was, could sniff her out from miles away, but felt it would be more polite to ask, and it would annoy his brother who would have no cause to start a fight. While the urge to kill Inuyasha had mellowed over the years, provoking and annoying Inuyasha was still one of his many entertainments.

"Sesshomaru, there's something," Kagome began, but he lost the sound of her voice when he saw Rin emerge from her hut, the breeze catching her scent and setting his blood to boil again. He barely heard Inuyasha growl a warning before he was beside her, his talons gripping her arms tightly, a small gasp escaping her lips.

"Why are you dressed like this?" he hissed, his nails tearing into the white fabric covering her arms, drawing blood in several places. Inuyasha tried to come between him and Rin but Sesshomaru deflected him with a wave of his hand, barely aware of Inuyasha's presence.

Her heart was beating fast in her chest and he could smell her arousal at his presence, at the violence in which he'd grabbed her, but her surprised expression soon became one of rage, and he released her, his eyes widening in shock.

She surveyed the damage he'd caused and then looked him straight in the eye. "Good morning, Sesshomaru."

"Lord Sesshomaru to you, girl!" a voice called. Jaken stomped over, his mouth open, ready to give Rin a tongue lashing, but he stopped in mid-stride, his mouth handing open.

Rin stood before everyone, dressed in the traditional red and white of a priestess, small red dots blossoming on the upper parts of her arms where Sesshomaru had grabbed her.

"Why are you dressed as a priestess?" he said.

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He had taken her by surprise when she'd first stepped out from her hut. The force in which he'd grabbed her, the violence of his touch, and the barely suppressed growl in his voice had frightened and aroused her all at once. She wanted to reject the choice she had made, fall into his arms and beg him to take her away, but the harsh realities of what life would be like in his court and the deep sadness she would live with for the rest of her life overcame her desires and she pushed back. How dare he lay a hand on her? How dare he question her choices before she'd even expressed them, as if he had a right to choose for her. She was no longer a child.

He loomed before her, the calm mask he wore cracking, the barely contained rage emanating in waves from his body. Why was he so angry? Why was he looking at her as if she'd grown a second head?

"Why are you dressed as a priestess?" he repeated.

"I have been trained as a priestess since I moved here. It's only natural that I should become one," she said.

He relaxed a fraction. "I see. I do not need a priestess. Change into something else and lets go." He turned away.

She hesitated. A significant part of her wanted to go with him, wanted to listen to him, wanted to experience the twisted desire she had for him everyday, torture herself until she could take it no more, so long as she was with him. But the part that had matured here in the village, the part that had become the woman she was today and would be tomorrow, rebelled. "No," she said.

He stopped and turned toward her again slowly. She felt exposed by his gaze as his eyes raked over her body and peered into her dark eyes. "Then come as you are." He turned away again.

She took a deep breath and said, "No."

Sesshomaru stopped again, this time not looking back. "As you wish," he said softly, then, "Jaken, let's go."

Rin watched as the one she loved walked out of her life.

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Jaken began almost at once when they were out of earshot. "How dare she defy you! You're not going to let her get away with this, my lord, are you? I shall go back and drag her home."

Sesshomaru heard the imp turn around. "Jaken," he said. "Let her be."

Jaken's mouth dropped open and he ran in front of Sesshomaru. "Surely you're not going to let her stay here? She was impudent and deserves to be punished."

Sesshomaru kept walking, ignoring the imp now that he had commanded him to let her be. What was she thinking? Why wasn't she skipping along behind him, happy to be coming home? Who was this woman who openly defied him in front of his stupid brother and the dim-witted villagers? And why hadn't he put her in her place, forced her to come with him, forced her to apologize on her knees?

He looked down at his hands, the tips of his talons that were still covered with her blood. He'd never drawn her blood before, had never treated her with anything but patience and gentle touches. How could she leave him? How could she choose a life that didn't involve her being by his side everyday? When had it become not enough to be with him? When had she changed? He had been sure of her, able to calculate what she would do up until that moment. He'd known that last time he saw her that she would choose to come home with him. What had driven her to change her mind? What had he done to make her leave for good? This was only supposed to be temporary.

Jaken was still wailing about Rin.

"Jaken!" he said. The imp quieted immediately. "Go home."

"What will you do, my Lord?" the imp said as he climbed on top of Ah-Un.

Sesshomaru walked away.

Read and Review please. I am not sure what happens in the series. I've only had glimpses of the upcoming manga volumes and I'm going on what I've learned. Rin decided to live with Kaede after Naraku is dead and Sesshomaru visits her frequently, bringing her gifts. He regenerates his arm at some point too. This story takes place after she grew up and became a woman. I suspect she stayed with Kaede b/c she would soon be reaching puberty and would have to learn how to care for herself from another woman.