The sombre music reverberated painfully around his skull as they carried her up the aisle. He followed behind, supporting his inconsolable daughter, his vision blurred by his own tears. They had been too late.

A few months ago, they had left without telling Connie – at least he had and he had lied. He had lied to Grace that it was all her Mum's idea – that Connie was happy about it. The reality was cruel. He had just taken Grace and left with her – all behind Connie's back and there hadn't even been any proper goodbyes. He had been doing what he wanted – as usual, without considering Connie at all, the woman he claimed to care for. As a result, they were thousands of miles away when it happened and now their daughter would never get to hug her Mum again. He didn't think Grace would ever forgive him.

They stared at the photo of the stunning brunette beauty on the coffin. A smiling photo of Connie Beauchamp was a rare object, but she'd always smile for Grace. Now, she would smile no more – for this was the final send-off for Grace's Mum. The woman he secretly loved – though he suspected it hadn't been a secret to her. He buried his head in his hands as the noise of Grace's sobbing, along with his own sobs, overwhelmed him.

Sam woke up suddenly sweating, the tears rolling down his face. That had been far too real. He snatched his phone from the bedside table and frantically dialled Connie's number. "Please...please...Con-"

'This is Connie Beauchamp. I'm too busy to take your call. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"Damn!" he slammed the phone down on the bed and ran his hand through his hair. Right, calm down. He thought. Think this through. Of course – it was the early hours in England and Connie's shift started at 7am – Grace had said so last night after speaking to her. Connie would be asleep. She only left her phone on if she was on-call, which didn't happen very often. One of the perks of being the boss.

He rang her phone again – deciding to leave a message, though after the beep of her answer phone, he had no idea what to say. "Connie, hi...it's Sam...er...this is a bit of an...odd request, but could you um...text me or something, please – just er...let me know that you're ok...please? Thanks...sorry...sorry to bother you."

Sam was on his feet within seconds of putting the phone back down and had his suitcase open on the bed.. He was darting around the room chucking things in it, when Grace appeared at the door rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Daddy, what are you doing? - it's the middle of the night."

"Go and pack a suitcase, darling. We have to go."

"Go where?!"

"England."

She looked puzzled. "Is...is Mum ok?"

"As far as I know."

"Then why are you being weird, Daddy? - and what about school?"

Sam flipped the lid of his case shut. "Look, I um...had a bad...dream..."

Grace stared at him. "You need Mum, because you had a nightmare...?"

He sighed and took her hand. "Gracie, I just really need to see your Mum, ok? - please don't be difficult. I'll sort school out, just...go and pack your suitcase, while I book our flight."

"Ok, Daddy."

They were on the next available flight. Grace could tell that her Dad was upset by something, but he wouldn't tell her what the dream had been about and she knew not to push the matter for the moment – maybe he'd explain when they saw her Mum. Sam kept looking at his phone nervously and seemed visibly relieved when his phone beeped with a text from Connie.

'I'm fine, Sam.'

"Who was that from?" Grace asked as he exhaled.

"Your Mum."

"Oh, what did she say?"

"She said she's fine."

Grace deliberated whether to push for more information. "Daddy, does Mum know we're going to see her?"

"Er...not exactly." He muttered vaguely.

Grace sighed and switched her i-pod back on. He obviously wasn't up for talking. He would have a lot of explaining to do when they got there...

"Sam? Grace?" Charlie exclaimed in surprise, as they arrived in the ED, dragging their cases after a long flight and subsequent taxi journey. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I don't think anyone was!" Grace giggled helpfully.

Charlie looked mystified and opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted when Sam noticed her shut-up office.

"Where's Connie?" He asked Charlie.

"But – I thought that's why you were here?" Charlie stammered.

"No, we're here because Daddy had a nightmare..." Grace told him brightly.

"Grace!" Her father warned, turning back to Charlie, before he had the chance to probe her any further. "Where's Connie?" He repeated.

"I'll er...I'll take you up." Charlie muttered as the three of them piled into the lift, cases and all. "I don't think she's gone in yet."

"Gone in?!" Sam repeated.

Charlie looked uncomfortable. "Surgery. I'm sorry Sam. I thought she'd told you."

Sam swallowed the colour draining from his face. "No. She told me she was fine."

"Of course she did." Charlie sighed as the lift doors opened and he began leading them to her room. "I'll let Connie explain what's wrong – but go easy on her, Sam. Don't be angry at her for not telling you – she hasn't had an easy time of it these past few months and it took an awful lot to get her to have any treatment. Getting her to tell anyone about it was hard enough."

Grace had been quiet up to now – listening intently. "She'll be ok, Dad – whatever it is. Mum's brilliant! She can get through anything!"

They stopped outside her room. "Jac's doing the surgery." Charlie remarked as Sam eyed the tired looking figure sat on the edge of the bed in a hospital gown, facing away from them. "Connie didn't want Jac at first – said it was too close to home. I think she felt it wouldn't be fair to ask Jac to do it when she'd mentored her, but when Jac heard she needed the surgery – she wanted to do it...Sam – she needs to stay calm, ok?" Sam nodded as Charlie opened the door. "Look Connie – you've got some visitors."

The pale woman turned her head as Grace darted past the men – her arms out-stretched. "Mummy!"

"Gently, Grace." Sam told his daughter, nervously. Even though he didn't know what was wrong, he had a slight idea now that he knew who was doing the surgery, and Connie looked a bit fragile to him – as if she might shatter if Grace hugged her to hard.

Grace slowed down and wrapped her arms gently around her Mum. "I missed you so much." She whispered.

Connie rubbed her daughter's back. "I missed you too, sweetheart." She murmured, glancing Sam, gratefully for bringing her daughter, then she looked past him at Charlie. "Thank you for not listening to me."

Charlie shook his head. "You're welcome, Connie – but actually, this wasn't me. I tried and tried but I couldn't get an answer – then they just turned up." He looked at Grace. "Shall we go and get a drink, Grace – I think your parents need to have a chat."

Grace hesitated. She didn't really want to leave her Mum. Connie stroked her back. "I'll explain everything I promise, darling – I promise, but I need to talk to your Dad first, ok?"

Grace nodded and followed Charlie out the door. "We won't be long – remember what I said, Sam." The latter reminded him, before shutting the door.

"What did he say?" Connie muttered as Sam sat next to her on the bed.

"He told me to keep you calm." Sam responded. "So, I don't know what's wrong – but if Jac Naylor's doing the surgery, I'm guessing it's your heart?"

Connie nodded. "It's a heart tumour."

"Cancer?"

"I don't know – they said from the scans it's probably malignant." She explained quietly. "I wasn't going to have the treatment. I was scared Sam – so scared, but eventually I realised that I was more scared of not having the treatment...I...I don't want Grace to know – about me being scared, I mean – please, Sam?"

"Hey, shush." He whispered hearing her voice quavering. "I won't tell Grace that – I promise. You remember when I was ill?"

"How could I forget?" She murmured.

"You were there for me, Con – and I couldn't have done it without you. You got me through it – you and Grace. - and Grace and I are going to to get you through this, ok."

Connie nodded. "There's one thing though, before they come back. I know you don't want to hear this, Sam – but I need you to promise me, just in case. If I don't come back..."

"Connie..."

"No. I need to say this. If I don't come back – promise me you'll look after her."

"Of course I will, but you're going to be fine, Con." He answered firmly.

"Thank you...I do...love...you, you know." She muttered as Grace and Charlie reappeared. It wasn't something she'd admit to under normal circumstances, but she had to say it – just this once. Just in case.

He kissed her head. "I know, Connie – I love you too."

"Did we come back too soon?" Charlie commented as he let Grace back in.

"No, perfect timing!" Sam answered as Grace sat down, waiting patiently.

Connie opened and closed her mouth – at a complete loss at how to explain the situation to her daughter without scaring her. How could she tell her that she might die from this? She glanced at Sam desperately. How did she even begin this conversation.

Sam took the cue from her. "Gracie, your Mum is quite poorly, sweetheart. Her heart isn't working properly at the moment."

"But, Jac's going to fix it?" The youngster asked hopefully.

"She's going to do her very best, darling." Sam told her.

Grace snuggled up to Connie. "Does it hurt very much, Mummy?"

"No, sweetie. I just get a bit dizzy and breathless sometimes – and I'm a bit tired – that's all."

There was a knock at the door and Jac Naylor popped her head around, dressed in her scrubs. "Oh, hello Sam – Grace. Connie, we're ready for you, ok? Is there anything else you want to ask before you go in?"

"No, I just want to get it over with. Sam – you can both stay at mine, while you're here – don't bother with a hotel."

"Ok. Thank you." He answered. "Gracie, say goodbye to your Mum for now." He squeezed Connie's shoulder comfortingly as Grace gave Connie a hug.

"You'll be ok, Mum – Jac's brilliant. I love you Mummy."

"I love you too, Gracie." She whispered.

After Connie had been wheeled away, Grace and Sam sat in the relatives room. "She'll be ok, Daddy. - Jac's the best after you and Mum!" Grace told him confidently – hugging him tightly. "She did a great job on me, didn't she – and you know, we could have both died in the crash, but we didn't."

"You could go and drop the cases off at Connie's – have a shower – to take your mind off it, Sam." Charlie suggested.

"No!" The younger man answered sharply. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap, but I'm not going anywhere, Charlie – not until she's back out."

"Ok. Do you want me to take Grace back after my shift – I can stay with her there for a bit."

"I'm not going anywhere either." Grace retorted stubbornly. "I'm not trying to be difficult, Charlie, but if Daddy's staying at the hospital – then so am I."

Sam nodded in acceptance of his daughter's decision. If she wanted to wait for news, he wasn't going to argue. He suddenly groaned. "The school – I was meant to ring the school! They don't even know she's here..."

"You haven't done that yet, Daddy?"

Sam shook his head. "I forgot. I just totally forgot – and I've got no idea what to say..." He trailed off. He just felt numb at the moment – if he was honest, he didn't really care about Grace's school.

Charlie patted his shoulder. "Give me the number, Sam – and I'll do it. You've got enough on your plate..."

Sam scrolled through his phone and handed it to Charlie. "Charlie, would you mind taking Grace to the canteen – she needs something to eat." He muttered as Charlie copied the number down and handed his phone back.

Grace opened her mouth to argue. She didn't want anything to eat and she didn't want to leave the room.

"Come on, sweetheart – Duffy's just going on a break." Charlie interjected quickly, checking his watch. "We'll go and find her – I think Daddy needs a few minutes on his own."

Sam felt bad about sending her off with Charlie, but his own feelings from the shock of the situation he'd found himself in, were threatening to take over and he couldn't let Grace see him cry. As soon as she was out of earshot, it was just too much and he was momentarily over-whelmed by his sobs. He'd been so busy trying to hold it together in front of Grace, as well as trying to support an unusually terrified Connie that he hadn't had time to think about himself until now. Now that he was alone, suddenly all his own emotions bombarded him at once and he was powerless to stop them, but. this was not his dream coming true. It was not.

In the nightmare, they had been too late. They had come to England for the funeral, but the reality was, that they had seen and spoken to Connie before she went for surgery, and risky as it was, there was nothing to suggest that she wouldn't survive.

He had to pull himself together and hold on to that.