Finally I can upload it. First, I suck as a friend. This is a birthday present for my dear Michelle, but I am three days late. I'm sorry about that, but I hope you can forgive me. Once again, Happy Birthday.
Inspirited by the Phantom Lord Arc. I know, Michelle, that you wanted Nalu, but after all it's more Lucy with some Nalu. I put here also a relationship with Juvia because I remember it appeared on your list once. I hope you enjoy it :)
The idea is born in Lucy's mind suddenly, but it seems to be so natural, as if it was always there, a slowly germinating seed of a concept.
The roses smell lovely today.
"What are you looking at?" Juvia asks. Lucy feels her long, delicate fingers of a princess on her back, smoothly tying a corset as white as a cloud. Harder and harder, the strings (a thick rope) tighten around her waist (neck).
I can't breathe, can you see it, Juvia?
"The roses smell lovely today."
"Juvia does not smell it."
She doesn't? - Lucy is surprised. Now the mild, summer breeze blows tirelessly in her big / tiny room (a spacious room doesn't matter, this world is too small for Lucy, too narrow, too limited.). Wind carries the smell of a garden, acute and intensive. The roses are blooming, born red. Oh, maybe this is why she can't feel it? The smell of crinoline is stronger, rises in the air, fills every corner, just like the starched dresses, velvet and silk. No softness, they are heavy - factory.
"Roses bloom," Juvia finally admits, looking out the window. Lucy nods. Then Juvia adds: "Red is too vulgar."
Lucy nods.
Yes, she understands. Juvia's blue is perfect, there is no place for red. Her blue fills it all, she's full - complete. Lucy is jealous, because Juvia has everything what she lacks, what she desires.
"Your hair is beautiful, Juvia."
"With this umbrella you look like a real lady, Juvia!"
"You're so elegant, Juvia."
Juvia is, Lucy isn't. She feels deep inside, in her soul and every bone, that Juvia fits into this world perfectly. She's an integral part of it. The missing piece of a puzzle depicting the blue, blue sky. Lucy is beside her, outside the frame.
Juvia is combing her hair, giving her ornaments, choosing a dress. Finally she's admiring her perfect work, built from scratch. Her dark eyes evaluate Lucy and look in every nook and cranny of her heart. Lucy is afraid that she can see the crack hidden deep beneath the snow-white powder.
"You are beautiful, Lucy."
"Thank you."
"You will be the star of today's ball."
Yes, yes, yes, Lucy nods again and again with ease, almost getting used to it. But the grain is already in her heart and Lucy knows that it won't go away, won't disappear, won't fade. It will grow stronger and stronger until it explodes, making its way straight through her chest, leaving an empty spot on the carpet and vines wrapped around her body.
Roses bloomed.
Fireworks (stars) light up the sky, sparkling with a thousand colors. Lucy looks, but can't see. She thinks that, indeed, she can be blind, blind to the artifice, creation, human labor replacing her shining star.
Look, Lucy, at the stars, at the night sky, there is the truth.
This is better, the decision was made.
The black cape is convenient, it carefully hides her under the dark veil of this night. Petticoats and ruffles are left, like "Heartfllia" closed in a ruby box with a gold key. Only "Lucy" remains, with no past, with no position, with no name. The liabilities weigh too much, like jewels. Leaving them is a magical godsend, it's dropping a ballast. It's breathing in a light clothing with feathers.
Run, Cinderella, the ball is over, it strikes twelve.
Lucy leaves the bang of talk and the scream of music. And runs ahead, leaving behind the extraordinary ball.
"The Princess or the Pauper?" the boy asks in the dim shadows of the tall buildings, playing with pearls (stars) taken from her neck (sky).
It's the only thing I get from my house. Do I even have to leave it to be free?
"None of your business. Give it back," Lucy growls.
She reaches for the stolen necklace, but the boy disappears suddenly, evaporates like mist. Lucy isn't even surprised, some things can become normal. It is always the same. Everything is at her fingertips, so close that she can see it. But her hand is too short. She can watch the world behind the glass, nothing else.
Lucy grabs only a chilly night and emptiness of her heart, filling the air around her.
The boy is gone. He's gone, disappeared. She's gone.
(Juvia is, Lucy isn't)
"It's my mother's necklace, give it back!" she shouts desperately. Good. Lucy is surprised to learn that in her empty chest lies this dormant power which allows to want, and scream, and desire, and fight.
Maybe she is, is she?
"If this is so important to you, you shouldn't take it with you in such a place."
The boy emerges from the shadows with pearls in his hand. She's not sure, maybe it's an illusion? maybe...
He gives them back.
"I'm sorry... No, I should not apologize! Why did you steal them?! And why do you give them back?"
"I don't steal from the poorer than me."
"I'm not poor."
"You are, you just can't see it yet."
Natsu's world is gold, Lucy thinks. But it's not an expensive gold, shiny gold, costly gold - banned, contaminated, artificial. It abhors her...
This gold is beer spiced with laughter (tastes better than spices, sweeter)
This gold is a candle reflecting the shadows of dancing couples, like mirror (like fireflies, fireflies)
This gold is dust of crystal light (dances together with pairs)
"This is Lucy!" Natsu declares and immediately grabs her hand, dances to the rhythm of the falsifying violin, dancing non-waltz, non-pulse, non-thinking.
It reminds Lucy the tea color of roses. That is the most beautiful rose of all.
Natsu's hand on her hip, music, singing, the shapes blur in the swirl. The world claps to the rhythm of the non-rhythm, as if Lucy belonged to it. They were her and she was their. Lucy "is" a stranger, "is" unknown, "is" different than they are. She is true, is familiar, is at home.
This is the missing piece of the puzzle, she found them.
"You don't know me."
"You don't know me too, yet you came with me."
"Why did you bring me here?"
"You have no place to go, right? You don't want to be here?"
"I want."
"So just stay."
Just like that, of course. The existence of Natsu is golden and breathtaking.
It gives Lucy some sense.
Erza gives Lucy a dress. Erza knows, Lucy is sure. Everyone here knows that. Her skin is too delicate, her hair is too shiny, her body doesn't suit the dark corners in which they lived. She couldn't hide who she was. No, no, no...
Lucy is not wearing any clothes and she feels naked. But not because she's not dressed. No, there are many types of nudity.
Erza is different than Juvia, she has stronger hands. She also says less, Lucy notices. She checks the rough dress material almost without words, decorates hair - a red ribbon, how beautiful. Here Lucy doesn't have a big mirror on the entire wall, there is no Juvia's voice whispering Who is the most beautiful in the world, who is more beautiful? You, you Lucy.
What is it, what it isn't? Lucy is or is not here.
There is something overwhelming in Erza, power that makes Lucy cower. She feels small, unimportant, unsuited. It is hard to look into her eyes.
"Done. I knew it would fit you. It suits you."
Erza knows. But even now she doesn't say anything, just smiles. And Lucy feels that after years of living in the dark, blindfolded, she finally begins to see the world. She's not blind, no. She sees someone else, unknown (known, she was always with her). Awake.
"Beautiful."
One night Natsu and Lucy sits on the roof. She watched the stars many times before, memories go through her mind slowly, rationally. Then merge into one and disappear, it's impossible to distinguish them.
On the roof she is a level closer to the stars, sits on a soft cloud.
Lucy finally realizes that it was all just a dream, but she had a chance to get away.
Someone helped her.
"Sometimes I think I'm dead and at the same time finally came back to life."
"Who knows? It's like the question of whether a caterpillar died in a butterfly. Sometimes things exist at the same time."
Look at the stars, the stars, there you will find the answer.
Indeed, in the rain of falling stars everything is easier (maybe the sky is crying, but Lucy finally understands that those tears are the tears of happiness, they are shining too bright to be fatal).
When she kisses Natsu he looks at her in surprise, then says, "You're a strange girl, Lucy. Just like us."
"I am one of you."
She loves it.
When she comes back roses smell even stronger. They flooded the garden. Lucy doesn't remember such a strong odor. It pushes against her, absorbs her, swallows her. How many roses are in the garden? Someone planted them? Autumn is coming, why don't they wither?
"When I die you need to plant roses on my grave."
Little by little, petals fall.
"It's for your own good."
Lucy is silent. The smell of a rose is nauseous (it's beautiful, but it's too much - Lucy is tired of beauty)
"Juvia, Gajeel and your father did it for your own good. You can't blame Juvia."
She can't... - can she? Maybe, maybe not, maybe, maybe not. Lucy has in her hands a red, red rose, her heart and love, heart and hatred. Feelings change quickly, red is too intense to classify it. Lucy is strong? Is she classified?
"Don't blame Juvia. You blame, right?"
Loves me, loves me not, loves me, loves me not. She plucks the petals. They gather under her, build a throne. The soft throne of roses, too soft. Lucy collapses, sinking deeper and deeper. She knows that if she doesn't do it now she will be absorbed. Loves me - Natsu. Loves me not - ?. Loves me - Erza. Loves me not - ?. Loves me - Gray. Loves me not - ?. It's harder than she thought.
"You don't fit their world, Lucy."
Lucy's hand twitches. She looks at the red (blue, like everything in her) petal with Juvia's name. She loves her or does not love her?
"You can't go, Lucy."
"I can, Juvia."
Juvia doesn't answer, just looks at her. Her eyes in the color of the sea narrow, staring in disbelief. She looks at Lucy when she gets up. Looks when Lucy goes to the window. She stares as Lucy's hand rubs the shutter, glass. But she finally realizes because she runs, grabs her by the arm.
Juvia's fingers dig into her arm.
"Do not do stupid things, Lucy!"
"I'm sorry."
…
She jumps.
Lucy feels the pressure of the air. For a moment she feels like she is floating without falling. Juvia's face fades, the window moves away, Lucy goes down. And she is not afraid. No, she feels better than ever, the chain finally broke. Maybe even in the shelter of her... her friends, Lucy wasn't free? "Heartfillia" was heavy. But not anymore. She freed herself.
Lucy waits for the pain, but it doesn't come. Instead it is just a wave of floral scent. Lucy opens her eyes and sees around her roses. Her tiny body lies among the rose bushes, forming a soft bed for her.
So this why they smell so lovely?
My dear cousin,
Everything is fine. Don't worry about me. I'm happy. Me and Natsu. The place where we are now is beautiful. I would like to tell you more. Sometimes I miss you, but I can't go back. Because this is my home. But I remember you.
I love you,
Lucy
Juvia holds a letter in her hand. For a moment she watches the fireplace, then throws the paper into the fire. The flames dance around it until the message disappears forever.
"Was there any message from Lucy?"
"No, Juvia still has no idea what happened to her. Probably we will never know."