You Were Always There
You Never Really Knew
It all started out so innocently, Taylor thought to herself as she curled up in a ball on her bed. She clutched her favorite, lime green pillow to her chest as some type of shield for protection. She threw the necklace down that her boyfriend, Jake Jagelski, had gotten her for Christmas; the scene of Jake and the new girl, Peyton Sawyer, fucking was running through Taylor's mind at a rapid pace. Taylor went through the night in her head, almost in slow motion; she was trying to figure out exactly what she had done wrong.
She and Jake walked into Lucas Scott's house for the biggest party of the year, or at least one of them. The night started out great: dancing, drinking, kissing, everything that would be going on at a high school party. Taylor had split up with Jake for a good ten minutes, the next thing Tay knew she was opening a bedroom door only to see Jake and the curly blonde having sex.
Taylor's cell phone rang, and snapped her out of her daze. Jake's name blinked on the screen. Frustration and anger ran through Taylor's veins as she threw the phone back down on the bed. He wasn't worth it, that's what Brooke had said. Peyton Sawyer is a slut, that's what Haley had said. Her two best friends, Haley James and Brooke Davis; they were the ones who drove Taylor home after the incident with Jake and the infamous Peyton Sawyer. They were the ones who wiped her tears and tried to make her laugh.
The tears had stopped, but it still hurt. Taylor ripped down all the pictures of her and Jake; his face made her want to vomit. He was the guy that had changed her ways. Before she met Jake, Taylor had been a club hopping, chain-smoking, bar slut. Her family had moved her from San Francisco to Tree Hill because of her rebellious ways. When she got to Tree Hill she was a mess, she slept with some guys, she drank a lot, and she planned on doing that until Jake came along in her life. He cleaned Taylor up and became one of her good friends; he introduced her to Haley and Brooke, and Lucas and Nathan.
Nathan had also been a person who she had become good friends with; he was one of her first real, commitment, type hook up. Taylor had been with him when Jake was dating around. Finally, after a couple months both Taylor and Jake realized that they did, in fact, want to be together. Taylor and Jake. Jake and Taylor. They were always together, and when you saw them it just made you want to fall in love.
Taylor looked in her mirror and re applied her make up; it was her first night being officially single, somebody had to call her sooner or later. A couple minutes later her phone rang; Taylor looked at her screen and saw Nathan's name blinking on the screen she smiled and opened the phone.
"Hey Nate," she said in almost a sigh of relief.
She could hear Nathan take a deep breath, "Hey Tay," he said almost sympathetically, "How are you feeling?"
"I don't know," Taylor answered truthfully as she sat down on her bed, "I'm feeling angry and upset, but I just want to feel nothing. It's hard."
Taylor could hear Nathan sitting down on his bed as well, "I'm sorry," he finally said.
"You didn't do anything Nate," Taylor said, "I mean, you didn't force Jake to fuck the girl, he did it all by himself," she said bitterly.
"I wish there was something I could do," Nathan began.
Taylor bit her bottom lip, "How fast do you think you can be here?"
--
Nathan walked into the all familiar house; he remembered when Taylor first came to Tree Hill. The girls whispered, the guys gawked, and nobody knew what to think about her. She drank, she smoked, she did drugs; she was the poster girl for being bad.
Taylor walked down the stairs and saw Nathan looking at the big, leather couch that was set in front of the fire; she smiled to herself. Neither one of them could look at that couch without thinking about the one night they had shared.
"What are you thinking about Nate?" Taylor asked, breaking the silence.
Nathan turned around; his blue eyes sparkled as he smirked, "Just some stuff," he said.
"You know," Taylor began as she stretched out the sleeves of her sweatshirt, "If that couch could talk…"
Nathan laughed, "Let's go upstairs."
Nathan walked into the room and saw the pictures of Jake sprawled out on the floor; he picked one of Taylor and Jake up and saw that it was torn down the middle. Taylor sat on her bed and watched Nathan as he looked around her room, and then sat down next to her.
"Sometimes I wonder if I should just go back to the way I was," Taylor said softly, "It didn't hurt as much when I was drunk, or high, or when I was just hooking up with random bar guys."
Nathan brushed a strand of Taylor's blonde hair out of her face, "Jake…He's an idiot. You didn't deserve the things he did to you, but you shouldn't go back to your old ways because of it."
"I loved him!" Taylor exclaimed, "I put everything I had into Jake because I thought he cared. All my life I wanted to find somebody like that and he just ended up disappointing me and being like every other guy."
Nathan looked at Taylor; he could tell that she was hurting. It was true, she loved Jake more than anything in the world, "You need some sleep," he said.
Taylor nodded and laid down on her bed, still clutching her pillow. Nathan patted her leg and started to get up, "Nate…"
"Yeah?" Nathan said as he turned around.
Taylor just looked at him; she wanted him to stay, she wanted him to cuddle with her, to tell her that everything would be okay. Taylor gave him a strained smile, "Thanks…For everything."
"Anytime Tay," Nathan said and then walked out of the room.
--
Taylor walked into first period and saw Brooke saving her a seat; Brooke gave her a cheery smile as she sat down, "Hey best friend," Brooke squealed.
"Hey best friend," Taylor returned, "What's got you so chipper, did you finally nail Brad Pitt?"
Brooke laughed, "Still working on that…Apparently he likes girls that wear other people's blood around their neck, and makes out with their brother."
"Well, good luck with that," Taylor said with a laugh.
Haley walked into the room and sat in front of Taylor, "Hey whores," she said jokingly.
"Takes one to know one," Brooke said and then stuck out her tongue.
Taylor ran her fingers through her blonde hair and looked at it, "I want to change my hair color," she said.
"Blonde is so last week," Brooke said putting emphasis on 'so'.
Haley and Taylor laughed, "It's just time for a change," Taylor began and then looked over as Jake and Peyton walked into class together.
"Somehow the word bitchslut is flashing in my mind," Haley whispered to Taylor and Brooke.
Jake looked at Taylor and then looked back at Peyton, "I've told you this a million times," Brooke began, "You don't need him he's a worthless piece of donkey shit."
"I'm fine," Taylor lied and then put on a fake smile towards her friends, "So, are you two going to Tim's party tonight?"
Haley and Brooke both nodded, "Wouldn't miss it," Brooke began, "Are you coming with us or just driving yourself?"
"I don't know," Taylor shrugged, "I think Nathan might take me."
Brooke raised her eye brow suggestively, "So you're hitting that again?" She teased.
"No," Taylor said as she rolled her eyes, "I mean, he came by last night, but nothing happened."
Haley looked at her in shock, "You guys didn't even kiss?"
"No," Taylor said annoyed, "God, what did you guys expect me to do? Fuck him?"
"Yes," Haley and Brooke said in unison.
Brooke nodded over towards Peyton and Jake, "He hurt you Tay…You and Nathan have always had that undeniable sexual tension towards each other…Use it."
"Did he even sleep over?" Haley asked.
Taylor sighed, "No," she said, "Nathan and I used to hook up, and now we're just really good friends. I don't want to ruin that."
"But you guys hooked up like it was going out of style," Brooke said, "It never got weird between you two."
Taylor rolled her eyes, "That's because it was just sex, nothing more."
"Right," Brooke said as the bell rang for class to start.
--
Nathan knocked on Taylor's bedroom door; he walked in after she had said come in. He looked at the site in front of him and smiled; Taylor's hair was almost a reddish brown and she was wearing low cut jeans and a black halter top.
"Do you like my hair?" Taylor asked apprehensively.
Nathan looked her up and down, "Yeah," he said and then blinked his eyes a couple times to get out of his daze, "Are you ready?"
"Yeah," Taylor said and then headed out of her room with Nathan.
The two of them sat in the car as Taylor turned on the radio; putting it to one of her favorite stations. Nathan laughed to himself and shook his head, "You know…Sometimes I think you think this is your car."
"It is my car," Taylor teased and then looked out the window.
Nathan cleared his throat, "Are you nervous about seeing Jake?"
"I guess," Taylor said, "I just don't want to see him and that blonde bitch being all chummy together."
Nathan pulled into Tim's driveway and turned off the car, he turned towards Taylor and looked at her, "The best thing you can do right now is just ignore him…Tay you are too good for him."
"If I'm too good for him then why did he find somebody else?" Taylor asked as her eyes began to water.
"Because he's a fucking idiot who wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and bit him in the ass," Nathan said, which got a laugh out of Taylor, "We won't go in until you're ready to go in."
Taylor sat there and regained her composure; she knew that Jake had made the biggest mistake of his life. She looked down at her hands and then back up at Nathan, "Let's go," she said and they both got out of the car.
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