The wind was cold.
It blew in Christina's face, tossing her dark locks into her face and obscuring her vision. Or maybe that was the liquid falling from her eyes, either one was a possibility.
The rock in front of her could hardly qualify as a tombstone. But Christina had chosen the slab of stone herself, right off the ground, and done her best to carve his name and birthday into it. She didn't bother to write the day of his death - she had always thought that was stupid. Why focus on the sad memories? She already has constant reminders of her shattered happiness, she didn't need any more. Nevertheless, she had carved the date into the back, just for traditional purposes. Her dark fingers, streaked with mud, traced the roughly hewn letters.
W
i
l
l
"Hey Will," her voice cracked as she spoke, "I got you some new flowers."
She laid the daisies she had picked from the field down on the ground. Of course, Will's body wasn't actually in this spot. No, Christina had absolutely no clue where it was, and therefore she was free to bring his 'grave' with her wherever she went. But that didn't matter. What mattered was that his soul was probably here, listening to her, as she poured out her day to him. She could almost picture him sitting there on the dry grass next to her, growling possessively when she told him about the young employee in the cafe handing her a cell-phone number on a slip of paper, or running his hands through his sandy blond hair and laughing when she described her accidental introduction of her face to a metal pole while rollerskating. But she didn't forget to tell him how things would have been different if he had been there with her. Maybe her lunch would have been a little tastier, or the sun a little brighter. Perhaps the birds' chirps could have sounded more melodious, or the wind wouldn't be quite as harsh against her face. There were so many 'maybe's and 'what-if's that Christina didn't waste her time dwelling on them anymore.
"Hey babe, I have to go now," she whispered, "but I'll be back soon, alright? Hang tight. And say hello to Tris for me, would you? Oh, and Marlene, Lynn, Uri, Fernando, Tris' parents, Al, Edward,..."
Her voice cracked as she spoke the names of all the 'dearly departed's in her life. There were too many. Much too many, and Christina didn't like one bit of it. Once she was sure she had listed everyone, she paused for a moment to wipe her eyes, before continuing.
"I...I love y-you...and I m-m-miss you...don't you worry, I'll never forget you. Never, you hear me? So just hang on, I'll be joining you someday. And you'd better have h-hamburgers and cake...d-dauntless cake!"
And now her nose was running. Her eyes were watering. Her face was flushing. Her knees were shaking. She heard his voice sweeping through her head, like a comforting Summer breeze. It's gentle teasing undertone was nothing compared to the unconditional love it held, and the warm, if not slightly crooked, smile that accompanied it.
That's my girl. Tough as cotton balls.
Me: I'm sorry...I think...I just...I just had to, and it's late, and I'm not tired, and what even ohmygosh Roth why did you kill Will how dare you. ExcuseMeWhileICurlIntoABallAndCry.