Ok, I know I should be updating something else...but really. I had to write this.
Enjoy.
I don't own Naruto. Or Lucky Charms.
...Now that I think about it, I'm one of those people who'd rather eat the cereal than the charms...
"Itachi, you're back."
Pein looked up as Itachi calmly took out a large bowl.
He placed it into the middle of the table.
He then took out an obnoxiously Naruto-orange-bright red box from the mysterious folds of his awesome Akatsuki cloak.
He ripped it open.
Lucky Charms cereal tumbled out into the bowl.
Itachi slowly walked forward. By now, the entire Akatsuki was watching him.
He lifted a finger and pointed to a charm. An orange shooting star charm, to be exact.
"The shooting stars...are mine."
And then all hell broke loos.
If you happened to be a random ninja that was sent by your Kage to spy on the Akatsuki, you probably would've just sat there and stared for a bit.
You would be so confused that you didn't care if your enemies (kind of) were sitting next to you.
In fact, you might even become friends.
Genma glanced up from his cards.
He carefully analyzed the cards he could choose.
Kotetsu held 10, the most. Izumo wasn't far behind with an 8, while Kurotsuchi (from Iwa) had 5. Akatsuchi (also from Iwa) had 6, Temari had 4, Kankuro was irritated and had 7, and Samui, Karui, and Omoi (all from Kumo) had 5.
Strangely enough, Kirigakure hadn't sent anyone.
Genma reached his hand forward, and took a card from Kurotsuchi.
He looked at it.
And in his mind...
"FUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
"Oi, Kankuro, it's your turn."
Genma internally sighed and looked at his card.
Damn you Old Maid...
Meanwhile, in the Akatsuki hideout (which, by the way, was in a cave), hell was still breaking loose.
...
Scratch that. There wasn't any hell left to break loose, but the fight was still going.
Itachi was fiercely guarding his precious shooting star charms, and muttering something about "these will give me the power of flight!"
Pein was fighting over the heart charms (which let you bring things to life, apparently) with Kakuzu, and in the process he was constantly swinging his arm in Sasori's face, stopping him from claiming all of the blue moon charms (which apparently gave you invisibility.)
"GIVE ME! THEY LET ME TELEPORT! YOU DON'T NEED TO TELEPORT!
"NO SENPAI! THE RAINBOWS ARE MINE!"
Deidara and Tobi were fighting over the rainbow charms. Deidara because he read that they would let him teleport, and Tobi because, well, they're rainbows.
"*BLEEP* GIVE ME THE *BLEEP* *BLEEP* HOURGLASS CHARMS AND *BLEEP* HORSESHOE CHARMS YOU *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEEEEEP!" Hidan scream, grabbing wildly at Kisame.
Kisame was backing away.
"No! You get one and one only!"
"No you *BLEEP* *BLEEP*! I *BLEEP* need them for my *BLEEP* rituals!"
"Well you won't get them! I'm taking them! One for me and one for Samehada, right?"
"Hihihihi!"
Konan was slowly pulling the four-leaf-clover-hate charms towards her, and barricading a paper fort around her with deadly paper cuts just waiting to attack.
And, in the corner, all forgotten, was Zetsu.
The black half was eating the oat cereal, and the white half was eating the balloon charms.
"You think we can finally separate?"
"Maybe. I should start floating, right?"
"Yeah, since you lost at rock-paper-scissors."
"I did not! You cheated!"
"Hey, I threw all of them. I didn't use any special ones."
"But you can't throw them all!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Kankurou pounded the ground with his right hand.
In the left, there sat the card of the Old Maid.
Genma sighed in relief. He was so close to losing...but Kankurou had chosen the Old Maid, and then he had chosen the firefighter card.
Hell yeah! Thank the great ninja gods for firefighters!
And well, there's my story.
I don't even know how I got this. I mean, really. It's 2 P.M., we have no cereal in the house, and I'm sitting here watching Nichijou (which by the way is totally funny and you should totally watch it but it's on Crunchyroll under the title My Ordinary Life), and eating coconut ice, (which isn't something you should do while you have a sore throat), and wondering about what it would be like to live in Australia (Southern Hemisphere stuff).
Oh well.
...
Oh! Right! Random omake ending!
"So..." Tsunade began. She was sitting in her office, glaring at Izumo, Kotetsu, and Genma.
Far, far away, Gaara was sitting in his office, staring at Temari and Kankurou, saying the exact same thing.
"You mean to tell me..."
Far, far away from that, the Raikage sat in his office, rage-face-glaring at Samui, Karui, and Omoi.
"That instead of observing the Akatsuki..."
And far away from that, the Tsuchikage sat "grrrr"-ing at Kurotsuchi and Akatsuchi.
"You sat together..."
And the four Kages roared at once,
"AND PLAYED OLD MAID?!"
Far, far away, the Mizukage sat in her office and stared out the window.
She heard a faint "and played Old Maid?!" and smiled.
She expected hoarse throats at the Gokage Summit.