James frowned in concentration. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. He was very sure that his eyes were open, but all he could see was black. He tried to sense his surroundings, and he could definitely hear the noise of workers, but he couldn't place where he was. He tried to move, to sit up, and found that he was immediately in immense pain.
James groaned, and tried to free himself, when he suddenly; fond himself being scolded:
"You're going to give me a heart attack, you will! Quit your moving about and lay still; you'll never heal otherwise." He then distinctly heard a pair of slightly-heeled shoes walking away.
James smiled to himself, thinking of all the times Madame Pomphrey had said similar things to him.
"Mr. Potter! If you refuse to drink this Skel-Grow, you will never play Quid ditch again!"
A 14-year-old James started guiltily. He obediently drank the Skel-Grow, and shuddered. How he hated the taste of Skel-Grow.
"Mmh-mmh, dear. You're in for a rough night... again." Madame Pomphrey held up her hand. "I don't want to hear it, Mr. Potter. I don't care what it was, a Bludger or a rain hippogriff; I will not believe whatever story you concoct this time. Try and rest." With that, Madame Pomphrey left him.
James shifted about in his bed, thinking. He wondered where Snape had found the spell to remove his arm bones. Sure, he and Sirius had used it on each other when they had their occasional spats, but he had been sure that they were the only ones who knew about it. He suddenly growled in anger as he thought back to their duel. It wasn't the duel that made him angry, but what it was about.
Lily Evans.
It was always about her with James. Every single thing he did led back to her somehow. And that slimy, greasy git had called her a Mudblood! James could have killed him for that, but Snape got to him first. Damn, how he hated him...
Of course, Lily could never know about the duel. He'd make sure of that...
James settled back to sleep. He wondered how long he'd be stuck in here...
He hadn't been asleep long when he heard whispers. He kept his eyes closed, he wasn't sure if they were covered or not, and listened carefully to the hushed conversation taking place at the foot of his bed.
"Sirius, he's sleeping. I'm not sure we should even be here-"
"Lily, what are you talking about? Of course we should be here. We're mates, me and him. I can't leave and come back later, I took today and tomorrow off for him-"
"Sirius, he's resting! Don't you want him to get better? Besides-" whatever Lily had been about to say was cut off by James' overly loud "Hello!" Lily shifted guiltily, unnoticed by James and Sirius, who were already busy chatting. Lily still hadn't told Sirius what had happened when she rescued James, and she wasn't quite sure what James would do about it.
"- it's a good thing Lily was there to save you, eh, mate?" Sirius said to James.
"Oh, did Lily save me? I don't really remember much-"
Lily and Sirius looked at each other. "Now, that's not funny, James. You scared me to death when you fell off that broom-"
James laughed. "Now I know you must be joking," he said. "I do not fall of brooms, Lily dear."
Sirius glanced at Lily cautiously, in case she got mad. She was in what appeared to be shock, however. "James. . ."
"Yeah, Padfoot?"
"We're not joking. Now, think back to the night you escaped. Do you remember anything?" Sirius looked really anxious.
"Umm, well, there was a house elf Dobby who I remember helping somehow. Er, and I think Malfoy was quite upset that I was escaping. . . After that, it's all a blur."
"Oh," Lily said. Sirius looked at her. "What?" he mouthed, but she shook her head. Shrugging, he turned back to his wounded friend.
"You take care, mate. Maybe you'll remember later. Oh, and Remus and Peter will come visit you tomorrow."
"Thanks Sirius. Bye, Lily."
"Bye," they said, leaving. As son as they were well away from James' room, Sirius looked at Lily questioningly. "What?" he said.
James began thinking as soon as they left. Lily had sounded as lovely as ever, but more reserved. Is she mad at me, he wondered. What happened that night, anyway?
"I just thought he'd remember," Lily told Sirius. Sirius nodded, accepting Lily's lie. Inwardly, Lily sighed with relief.
He didn't remember! That was great, because now she didn't have to worry about him bothering her about it. She smiled, her clouds of confusion seemingly leaving.
Lily just never expected to bother herself...
She walked home to her apartment, having parted from Sirius, who had to go in to talk with the Ministry. She headed to the kitchen for a snack, and ran over the events in her head. It was almost like a dream, replaying over and over, in a neutral black and white. Finally, Lily let herself get to the end of the mission, where James had said 'it'. Suddenly, Lily had recoiled in shock. The scene had been in color.
What could this mean? Lily racked her brain for solutions. There had to be something there in her subconscious that wouldn't allow her to just skim over that part of the mission. Why would it matter? Lily sat down in a chair, feeling very tired. Was it because she was concerned for James? That she didn't want to hurt his feelings? She didn't want him and Sirius to have a fight? She loved him, too?
Wait a minute. Lily dropped the cookie she had been about to devour. Where had that come from? Sirius was her boyfriend, and she cared a lot about him, but she wouldn't call it love. But she could love his best friend?
Abruptly, Lily's mind reeled as it was filled with memories of all the time she and James had spent together. Touching memories, funny ones, fights, stupid conversations, she seemed to have memorized every one.
Lily sat on a balcony in the Astronomy tower, looking out over the grounds. She smiled slightly, trying to take in the whole picture. It was a beautiful night, with the moon shining full... The moon shining full! Oh no, Remus! Lily panicked. She hadn't even remembered! How could she forget!
Lily jumped off the balcony and ran down the steps, determined to at least be at the Infirmary when Remus came back.
She whisked down the stairs, going faster at every turn. Eyes darting around, Lily saw shadows move out of the corner of her eye. Filch! she thought desperately! She glanced around. She was on a staircase, with no where to go. Damn, Lily cursed. Then she mentally smacked herself as Mrs. Norris's head twitched around in her direction. She began to back against the wall, when she bumped into something solid.
A hand grabbed her and pulled her under a cloak, firmly holding her mouth. Lily offered no resistance until Filch and Mrs. Norris were well away. Turning around, she slapped James Potter across the face.
"You scared me! Why did you wait so long?" Lily hissed.
James smiled cockily. "I was waiting for you to notice my presence, Lils."
Lily glared at him. "Were you now?" James smirked at her, and began to descend the stairs once more. Calling back to Lily, he said, "You best move, Lils. Remus is already back and he was quite upset when you didn't see him off."
Lily cursed again, and bounded down the stairs after James. "You are impossible, Potter."
Lily smiled at that memory. She remembered how annoyed she had been at James, and when she told Arabella Figg, her best friend, she simply said, "That's why you love him."
Lily stopped smiling again. 'That's why you love him,' rang in her ears, a sentence uttered almost 5 years ago by her best friend.
Did she love him?
Lily spent a night plagued by memories in the form of dreams. She awoke feeling more tried than she had when she fell asleep, but her mind was resolved. She knew what she had to do.
Lily met Sirius outside the office, and felt the butterflies in her stomach come to life. Nervously, she asked, "Sirius, could I have a word with you?" Sirius nodded, giving her a look. He headed over to a Muggle café with her, and after they had ordered, he looked at her.
"Lils, what's the matter with you? You've been out of it ever since you came back from you last mission." Sirius's face was full of concern.
"Er, Sirius, this is not easy for me to say, but. . . I think we should break up." Whatever Sirius had been expecting, it wasn't that. He drew back in shock. "I'm really sorry," Lily rushed on, "but I think that I'm in love with someone else. I don't want to lie to you."
Sirius didn't answer, and he made no move to. He sat looking pensive when the waiter came with their drinks. Lily smiled at the waiter, and turned back to Sirius, even though all she wanted to do was run.
"Why?"
Lily looked up from her tea. "Why? You mean, 'Why do you love someone else?' or, 'Why tell me this now?'"
"Go with the second one first.'"
Lily looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess it's because I only just realized. Sirius, I think I love. . . James. When he got hurt, I abruptly realized all these feelings for him I never knew I had."
Sirius stared at her for a moment, and then laughed out loud. "About time," he said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Lils, you've loved him since First Year after he pranked Malfoy for calling you that. I knew when we started going out that it wouldn't last forever. . ."
"Then why go out with me?" Lily interrupted. "Are you telling me we've been together 5 months for nothing and you knew about it?"
Sirius sipped his coffee, contemplating his answer. "No," he said. "I love you, Lils, but I've grown to realize that we'd be better friends after these past 5 months. I have loved every minute of being with you, but I think you belong with James." He paused, and then continued," So what are you going to do about it?"
Lily looked thoughtful now. "I'm not sure," she said truthfully. There was silence for a few minutes, and then Lily said, "I think I'll go see him." She left Sirius sipping coffee, smiling at the idiocy of his friends.