I HATE WALMART

by turtlenie

The tablet has turned all of the exhibits human, and Larry is now the landlord for an apartment full of historical figures trying to make lives for themselves. Kahmunrah, Ivan, Capone, and Napoleon used to live in an apartment together, but now that Capone and Napoleon have moved out, Kahmunrah has to get a job to help support him and Ivan. He doesn't take to it well.

Kahmunrah stormed down the Walmart aisle angrily. He couldn't believe he had let Ivan talk him into this godawful 'career'. And why Larry insisted on meddling in his life was beyond him. Kahmunrah stared down at his Walmart uniform in disgust. "I try to kill him and all his friends and he pays me back by getting this job for me." Kahmunrah came to a sudden realization as he stormed through the store. "It must be payback. He forced me into this job intentionally."

The Pharoah stopped and leaned against a shelf of soup cans. He waved his hands dramatically, ranting to no one. "He KNEW I didn't want a job, and he KNEW Ivan had been pestering me to 'contribute to the household funds'."

He pulled a face. "I was doing PERFECTLY FINE. Sure I've been running short on alcoho-"

Kahmunrah stopped. "Been running short on spending money. But I still have some priceless ancient artifacts I can sell if need be." "Not that I want to sell those...," Kahmunrah mumbled "but it would be better than THIS. The INDIGNITY."

"I cannot believe how that customer spoke to me. I am an ancient Egyptian Pharoah. I don't deserve this! You cannot treat me like this!"

"'Ohh Kahmunrah since you're human now you have to contribute to society.'"

"Ugh, sure, whatever you say, 'Guardian of Brooklyn'." He kicked a can that had fallen to the floor.

"Since de lovebirds have moved out, we do not have enough money. You must get job, I cannot support us both!" Kahmunrah quoted his friend mockingly, speaking in a perfect Russian accent.

He glared up angrily and shook his fist at the ceiling. "I HATE WALMART."