Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Summary: We were rivals. Constantly fighting, bickering, arguing. But then, graduation approached, and I couldn't picture myself without him, even if the moron had stolen Valedictorian from me. EdwardJacob, AU, oneshot
Here's a little something new in the EdwardJacob department! I was just so inspired by all the happy reviews I got for my first attempt that I thought I'd try these two again. I do have to say that they're moving up on my list of favorite pairings to write because they're just so lovely together! Haha, anyway, please enjoy!
Yearbook
"Watch where you're going, Cullen."
I stopped in my tracks, cocking my head to the side as I brushed off my shoulder where his upper arm had smacked into me. I had planned on ignoring it, but of course, he couldn't do so.
I looked coolly up at him, my eyes betraying no hint of anything else but the traces of annoyance that I usually directed at him. I ran a hand through my hair and let a fake half-smile cross my features. "You were the one invading my space, Black."
Jacob Black, my rival and pain in the ass, narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth at me. It looked almost as if he would growl at me if he could. I grinned at the thought of a snarling, dog-version of the man in front of me, and laughed, "Alright, Fido, don't have a coronary."
"Asshole."
Geez, the guy could get really worked up. If I had to admit it to myself, I actually enjoyed making him this mad. It was quite…fun.
"Pity, and here I thought you might have actually grown up over the summer."
"Yeah, well I thought you might have at least taken the stick out of your ass!"
I cracked my knuckles casually, "Nope. Still there. And I'm still amazed at your tact."
Ah, sarcasm. My best friend.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Cullen - "
"I'm also impressed at your vocabulary."
"You - you…insufferable bastard."
"Way to prove me wrong." I clapped mockingly at him.
His fists clenched at his sides, and he leaned down to glare at me in the eyes. His eyes were dark, black, bottomless. I found a grin creasing my face, "What are you going to do? Beat me up?"
Something changed in his eyes then, something I couldn't place, and he just sighed and moved away from me. I felt my grin widening - as usual, I had won this one. But it was strange, his admittance of it. I don't know what it was, but it felt like the air was different between us, for whatever reason. He turned and started to walk away.
"I'll see you at practice." I called after him.
"Fuck you."
This…
This was the norm.
"Hey, Edward."
I looked at her - or rather, through her. Not seeing. "Bella."
She gave me a shy smile, one that she used around everyone, but when she was with me, I noticed that it was even more self-conscious than usual. She bit her plump bottom lip and breathed, "Senior year, huh?"
I noticed Jacob glaring at us from across the schoolyard out of the corner of my eye, and I gave a strange little exhalation of breath. "Yep."
"You going to the dance? The one…after the first football game?"
"Probably not."
"Oh…"
"Yeah, dances aren't really my thing."
"Me either, actually," she laughed, and I almost screamed out of frustration. "I'm awfully clumsy."
"Yeah," I pitied her a smile, "I remember."
"Yeah…"
"Well, I gotta go talk to my sister," I told her, glancing at Alice from across the seemingly infinite space between us. I had to get out of here. This was just too painfully awkward and desperate. "I'll see you later. Bye, Bella."
"Oh…uh, bye…"
I was off, without even casting a look in her direction.
The first practice was just that. Everyone was pretty out of shape, and had a hard time coping with Coach's orders. Including me. I wasn't the image of perfection every day, you know.
Jacob kept glaring at me, and I kept cheerfully ignoring him.
Ah, that routine would never get old.
The first football game of the season. The one that everyone always waits for. The first weeks of our senior year had flown by, and now it was that time. Everyone was dressed in our high school colors, shouting and cheering in the stands as they announced the team and we ran through some cheaply constructed paper barrier made by the cheerleaders.
I heard people chanting my name, as well as my other teammate's. Jacob must feel some satisfaction that his name was only the second most called. Next to mine, of course.
We huddled, and came up with a play that would start the game. We had won the coin toss, so we would have the ball first.
The game started off easily enough. We allowed them a touchdown, but then we had gotten one right back. Thanks to expert passing from the quarterback - aka me. Neither of us had scored by the time the fourth quarter came around, and it was our ball.
I shuffled my feet, eyes darting around to glance at any open men. I saw Jacob move away from his man, as open as anything I'd seen all night. I cocked back my arm, and…
Something ran into me, full force, knocking me down. My helmet tumbled from my head, and smacked into the moist grass a few feet away. It was almost like a freight train smashing into my gut, and despite the heavy padding, I felt it through to my bones.
I didn't even have time to wonder what happened, because I was unconscious within seconds.
"Hey, wait up, Eddie!"
I turned and gave him a grin that showed off my missing front teeth, "No! This is a race, Jake!"
He was leaning over, his hands on his knees, face tired and sweaty, panting, "Not…my fault you're so…damn fast…"
I laughed at him, slightly shocked, "You said a bad word!" My six year old brain couldn't even process it.
"So?" He said, looking at me with a innocent stare, "Try it."
"N-No…that's…no!"
"Oh, come on, I'm the only one here!"
I pursed my lips, contemplating, before grinning, "You'll have to catch me first, damn it!"
Jacob grinned, and then he was off again.
That time, he caught me, and then we went off to play in the sandbox.
Back when times were pure.
…
"She's cute, huh?" Jacob said idly, jabbing his thumb at the new girl. Everyone was talking about her like she was a new, shiny toy. I guessed she looked okay. She had long, wavy brown hair and a pair of doe-like brown eyes.
"Yeah, I guess." I said, shoving a piece of food in my mouth. Something about his tone made me feel slightly uneasy, but I continued anyway, "You should go for it."
Jacob jolted, looking at me like I had grown another head. He spluttered something for a moment before sighing in resignation. It was a strange reaction, and I didn't have time to ask him about it before he rose from his seat and moved to talk to the new girl…Isabella, I think.
I watched him go, ignoring the tight sensation I felt in my chest, like a snake coiled and ready to spring.
I didn't want him to "go for it."
I mean, I was his best friend, so that was perfectly natural, right? I didn't want to be left alone, right?
Right?
…
"Edward?"
I looked up from my books, glancing at Bella Swan with an indifferent look. Maybe she would go away if I kept it up.
Hell, who was I kidding, women flocked to my "indifference" like it was an invitation for them to "fix me."
She looked at me, taking a deep breath, "I don't want to date Jacob…"
I closed my book and looked at her with incredulity deep in my eyes, "I'm not Jacob. So why are you telling me?"
Her eyes set in determination, she gave a slight laugh, "Alice told me you were slightly oblivious…"
I rose from my seat, frustrated, "Listen, I - "
"I want to date you." Bella said, coming out with the truth, apparently, since her cheeks were a daring shade of red, and she was wringing her hands.
"I - "
Again, she cut me off, but this time, she used her lips. And her tongue. And her hands.
I tried not to kiss her. I tried not to want to do anything with her, but this was the first girl I'd ever done anything like this with. Yes, I was sixteen and had never been kissed or whatever. It's not as odd as you'd think.
And she wasn't such a bad kisser. She was actually rather good. She did this nice little thing with her tongue…
But then, I thought of Jacob, and I stopped, placing my hands on her shoulders. "No."
"What?"
"Jacob is my best friend. I'm sorry."
Because I care for him more than I do you. More than you could ever imagine.
"But…but I…"
"I'm sorry."
I turned and walked away, feeling disgusted with myself. Disgusted and dirty and desperately needing a shower.
I could only dread what was going to come next.
…
"Bella kissed me…and I might have kissed back…I'm so sor - "
His fist connected with my jaw.
I don't remember much after that.
I hate remembering our first actual fight.
The only thing I could remember was that I wanted him to keep hitting me. To keep wailing on me. Because I deserved it.
That pain was the only thing I deserved.
…
We weren't friends after that.
We weren't anything really.
We were no longer Eddie and Jake. Not even Edward and Jacob. It was either a harsh "Cullen" or "Black," or the ever crude "asshole" or "bastard."
We fought.
We fought because that had become familiar.
We fought because…well, I'm not even so sure anymore.
I thought he'd forgive me after a while, because we were friends. Because I cared more for him than I'd cared for anyone that wasn't a blood relative.
I supposed I was wrong.
It seemed like I had been knocked out for the longest time. The memories that the unconsciousness provided me had made me a bundle of emotions. I couldn't even remember what I had been doing until I saw the scoreboard, and that we were still tied. I saw the clock and realized that I had only been out for about thirty seconds.
I was laying on the wet grass, my helmet next to me. My head hurt something fierce, as did my abdominal area and my legs. Geez, that other team sure as hell didn't play around.
I only now registered through the hazy fog of my mind that someone was yelling. Cursing. And I heard my name, so that immediately brought me to attention. I sat up groggily, and saw…wait, I had to be seeing things because the thing that I focused on couldn't possibly be happening, right?
"What the fuck is your problem, Newton?" Jacob shouted. He looked absolutely livid, up in Mike Newton's face like he had said something about his mother.
"I-I didn't mean…I…" Mike's baby face was red with exertion, sweat dewed his brow. I had to wonder if it was from all the running or because of Jacob's interrogation.
"Don't even try to make excuses! You have a job on that field, you dumbass!" Jacob poked a finger at Mike's chest, jolting him through the heavy football pads. "Your job is to make sure that no one gets through that line and gets to the quarterback, and obviously you forgot that."
"It was an accident! I'm sorry!"
"Oh, don't give me that bullshit." Jacob wasn't taking any excuses. I guess we weren't doing too good since my little incident. "You know just as well as every-fucking-body on this team that you were paying too much attention to Jessica's ass gallivanting in her cheerleader uniform than the game. And look what that caused Edward!"
I felt my heart do a strange little fluttering thing as he used my name for the first time in two years.
"Hey, he's awake! He's not too bad!" Mike pointed at me, and I froze.
Jacob's head snapped toward me, and his tense features relaxed an infinitesimal bit. Something that only I would notice, of course. I knew everything about him of course. His eyes were thrown into a relief that almost made my breath catch in my parched throat.
I looked at the two of them and rose from my seated position on the grass. "Just because I'm fine now, doesn't mean that should justify you looking at Jessica when you should be concentrating on looking out for the team." I told him, ice in my voice. I saw Jacob flinch slightly at the inflection of my tone.
"I-I'm sorry…"
I ignored his apology and bent over, picking up my helmet and smashed it over my head, where it fit snugly. I jogged over to Jacob and said, "Thanks."
I didn't even take the time to gather his shocked reaction before I walked over to the coach and requested to be put back in the game.
Maybe there would be some solace before we had to be parted for good.
After all, graduation was this year.
The ultimate separation.
"Forks High narrowly beat Port Angeles Academy in Friday night's thrilling football game. Edward Cullen starred in the dismantlement of their defense, while Jacob Black showed his prowess in the defensive position. Cullen made the last play of the game, throwing a heart-stopping pass to Jasper Hale, who ran with it down the field, uncontested, collecting the last touchdown of the game, and sealing the win for the Forks High Spartans…"
My eyes lazily ran over the write up in the school paper the following Monday. I sighed and shoved the colored paper into my backpack as I walked to class. The author's name - Bella Swan - had caught my eye, and I swallowed back a groan. No wonder the article sounded so enthused, despite her hatred of sports.
I turned the corner and almost collided with Jacob, who also had a copy of the school's paper in his hands.
"Watch it."
"Sure."
Jacob looked startled by my lack of response, just as I was startled by his lack of venom. There was a look in his eyes that I couldn't name, and I just sighed.
"I'll kick your ass in practice."
"Sure, sure." I told him, and was momentarily shocked that I had used his phrase. Shocked at how effortlessly it had rolled off my tongue. I looked over at him with wide eyes, and he looked equally perplexed.
He scoffed, "Idiot."
Jacob turned on a heel and walked away, leaving me wondering what exactly was wrong with me.
The days passed by in a blur of schoolwork, senior projects, and strange encounters with Jacob.
Basketball season passed without hardly a confrontation, even though he was considered the star on here. I could hardly feel solace with myself that I had him beat on both the football and baseball sides of the matter, since we both played all three.
Christmas came and went, the New Year went by without hardly a harsh word between us.
Spring snuck up on us both, and baseball season started. I was the pitcher, and he usually played shortstop, because even though we were both supposed to be enemies, we worked well together like that.
I knew something was wrong when after on particularly grueling practice, Jacob came up to me, clapped me on the shoulder, and said, "We're gonna be good this year."
I felt a squandering, floundering hope that the simple words he said had a double meaning.
"Sign my yearbook!"
The dreaded yearbook whoring had begun.
There was one class that all the seniors had together, and that was when everyone had planned to bring their yearbooks to school so we would have everyone's signatures. Since, you know, this was the last year we'd all be in school together.
I sat at my desk, concentrating on the flurry of books that passed in front of my eyes. I signed my name on all of them, adding a few other words for the people that I personally knew.
Then, his book ended up at my desk.
Out of pure curiosity, I looked at the front and back covers, looking at the signatures of our various classmates.
Hey, sexy - just kidding, you dork. Because I can do that. Anyway, it's been a fucking blast being your friend through these years. I can't wait to start school together. Mayhem, here we come! - Leah Clearwater.
Leah…I didn't remember the last time I'd talked to her. I had thought she and Jacob were dating at one point, and I had actually asked her. She had only grinned at me in that mischievous way she has, and said, "Seriously? He's like my little brother. Besides, he has his eyes on someone else."
I closed my eyes at that memory before moving on and reading the other signatures.
Hey bro, I can't wait for college! I know you're gonna do good. You should try out for basketball! You'd be the next Shaq. Anyway, I'll miss hanging with you! It was always fun. Have a good one. - Emmett McCarty.
I remember the first time I met you. You helped me reach something on the highest shelf in art class, and I never really forgot that. You're always smiling, and you're such a kind person. Never lose that. - Angela Weber.
I think of you like a brother, Jake. I hope we can still be friends after everything. - Bella Swan.
What's up! I'm ready to graduate, for sure. And I know you are too. Can't wait to get on college campus and start trying to get through that mess. It ain't gonna be easy, but we can do it, of course. I wish you the best of luck, Jake! - Jasper Hale.
I smiled at these, and then started to write mine, but nothing seemed to fit. I couldn't think of anything to say to this man…this man that used to be my best friend.
I leaned over the book and started to write - something, anything, though I didn't know what…
Remember me? We used to be friends way back when. Ugh, I sound like a douche. Sorry. Anyway, I hope that we can leave this year maybe with a mutual respect for each other. Maybe something else. Maybe we can even get together and have a drink - when we come of age, of course. Maybe one day, we'll look back on this and laugh at all of the ridiculous things that have happened. But maybe…I don't know. I just would like things to at least be civil…or something. Because I care about you, Jake. Always. - Edward Cullen
I leaned back and looked in horror at what I had just written. Geez, could I get anymore desperate? I had put more feeling behind that entry than I had wanted, and it seemed like I was in love with the guy. Which I wasn't.
Right?
I felt the pen in my hand start to creak from the strain I was exerting on it, and I growled at myself.
So, instead of screaming, I scribbled a little note underneath my entry.
P.S. You're still a moron.
I watched him at baseball practice. I watched the way his strong arms would coil and uncoil as he threw the ball. I studied the way that his legs propelled him powerfully forward. I watched the sweat drip from his brow, how the perspiration clung to his choppy, short black locks.
I watched him.
I watched him, and couldn't rid the feeling of want from my body.
I got home late that night, throwing my books - yearbook included - onto the floor, where some skidded underneath the bed and others just flopped there, too heavy to do anything else but.
I fell into a deep sleep, restless and filled with dreams.
Dreams of copper skin, white teeth, and my name on his lips. Moaning and groaning and writing and pleasure and ecstasy and more, more, moremoremore.
I woke up, disgusted with myself, feeling a strange straining in my lower region.
I was hard, pressing against my baseball shorts uncomfortably. My disgust was a physical manifestation on my body, and I groaned, rolling over onto my side, about to do something that I hated more than anything.
I slid my hand underneath the band of my shorts, and wrapped it around the hardened length of my manhood. As soon as my fingers made contact with my hardness, I gasped a name.
I gasped a name almost in reflex, by instinct. I gasped a name that stunned me, and left me even more confused than the dream.
"Jacob."
"There's got to be some mistake." I said, incredulity coloring my voice.
"No," the principal said, her voice kind and patient. "There is no mistake, Mr. Cullen."
"How…how…" I opened and closed my mouth like a fish.
"Mr. Black's GPA is higher than yours, therefore, he will be the graduating class's Valedictorian. I'm sorry that you may find this unsatisfactory, but that is how things worked. You, however, have been awarded Salutatorian, and you should be proud of this accomplishment."
"Yes, of course. Thank you."
I rose from my seat like a true ice prince, and walked out of the doors. Ugh! Valedictorian had always been my goal, and now that stupid, stupid, stupid mutt was taking it away from me! I regretted ever having a dirty dream about him.
"Something wrong?" Jacob asked, his voice haughty and arrogant. He sounded kind of like me, in a way.
I turned and glared daggers at him. I saw him, and oh, he obviously knew. He knew what was wrong. He knew that he had beaten me in this, and he wasn't going to let me live it down. After years of calling him a moron, I'm sure he was about to let me have it.
"Who's the moron now, Cullen?"
"I am not sure. To me it still looks like it's you." I hissed like a snake, my eyes narrowed.
"Really now? Who's the one that got Valedictorian?" He asked with a grin. One of those face-splitting, all-encompassing grins that took my breath away when we were younger. It still had not failed at that. It had actually been so long since I'd seen him grin like that, that I almost had to grab the wall to steady myself.
"It's a mistake." I insisted, not wanting to give up any ground, despite my questionable footing with him at this moment.
"Nope, nope," he said, waggling a long finger at me. "Obviously not, or you wouldn't be looking like you're about to faint now."
"Oh, shut up."
He was staring at me with those dark, dark eyes, and all I could think of was my recent string of dreams, coupled with the anger I felt at getting snubbed for this…moron. I ran a hand through my hair, no longer feeling the cool and composed manner I tried to keep up around him. It was long gone, shattered at my feet like so many shards of glass.
"A congratulations would be nice." Jacob gloated smugly, his eyes looking me up and down.
"Really, would it now? I have no clue how you got Valedictorian, but you probably cheated, you ignorant mutt."
Jacob smiled, as if I had just called him sweetheart instead of berated him. "That's better."
I didn't even want to ask him what he meant, so I just turned on the heel of my sneaker and left, trying to ignore the sudden butterflies in my stomach that were competing with the raging lava in my veins.
Never had I felt so many emotions at once.
And it was all because of him.
"Mom, I know who I'm going to marry!" I announced as I put my stuff down in front of me. I was young in this memory, this time almost five, and I looked at my kind mother with large, innocent eyes.
"Oh, did you meet a nice girl, sweetie?" My mother replied from over a mixing bowl. Esme was always good with cooking, after all.
"Ew, no!" I scrunched up my nose, "Girls are gross!"
My mother looked at me with kind eyes, "And who exactly are you going to marry then?"
"Jake! Duh, Mom. He's best at everything, like me! And we always have fun together. He's my best friend!"
Mom laughed gently, before kneeling in front of me, "Marrying someone is a big decision, Edward. Do you love Jacob?"
"Duh." I said, my favorite "word" when I was younger.
"Well, then, I don't see anything wrong with you marrying Jacob, sweetie. But he has to want to, too." A wry tone entered my mother's voice, and she put her hands on my shoulders. There was a certain pained look to her face, as if she knew something I didn't.
"Okay! I'll ask him tomorrow!"
Mom smiled at me before giving me a hug. I returned it whole heartedly, as only a child can do.
…
"Vegeta would so beat Goku."
"What? Are you insane, Edward? Goku owns Vegeta every time!"
"Yeah, so? I've rationalized that Goku cheats."
"Just like you to like someone like Vegeta, you cynical bastard."
"Yeah, well, just like you to like someone like Goku, you optimistic cow."
"So I'm the Goku to your Vegeta?"
I looked at Jacob for the first time since the conversation started, over something random as an episode of our favorite television show, Dragon Ball Z, at the time, and I just grinned at him, tossing him a pizza roll that he caught expertly in his mouth. Our math homework lay scattered around us, unfinished and ignored.
"Eh, why not."
…
"Edward, what happened?" Alice exclaimed, looking at me like I had just gotten off of a spaceship or something equally ludicrous.
I knew my face looked like I had been put through the ringer. I felt pain through every pore in my body, every vessel, every bone, every nerve ending seemed to be on fire, panging with the hurt that my former best friend had caused.
"Bella kissed me." I told her, and I watched as her mouth twitched slightly.
"No, that looks like Bella turned into the Hulk and pummeled you." She said, looking me up and down.
"I told Jacob, and…yeah."
"Jake? Why would he…?"
"Jacob was dating Bella, and I broke the most sacred rule of bro-code." I said, slumping in a seat across from her and laughing brokenly.
"What?" Alice shrieked, alarmed, "Bella said that…she was only friends with Jacob! I would have never told her to go after you if I knew…I…I'm so sorry, Edward!"
The black haired pixie walked over to me and took my face in her hands. I winced as her tiny fingers stroked over the cuts and bruises that marred my usually flawless appearance. She leaned down so we were eye level, her blue eyes gazing into my green ones.
I felt some tears leak out of the corners of my eyes. They rolled over her pale fingers and down her forearms.
"I really fucked up, Alice."
Alice pulled me into her tiny arms, and I rested my ruined face against her shoulder, my tears rolling into her clothes, soaking the material. Only Alice would ever see me like this - so broken, so wounded, both physically and emotionally. If it were any other situation, Jake would be here as well, but no…
"You two will make up, Eddie," she reassured, squeezing me tighter. "You always do."
No.
No, we wouldn't.
Graduation rolled around faster than I thought it would. It seemed like only a matter of days, rather than weeks, that I had to work on my Salutatorian speech. Every time I sat down at my desk, I ended up thinking of Jacob, and how his role was infinitely more important than mine.
Bastard.
I ended up getting my speech done. It wasn't terribly long, but it would do. The Valedictorian's speech was the meat of the matter, after all.
I sighed as we all walked to the seats that would hold us during the ceremony. The speech in my pocket felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. I looked over at Jacob, who looked unruffled as ever. It was strange, how affable he looked, when he was about to have to give a speech in front of everyone. The Jacob I used to know hated getting up in public, despite his sunny demeanor. I guessed that he had changed in the years that I had been his enemy.
Of course, a lot of things had changed since then.
My speech went off without a hitch. I hit the right notes, the appropriate tone for a Salutatorian speech. I drew some tears, I saw, and I thought that was good. I figured that if I got them emotional, then that would make it harder for Jacob. I don't know why I thought that, but I did.
I sat down, right next to the jerk, of course, because the top of the class had to sit side by side. Then, the principal called Jacob up to the podium to give his speech before everyone got their diplomas.
I inhaled as he rose. The familiar smell of earth and woods entered my nostrils, bringing back a whole slew of memories that I didn't want to deal with at this moment.
His gait had changed so much from when we were closer. He used to be a clumsy boy, all limbs and no grace. Now, after he shot up several feet, he was almost like a dancer with the way he moved.
I could only see his back, but I knew he was smiling since several people cracked a grin automatically. Jacob's grin was just that contagious. You just had to smile with him if he so much as twitched his lips.
After a while, he started.
He was a much better public speaker than I remembered. From doing school projects and talking to the team, I remembered him as a stuttering, blathering fool, 'um'-ing and 'uh'-ing his way through a presentation. But now his words flowed effortlessly, almost like water from a faucet. He used gestures and whatnot - he had always talked with his hands. He was exuberant, optimistic, and joyful in his speech. Looking toward the future with open arms, remembering all of the things that had happened to him - good and bad. Everything was woven into his speech with expertise.
I saw several people dabbling their eyes with Kleenex, their sleeves, whatever was handy. I heard him close his speech with inspiring words that had my heart soaring.
He closed his speech with a quote from Gandhi. It was poignant and emotional, and I felt myself trying to hold back slight tears from it.
Then, the principal took the podium once more, and started to give out diplomas. Jacob was first, then me, then everyone else who had honors. Then, the other members of the class walked forward and received their diplomas.
All of it seemed like a blur of gaudy yellow robs and hats, of the principal's droning voice, of parents crying. I couldn't help but think about a few very real points Jacob had brought up in his speech.
Most importantly, one about us going our separate ways.
I couldn't help it, but the repercussions of that very statement cut me to the core. It was almost as if a red hot hand had clasped itself around my heart and squeezed. I felt the diploma in my hand, my fingers clenching around it, and it was like I was chained to the ground. Or I wanted to be.
I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing Jacob again.
Maybe I was being melodramatic, but it seemed like whatever was going to happen after graduation was permanent, almost like we were going to be on separate sides of the country. I felt like I was being suffocated by the damned collar of the robe.
We threw our hats in the air in a rain of bright, sun-colored fabric.
We had graduated.
We were done with high school, and all of its drama.
So why did I feel sad?
There was a party afterward, one that I only stayed at for about thirty minutes before I made an excuse that I was tired and left to go to the house. I didn't think I could deal with seeing Jacob again after everything, so I thought if I cut out early, I would be spared the pain.
Nope.
As soon as I stepped out of the door, Jacob was walking up the steps to Rosalie and Jasper Hale's house, where the party was held.
"Cullen," he acknowledged.
"Black," I countered, and then a strange compliment came from my lips, "good speech."
He looked visibly shocked, and then he ran a hand through his shaggy black hair, "Uh, thanks." Yes, this was uncomfortable. Niceties weren't what we were used to, especially not in the years following The Bella Incident. "Yours…yours was good, too."
I saw the flushed skin of his cheeks, and felt slightly smug that I had caused it, for whatever reason.
Nothing else was said between us, and I left to go to my car.
I needed to get home, away from all of this.
Mostly, away from him.
I flopped onto my bed, loosening the tie of my shirt after I did so. I buried my head into my pillow, and fought the urge to scream. My parents and Alice were already sleeping, so I couldn't make any noise for fear of waking them. But, oh, how I wanted to scream, to cry, to do something that I wouldn't normally.
I cracked an eye open and glanced down at the floorboards of my room. I stared at nothing in particular for a long while, until I saw the peculiar corner of a book peeking out from beneath my bed.
Out of curiosity, I reached down and grasped the book, bringing it up to my face and what I saw softened my features.
The yearbook.
I hadn't looked at it since we had the whole signing day at school. I had forgotten totally about it, to tell the truth. Now seemed like just as good a time as any to look and see what my classmates had written. See how I'd impacted their lives. Hopefully in a positive way.
I cracked the book open and saw the signatures that lined the front cover and pages leading up to the start of the actual book.
Edward, you certainly are an interesting character. I say that with as much love as I possibly can. You are a guy with some actual substance to him, and that is something I appreciate more than anything. I wish you nothing but luck. - Rosalie Hale.
Hey! What's up, Edward! Nothing much here, just writing in your yearbook! But of course, you knew that. Haha. I don't know what else to say, but I've always admired you, and I hope you do, like, the best you can in college. Much love! - Jessica Stanley.
What's up, Eddie! It's been a roller coaster of a time here at Forks, huh? It might be like a roller coaster about to crash, but it had its fun times, right? I'd like to think so. Anyway, I'll miss you. You were one of the rare, good friends I've had. Good luck in college! - Jasper Hale.
Hello, Edward. I wish you the best of luck in college. You've impacted my life in more ways than one. - Bella Swan.
Dude! Remember that time we put a bucket of water above the principal's door? And when she came in the room, she got soaked? Ah, good times. Being suspended was never more fun. Anyway, I would love to come up with some sappy, sentimental crap to say, but I've got none. Just know that you were one cool motherfucker. - Emmett McCarty.
I grinned at the entries that were there, but there was one conspicuously absent - Jacob's.
Had he taken our feud so far that he had just not signed my yearbook?
My temper flared, and I growled before flipping to the back of the book. If he hadn't at least signed his name then I would -
I paused.
Smothering the back cover of my yearbook, was Jacob's entry. It was so large, that it took up all the space there. I immediately felt bad for my short entry, even though I had no way of knowing that this was what he was going to do once my book was in his hands. Was it a bad letter? Or a good one? I couldn't even bring myself to hope the latter.
So, with trembling hands, I sat up, leaning against the headboard of my bed, and read what my ex-best friend wrote:
Edward,
Okay, this is gonna be pretty long, which is why I waited until everyone else had signed your book before I wrote in it. I couldn't really find a way to say all of this to your face - nerves, I guess. You know how bad I am with confrontation. You know how bad I am with just about everything, right? You pretty much know me like the back of your hand. Or, well, you used to. Which is the point I'm trying to make.
I just wanted to get this out in the air: I've missed being your friend. I've missed all of the good times we've had. I have missed so many things. I can't believe I've let these years since The Incident clog my judgment about you. I know you better than I know anyone, even myself, and I just let our friendship go down the drain because of something as insignificant as a girl. Of course, it didn't seem as insignificant at the time, but now it does.
I'm stubborn as a mule, you know this. So, it was incredibly hard for me to even consider coming to you and apologizing, when I had hurt you so badly, when you had hurt me so badly. And even now, thinking about it, maybe it wasn't the fact that it was her that you kissed. Maybe it was all about you. I had to admit that I was more upset about you, for some reason, and then that manifested in everything that has happened over the years.
I had no intention of ever apologizing to you, even though I wanted to. I missed your company. I missed everything about you, actually, as strange as that may sound. As ignorant as that may sound. I just can't believe we let a girl get between us like this. Especially when it wasn't her that was the issue. Even though she put some things in motion.
She put the thought in my head that…well…ugh. Fuck it, I'm just going to say it.
I love you.
There. Do what you want with that, but this has never been more apparent to me than it is right now. Like when I saw you get mowed down at the football game and you didn't get up right away? Yeah, that gave me a heart attack. I couldn't even think of you getting hurt without me wanting to tear into something - or someone. Which is why I was so harsh toward Newton. He had no right to risk your safety just because he's some damned horny teenager, and Jessica dresses like a ho.
Plus, I realized that this was the last year we'd have together, fully, and that I shouldn't waste it.
I…really can't imagine being without you every day. I mean, at school it was different, because we had interaction, but now…I don't know. I feel like such a chick right now, but I can't help it. I've never been good with expressing myself aloud, I suppose, but…yeah. This is ridiculous.
It hurts like hell when I think I can't see you everyday. When I think that we are truly going our separate ways, and not just in the teenager ways. In the truest sense of the word.
I'm rambling now, and I suppose you need your yearbook back, so I'll just leave you with this one thing.
Remember, I love you. I'll always love you.
Deal with it.
- Jacob Black
P.S. I'm not a moron.
My hands shook as I set down the book on my lap, and I felt the full force of tears break through my façade, and I let them fall. It wasn't a dramatic cry by any means, more like the dam overflowing after so much strife.
The most pathetic part was that I loved him too.
I just wasn't sure what to do with it.
I wiped my face, sniffling slightly like the pathetic schmuck I was, and looked back down at the yearbook.
On the opposite page, I saw a signature that caught my eye.
With an arrow pointing to the back cover where Jacob had let loose everything - death or glory - I saw a familiar friend's words.
You're an awesome person, Eddie, and I love you. So you better go for him, you dork. - Leah Clearwater.
Ah, the universe works in strange ways.
There was no more contemplation on my part. I shot up from my bed, leaving the open yearbook where it lay, and raced down the stairs. I grasped my keys from the counter, and then briskly ran to the door. I opened the door to face the very person I had been about to see.
Jacob stood on my porch, his hand raised as if to knock, his eyes wide as if he wasn't expecting me to appear there so suddenly.
"Edward," he breathed in shock, his eyes watching me warily. "Er, you, uh…"
Slightly taken aback by his use of my first name, I shook my head slightly, "Did you mean it? What you said?"
"I haven't said anything yet - "
"In my yearbook!" I hissed, not wanting to wake up my family with my shouting. "Did you mean it?"
He flushed, and then opened and closed his mouth, almost like a fish. "You just read it…just now?"
My eyes were wide, nostrils flaring, "Yes."
"And…"
"Did you mean it?" I snarled.
Jacob looked at me, clearly questioning my sanity. He shrugged after a while, casting a strange glow on this serious situation, "If I wrote it, then I meant it. I don't say things I don't mean."
That was all it took.
Without further warning on my part, I launched myself at him, closing the remaining distance between us. My arms wrapped around his strong shoulders and I smashed my mouth against his with such force that our teeth clinked together momentarily.
He was shocked, I could tell, but soon his mouth molded against mine as I kissed him. He was kissing me back - that was the single greatest feeling I'd experienced in a long, long time.
My hands wound in his hair as he backed me through the door, closing it behind him with his foot.
This was something that I had never actually thought would happen. I never thought that this would end up being the result of our friendship, of our feud. I never thought I would come to love him so much that I felt like I couldn't breathe. But then again, senior year was all about change, right?
It seemed so, as Jacob's hands made their way from my hair to push up the fabric of my shirt. I thought frantically of my family, slumbering in the upstairs quarters of my house, and hoped that they wouldn't find us like this.
Taking control, I turned Jacob and led him up to my bedroom, hopefully where we would be able to keep things down. I had no intention of my parents finding out that graduation also meant me becoming attracted to the same sex.
I shut the bedroom door behind us, and Jacob was looking at me with heavy lidded, lust-filled eyes. I inhaled shakily before I started toward him. Just before I could grasp his face with my hands, his larger, darker ones clenched around my wrists.
"What are we doing?" He asked, looking at me with confusion, and a bit of hurt.
"Something we should've been doing this whole time." I told him, my voice breathy and deep, huskier than it had been before.
Jacob's eyes widened, as if he were surprised by my tone of voice. Then, he shot forward and captured my mouth with his. This kiss was different than the first one we shared. This kiss was soft, sensual, loving. I felt a tingling sensation that made its way from my toes to the roots of my hair.
He wrapped his arms around me, holding me ever-so gently to his frame, before he took us backward to the bed.
He pressed me gently into the soft, messy sheets of my bed.
Clothes were shed, hands touched and explored various body parts, moans and groans and admissions of admiration penetrated the air around us.
That night, we lost ourselves in each other.
I couldn't think of a more appropriate way to end high school.
Somehow, Jacob ended up spending the night. We woke in each other's arms, tangled around each other like we had just played some perverted game of Twister. But it was nice, and I didn't mind it not one bit. I didn't even need the sheets around me, Jacob was so warm. Almost like my own personal space heater. I felt a smile curve my lips as I snuggled closer.
"Never would've taken you for a cuddler." Jacob mocked, his voice thick and rusty with sleep.
"Shut up." I told him. Yes, I know I am quite the eloquent person.
Despite his words, he wound his long, muscled arm around my waist, and I felt the lingering pains from last night's endeavor, but it was all worth it. My body felt as if it had the consistency of jelly, loose and relaxed and perfect. I was languid in his arms, and I stretched lightly, smiling when he pulled me closer.
"We're so stupid." I muttered, as his fingers gently played with strands of my hair.
He got what I meant - that we were so stupid for letting a girl get in the middle of us, cause this feud that had lasted for the longest. Even though it wasn't necessarily the girl, it was our own feelings that tripped us up. Jealousy. Betrayal. Jacob snorted, "We really are."
"But it's okay…" I told him, trailing off, feeling a moment of sappy sentimentality wash over me, "I'd be stupid with you anytime."
"Are you trying to get into my pants, Edward Cullen?" Jacob teased, and I pinched the skin of his forearm in retaliation.
"Already happened."
I felt Jacob's chuckle through my bones, into my very core, and I found myself thinking that I wouldn't mind if this happened every day for the rest of my life. Ah, teenaged youth. In love with love.
I rolled slightly, so that my head was resting on his chest. I stared out in front of me, my eyes slightly unfocused. The question that had been on my mind for the longest time came through my lips, "Where are you going to college?"
"Washington State," he said, slightly sad, and I felt my muscles lock into place.
"Same here."
"Wh-What?"
"I'm going there, too."
Well, wasn't that expected. I'd been afraid of losing him and not seeing him ever again - the thought itself was painful even now as I thought of it - and now I find out that we were, in fact, going to the same college.
Jacob's arm wrapped around me even tighter - I hadn't even thought it would be possible - and his lips touched the crown of my head.
Looks like waking in his arms every day could be a very real possibility.
"I had no clue we'd end up going to the same college."
I snorted, "You moron."
He swatted forehead just slightly, not enough to hurt. In response, I turned my face and kissed him and everything else blurred together from there.
Yes, Jacob Black might be a moron, but he's my moron.
Don't you ever forget it.
End.
Ah, this couple makes me so happy! And I'm so glad that I wrote this! This one is actually longer than my first EdwardJacob fanfic. Less graphic, but more sweet, I guess. And it's from EPOV, which makes it a lot different than if it was JPOV. Anyway, I hope that everyone enjoyed this little fic of mine! I would really love to hear your reviews on it, because the ones on my first EdwardJacob fic brought so many smiles to my face. I just want everyone to know that.
Thanks so much for reading!