Hey guys! Another one-shot, coming up! I've decided to make a series of one-shots based on my trip to Scotland. It'll be a random assortment of adventures, published as the ideas come, the Avengers have while on vacation in Scotland.
Regarding the series name, highland cows are shaggy-haired cows common in Scotland, and haggis is ground up meat stuffed in a sheep's stomach, a delicacy in Scotland (it smelled horrible, but tasted ok).
So this one is based, very loosely, on what happened on the ghost tour of Edinburgh I took. The royal mile bridge was built with a bunch of vaults underneath, which were homes for squatters and storage rooms for the buildings above. The conditions were abysmal and many died.
The dialogue that the guide says is as close as I can remember. All the stories are true.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, except my imagination. If I had awesome magic like Loki, this is how it would have went down.
"Come with me, as we descend down into Edinburgh's vaults." The guide said and opened a steel door. The ghost tour started innocently enough, the sun was still shedding light enough to keep the ghouls at bay, but now the guide was leading her group down into the bowels of the old city, away from any hopes of sun. Clint and Tony shared a 'bring it' look before descending behind the guide.
As part of their stay in Edinburgh, Bruce had suggested they do a ghost tour, as Scotland, particularly Edinburgh, is famous for them. Now, the seven superheroes joined a small group of tourists and an aptly dressed tour guide for a tour of the...other side...of Edinburgh.
It was obvious they weren't the only ones down there. Several other tours shuffled by on their way out.
"Let's all congregate by the ye olden fire escape." The guide said, followed by some chuckles from the audience. "This next room we are entering belonged to a cobbler, who's shop was right above us. He loves his trade and the objects he makes. People who come down here often say they feel something ticking at their ankle. Remember, he's only interested in your shoes. But if he sees something he likes..." The guide left that sentence hanging as she walked into the cobbler's room.
"Lame" Tony whispered to Bruce.
"Enjoy it for what it is: we're on a ghost tour in one of the most haunted cities in Europe." Bruce replied.
"They can at least make it a bit scarier." Natasha chimed in.
"And not have so many people down here at once." Clint agreed.
The group stopped in the center, the dead center, of the room. No one noticed that Loki held Tony back from the group.
"I should probably explain why I carry a candle as well as a flashlight." The guide said. "A few years ago, I was leading a group down here, and we were in this very room when the flashlight went out." Her flashlight went out. "...Actually, just like that." The guide looked surprised, but decided to go with it. "It wouldn't go back on. Then, after 15 seconds, it turned on! The next week, I was leading a group of adults, when the light turned off again. This time it was off for 5 minutes. The next week, I was leading boy scouts. When my light went out, they pulled out theirs...all went out. We waited. Five, ten, twenty minutes, and still nothing. We felt our way through the vaults in the pitch black until we found the exit. The last boy out was crying. He said that when he was walking, he heard the sound of heavy boots following him, but no one was there."
Suddenly, the sound of boots could be heard, echoing closer and closer.
The guide looked around, almost paranoid, then continued. "I told him we have the ghost of a murderer that haunts this place. He has been known to appear with big black boots on." The bootsteps echoed closer.
"Where's the exit, I want to leave." A woman said, her husband quickly agreeing.
"I saw this back in '62." An older man started. "This big googly-eyed an with a rabid face appeared in fron' a' me, chased me half way through the coal mine before-"
"Just stop!" The guide shouted. "Ladies and gentlemen, if we could just-"
"I saw something like this in Supernatural!" A teen said, excited amongst the peril. "We need to find the bones, salt them, them burn the hell out of them!"
"Really, ladies and gentlemen-"
"I SEE IT!" Thor shouted. "It's right behind our guide!" The guide screamed and turned around. A pale, dead, rotting ghost loomed over her. It opened its mouth and screamed.
Needless to say, the guide ran, along with the rest of the group and Natasha, Clint, Thor, and Steve.
Bruce rolled his eyes and approached the ghost, punching it in the diaphragm.
"Oomph." The (solid) ghost said and staggered backwards. "Bruce, you sure pack a punch."
"I save them for pricks like you." Bruce replied. The paleness faded to reveal Tony. Bruce walked up to the space next to Tony and punched it, getting the same result as he did with Tony, then laughter.
"You should have seen the looks on their faces!" The space said, then Loki materialized. "Clint screamed like an absolute girl!"
Bruce sighed and the three of them left the room and headed for the open fire escape.
Tony slapped Bruce on the back. "And that, Bruce my man, is how to do a ghost tour!"
Actually, at one point in the tour our group was in room with the door closed, and the guide told us to be quiet so when a group was passing the closed door, she opened it real quick and screamed. The group passing the door shouted and let loose a string of profanity. Our group didn't stop laughing.
Reviews requested