Why Ross has a small room. Or, R5 plays fruit basket turnover with rooms in their new house because Laura wears the pants in this family and Ross doesn't know how to say no to the tiny girl with the big brown eyes. Sucker.
When they bought the house, he was most excited about getting his own room. He was fairly tired of having to sock the knob whenever he needed some alone time with Laura. Considering that he contributed the most to the down payment, he was given first choice of bedrooms. Which suited him just fine.
He had originally claimed the loft bedroom. It fit his vibe well, he thought. The loft bedroom was what had sold him on the house. He could just picture playing guitar up there, away from the world, with Laura curled up next to him, preferably wearing a sheet and nothing else. However, reality had rudely set in when a certain tiny brunette had climbed up the ladder, looked over the edge, and proclaimed that no way, no how was she ever going to be able to give a successful blowjob, let alone have sex, when she was worried about falling over the edge of his 'room'. He had tried to convince her otherwise, using his usually effective powers of persuasion, but she had climbed back down the ladder and left him with a serious problem that clearly wasn't getting fixed anytime soon.
So Rocky had traded with him. When he approached his brother about swapping rooms, he had gotten a smirk and a look that he most definitely did not appreciate. He thought that the master bedroom would have been the solution to all of this. A big set of double doors, no ledges to fall off of, a massive closet she could put her shoes in, plenty of room in the shower… However, something about windows and being too close to the front door had set off another rant about worrying, so Rydel lucked out with the whole suite. (And so had Ellington, but that was another story.) She had also given him a look and coughed something that sounded distinctly like, "Whipped," before stealing his girlfriend away to discuss how best to organize her growing collection of booties. He wasn't sure where the tape measure had come from, but he knew better than to get in the way of Laura and a project, even without his sister involved.
The room right off the kitchen seemed ideal to him, until Rydel started cooking too often for Laura to feel comfortable. It was something stupid about not being able to let go and get loud if one of her best friends was frequently next door within earshot. She was pacing around the kitchen, with a look on her face that usually meant she was about to get passionate about something. Ross had a few ideas about what she could get passionate about. They could start with the countertop, and then move on to the bed. Or maybe the wall. But as soon as he had gotten her inside the room and started to break it in properly, Riker had started to make a sandwich and was singing something that sounded like "A Pirate's Life". Which, unfortunately, could be heard loud and clear, resulting in her pulling down her shirt and up her pants, citing that as exactly why this wouldn't work. She went off in search of another room, and Ross knew where this was going. He slipped a $50 out of his wallet and walked toward his brother with it, at which point, Riker shook his head, and muttered, "Suckerrrr," under his breath. He took the bill and grabbed the boxes he had already packed upon seeing the look on Laura's face half an hour ago, making off toward what was now his room.
And that was how Ross had ended up with the small bedroom overlooking the back of the house with the single bed. It was far enough away from most thoroughfare of house, she had reasoned, wasn't near any sort of entrance or exit, didn't have any ledges, and the walls seemed to be thicker.
The sacrifices one makes for girlfriends and sex. He was powerless to say no to those big brown eyes. He loved her too much for his own good.
He would take the tiny room in the back of the house, farthest from the post-coital munchies, without the cool balcony effect, and with far less space in the closet, if it meant she would be comfortable enough in his room to get loud. Often.
At least the view from his bedroom wasn't bad. Once you considered that it looked over the valley and had Laura wearing nothing but a sheet, it was looking pretty damn good.
-.-
Back in the den, Laura was collecting her promised cut from the remaining four bandmates in exchange for getting their desired rooms. She always was a sucker for making everyone happy. Rocky had his hideout, Ell and Rydel had their lover's suite, and Riker was near to the food. And Ross? Well, she was certain she could make Ross appreciate the room he now had. After all, he hadn't taken a private tour of the bathroom, yet.