Two months now. It's been two months. Since... the happening. Since I lost Guinevere. Since I lost my will to live. Since I lost everything.
I'm sitting in the waiting room of Emrys Law Firm, where I'm waiting for my solicitor, a guy called Merlin Emrys. I've been working with him for a month now but there hasn't really been any development. We've been meeting three times a week every week for a month but still nothing. We're still on square one. He's supposed to be the best in this business. Won all his cases, perfect track record, has his own firm now; basically he's top dog in the law business. Which is why you have to pay thousands to have a one-minute conversation with him. I had to cough up a couple grand myself to get him to do my case. Cos I don't think anyone could do it but him. Everyone says it's impossible. But I'm going to make it possible.
I look around the bare waiting room. Clean, white walls. A furry carpet. I've been to this place so many times I could get around with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. So many times but nothing achieved. Maybe I should've gone to someone else. Someone who knows how to handle my kind of case. But I have to admit Merlin's right. My case is far from ordinary. Memory loss and emotional matters isn't really something lawyers do. They do crime, divorce, finance; that kind of thing. Something you don't need may feelings to understand. But my case, Guinevere's case, is completely made up of feelings and how the human brain works. Complicated.
I stare at the blank white wall in front of me, and think back to the day that lead to all this mess. I didn't suspect anything would happen that day. It was a typical day, really. We were just on another date, before our wedding, visiting a hill that she wanted to see because it had some legend behind it. Behind the giant rock in the middle of it. One of Guinevere's hobbies is cryptids, legends, myths, etc. Basically everything that doesn't actually exist, and never really did. She likes that kind of mysterious stuff.
"It's getting stormy now, Guinevere, we should start heading back. Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" I ask from the back seat.
She laughs and smiles at me through the mirror. "It's fine, Arthur. It's not far until the hill and it's not that rainy yet. Stop worrying, you worrywart!"
"You only got your driving licence a few weeks ago, though." I argue.
"The road here is nothing compared to the course I had to drive through when I was having my driving test, you know. Just straight up and down, I could do it with my eyes closed!" she grumbles.
"Fine. Just call me when you want to swap." I tell her and move around the boxes, making myself a makeshift bed.
"Sure. Go to sleep now." she flashes me a grin and then quickly returns her eyes to the road. We're nearly at the peak of the hill. This is the easy part so I guess I don't have to worry. I lie down and close my eyes. It's a pretty smooth road so I'll be able to have a small nap at least.
She's a good driver. There are barely any bumps and no sudden brakes or anything. The car starts driving uphill and I slide a bit backwards. I recognize this bit. Only about 50 meters until we're at the peak of Essetir Hill.
True to my word, a minute later the car pulls to a stop and Guinevere shakes my shoulder and pulls me up. "Arthur! We're at the top of the hill now! Get the camera and come on!" she exclaims and jumps out of the car. I open the back door and follow her until we're at the center of the hill. Guinevere takes my hand and pulls me onto the giant slab of rock that was once used for sacrificing stuff to the goddess in the past. Apparently.
The rain suddenly starts to pour down relentlessly. "You go on first, Guinevere. Take my coat. I'll get an umbrella from the car." I give her my windbreaker, which she puts on and she gives me a quick kiss before stepping up onto the platform. I quickly fetch my umbrella from the car and start making my way back to her. She's standing in the middle of the the rock, dancing in the rain in my blue jacket. She looks beautiful, mystical. Like a rain goddess. I stare some more then start walking towards her again, a chore since the ground is starting to get a little muddy now. Somewhere, far in the distance, I hear a quiet rumble of thunder. Far enough, I think. We'll be long gone before then. Two minutes later, there's another louder rumble, much closer. Maybe we should leave now. I start jogging towards Guinevere, my trainers dragging in the mud when the ground starts trembling. The tremors get bigger and bigger until I slip and fall into the mud. I shout at Guinevere to come back but she doesn't hear over the howling of the wind. She's fallen down too, and it trying to stand up.
Then it happens. A magnificent bolt of lightning streaks down from the sky and strikes her. Her small body suddenly starts jerking and trembling as electricity courses through her. I hear petrifying screams, which I later realize were mine, not hers. I'm motionless, just watching her die. A few seconds later she falls and lies there, not moving an inch. I finally realize what's happening and try to get up, try to get to her side, help her. But the ground is holding onto me like a vice, not letting me go, and moments later I black out, exhausted, tears streaming down my face...
I feel tears pricking at the corner of my eyes as I remember that day. I could've saved her. If I hadn't been so... so weak. If I hadn't fallen, I could've reached her and perhaps she wouldn't be as damaged as she is now. If I hadn't gone back to get the umbrella. If we hadn't gone to the hill in the first place. If. If. If. There's always going to be that massive 'if' in my mind. It's never going to be erased, just like Guinevere. If.
"Arthur?" Merlin's voice cuts through my thoughts and he comes up to me and pats my arm. "It's time for our appointment. Sorry I'm late."
"It's okay. Have there been any developments?" I ask as we go into his office. I already know the answer.
He sighs and sits down in his leather chair, too large for his lanky stature. "I'm afraid not." He sees me sigh and raises a hand. "But! But I've arranged a meeting with Guinevere's solicitor tomorrow afternoon so there may be some improvements by the end of the week." He grins at me, as if expecting a grin back but his face falls too when he sees that I'm just even more depressed.
I sigh. "That's good." I say. As if it'll do anything. He's been having dozens of meetings with Miss Ryan since he started my case and we're still on square one. I'm starting to doubt whether he really is no.1 in this business or not. Certainly doesn't look like it.
"I will do it, Arthur. It's just, this case is different like I said at the beginning! I've never come across one like this before and it's so... so... foreign to me! I don't do foreign!" he exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air.
"I don't care what you do or not do Merlin! Just win me this bloody case!" I yell. My hands are gripping the edges of the chair like vices, so much that my nails are sinking into the mahogany. The emotional pain I'm feeling overrides the physical pain and I don't feel anything over my anger and desperation. I slump forward in my chair and rest my head into my hands.
Merlin leans over the desk and sighs. "Arthur, I will win this case. I'll get Guinevere back for you. She's going to be yours by the end of the year, I promise." he says softly. "She'll remember."
She has to remember. She has to.
I have to get her back. I need to get her back.
I can't live without her. She is like my oxygen, my life source. Being without her for too long will kill me. More than it already has.
Come back, Guinevere.
Please.