Chapter 1:
Hidan
"I remember one time when I was in the academy when What's-her-face-Sensei was training my class to control charka to climb trees and stuff. I was a failure. She told me that it would be hard to become a shinobi after that. Look at me now, bitch! I'm an Akatsuki! Ha! In your face!" Hidan shook a fist at the ceiling. "I can't believe I still remember that. It was so long ago." He chuckled. "Another thing I remember like… 7 years ago! Itachi's psychotic little brother and his boyfriend or whatever were playing some queer-ass game! Kakuzu dared me to go in and punch the Uchiha uke kid in the face. I did then they attacked. Kakuzu, that wimp, hauled ass out of there while I had to fight them off. It was easy though. Saucy or whatever used his canary thinger dinger and the Kiyuubi kid used his swirly little thing… Or whatever. I pwned ass, what's more to say?" He leaned back on two legs of his chair. "Oh! And of coarse I still remember when I met Kakuzu! That… Was one of the weirdest times of my life… It was April 27th of some year… He was just thrown out of some bar for getting in a fight and KOing like… 5 people. It was pretty funny! Of coarse, he tried to kill me cause I was laughing at him. He blew my head off and I kept laughing and cussing. He was so freaked out! I told him to sew my head back on to my body. (I didn't know he had those creepy tentically rapey things yet.) After he did, we went out for coffee. I guess you can say we're inseparable now, even though it seems like we hate each other."