Jace was dreaming about something, about someone, made of light and burning like the sun. He thought it may have been the angel that brought him back, but he didn't stay asleep long enough to find out, as he was woken by a banging at his door.

He woke with a start, and went to get out of bed, only to have his door pushed open before he could even get to it. Alec tumbled through, with a worried Magnus behind him, and the Lightwood quickly ran over to his brother.

"Jace! Are you okay?"

Jace had no idea what was happening. Alec's cheeks were wet with tears, and his eyes were wide as he patted his sleep clumsy hands all over Jace's chest as if searching for damage. He managed to stutter out a reply as Alec continued to check him over.

"Yeah, I'm okay. What's happening? What's wrong?" Alec sniffed and wiped a hand over his eyes, other hand fisted into his brother's shirt.

"I just...I had a dream and... well, it was a memory but I could feelit, you were dying and it hurt so bad and then, I couldn't find you. I just needed to make sure you were still here."

Jace sighed as he shared a look with Magnus, the warlock was holding Alec's shoulder and giving the blonde an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry, he wouldn't calm down until he saw you. Alexander, darling, he's okay, see? Everything's all right now."

Alec shook his head, still patting his hands over Jace's chest, where the knife had gone through. "No, he was stabbed, he died, I felt it. It can't just be gone. I have to make sure."

Jace took hold of his parabatai's hands and tried to catch his frantic gaze. He looked so tired.

"The Angel healed me, Alec. I'm okay, it's nothing but a bad dream, now."

Alec didn't look convinced, but nodded, wiping at his eyes again as his breaths calmed down a little. But his other hand was still clutched tightly in Jace's shirt, and the blonde curled his own fingers over it because Alec clearly didn't want to leave.

"Why don't you two spend the rest of the night here. I think we could all use some more sleep, and my bed's big enough."

Magnus gave him another apologetic look as he gently pried his boyfriend's hands from the blonde's shirt. "That might be a good idea, thank you, Jace."

Alec nodded slowly, getting into the bed as Jace took one side. Magnus got in last, wrapping his arms around his angel as they faced Jace. Alec seemed to feel better with them both there, but Jace could feel his uneasiness through their bond, when the lights went out.

Alec couldn't see him in the dark, and couldn't be sure that he was safe. So, Jace gently took one of the older boy's hands and placed it on his own chest, allowing Alec to feel his heartbeat.

"I'm not going anywhere, Alec. I won't leave you, just go to sleep."

He felt so terrible for what he put his brother through, for scaring him so badly and causing him so much pain. If Alec needed a little more reassurance in order to sleep, then so be it, it was the least he could do.

The Lightwood didn't want to sleep again, didn't want to relive those bad memories, but Magnus was spooning him and patting his hair back, and Jace's heartbeat thumped reassuringly under his hand, and he slowly fell asleep.

It was better in the morning, Alec was more coherent than he had been in his terrified, half asleep, state. But he was more protective than usual.

"I don't think you really need to go, they'll be fine without you. I need you here, to finish those reports."

Jace groaned and rubbed a hand over his forehead as Alec tapped at the holo-screens, avoiding his gaze.

"I can do the reports when I get back, come on it's just a few little demons. It's nothing I haven't done before."

"No, Jace. I'm not changing my mind." And that was it. He refused to discuss it anymore, even when Jace was clearly mad.

And then there were the phone calls whenever Alec was apart from Jace for more than twenty minutes, and being checked up on during the night. It was driving him crazy, he hated being cooped up, but what was he supposed to do?

Alec refused to even talk about it, and got panicked whenever Jace tried. He was sinking back into his old ways, suffering in silence, and shutting people out when they tried to help. Jace knew it wasn't healthy, and he wanted to help his brother, but it was hard to know what to do.

Magnus said it had been awful, the way Alec had screamed when he felt Jace die, and that Alec hadn't talked to him much about it either.

Jace wanted to help, but he was growing more frustrated with each day, and it was starting to boil over.

"Alec, seriously it's just a forsaken, I can handle it. I'm not going to get killed from one little rune fuelled mundane. Anyway, you'll be with me the whole time."

That unhappy mouth scrunched up into a pout, as Alec's dark eyebrows furrowed down over his irritated gaze. "I said no, Jace. Izzy and her team have it handled, we're staying here to help train everyone about how to take down those dragon demons in case they make another appearance."

It had been almost a week already. No missions, barely anytime to himself, always being checked up on. He was so sick of it.

"I don't need to be babied! Nothing is going to happen to me, on one little mission!"

Alec's fingers curled into fists and he closed his eyes, pressing his knuckles to the table as Jace got louder.

"Jace-"

"You have to start trusting me again, it's not like I can't protect myself!"

"Please-"
Jace didn't notice the way Alec's chest was tightening, or the strain in his voice. He was too frustrated.

"It's like you don't think I can handle myself, but I can! I'm the best fighter we have and you know that, it is our duty to put our lives on the line for our cause, and that's all I want to do! It's not like anyone else is in less danger. You're going to lose me one day, Alec, and you can't stop that from happening just by keeping me out of missions!"

Alec couldn't breathe, he couldn't get that horrible memory to leave his mind. Jace dying, without him, somewhere he couldn't reach. Alec had failed, he hadn't protected his brother like he promised, he hadn't been able to stop it. And Jace was right, one day it was going to happen again.

His words came out strangled and warped, as he tried to get his hands to stop from shaking.

"I can't- Jace please, I can't do it again. I can't feel that again."

Jace's anger melted away like snow in the sun, and he quickly reached for Alec's arm as he watched those eyes scrunch closed in pain.

"Alec?"

"It hurt so bad, and I couldn't do anything. I knew I was losing you, I could feel it, and I could feel how scared you were but…there was nothing I could do to stop it. I just lay there and felt you die. And I…" He released a sob, whole body shaking as tears fell to the table in front of him, splattering across the glass.

"I can't do it again."

Jace felt the ache that Alec did, and he'd known the feeling he was describing. When Alec had almost slipped away, after trying to track him, he had felt the pain of the Parabatai bond, the way it screamed inside him. But he had been there, holding Alec, he had gotten to say goodbye, had been allowed to save him. Alec hadn't been afforded the same luxuries.

The blonde felt terrible for what he'd done. He sighed and stepped closer to his brother, wrapping his arms around Alec's neck as he let out another sob and hugged him back.

Jace's voice was a whisper against Alec's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He hadn't meant to cause him so much pain. "I had hoped that… somehow…you wouldn't feel it."

Alec gripped him tighter, as if just mentioning the pain might bring it back. Everything inside him burned with the need to protect his little brother, to make sure that nothing bad happened to him ever again. He didn't think he could survive that loss more than once.

Jace could feel that need, and held him until he'd calmed down, watching as Alec wiped at his cheeks.

"Just don't do it again, okay? You aren't good at the whole, self-preservation thing but if not for yourself, at least be careful for me." His eyes were so sincere, so desperate and vulnerable, that Jace would have agreed to anything he'd asked.

"I promise."

Of course, that hadn't been completely the end of it. Alec lengthened the leash a little, allowing Jace on missions and insisting on phone calls every few hours if they were apart, and Jace decided that if he ever wanted Alec to shill, he'd have to enlist the help of everyone's favourite warlock.

"Where are you taking me? You can't get me to stay home when you're out on missions, I don't care what you say."

Jace pushed his brother to Magnus' apartment as he laughed. "I think you might change your mind in a moment."

Alec didn't really trust Jace's innocent smile, and narrowed his eyes as the door was opened and he was shoved inside. There was music playing, something exotic that matched the mood the apartment full of candles and petals provided. And because he was Alec, he was instantly suspicious.

"What is this?"

Jace laughed once more before biting his lip and trying to compose himself. He stood Alec in the doorway of his and Magnus' bedroom and straightened his parabatai's shirt before taking the door handle.

"You have two choices. You can either follow me on this easy mission and continue to be all overprotective, or…" He pulled the door open, being careful to stay behind the wall, and therefore unable to see, as he revealed the surprise to Alec.

He knew when Alec saw it because his eyes went wide as he'd ever seen them, and his cheeks burned red as he quickly flung a hand out to cover Jace's eyes.

It was a lovely sight, and the warlock purred out a greeting from his spot on the bed. "Hello, Alexander, darling."

Their bed was covered in silk and petals, with a half-naked Magnus lounging among them. He was practically glowing in the candlelight, with his dark eyes and sly smile. God, he was gorgeous.

Jace laughed as Alec kept his hand firmly over his eyes. "You can either follow me on the mission or you can stay here and have sex with your boyfriend. So, what do you say? Are you going to keep babying me?"

Jace could hear the smile in Alec's voice as he stuttered out a reply. "You go, I'm…I'm definitely going to stay here. Forever."

Magnus let out a pleased titter, footsteps soft on the carpet as he came to take Alec's hand and pull him into their bedroom. Jace made sure the door was closed before he opened his eyes, calling out to the two as he left.

"Have fun!"

He was about to leave when Alec's voice called through the door. "Be careful! And watch your back, make sure you call me if anything happens and call me once you're home so I know you're safe and-"

"Alec!"