Disclaimer: I don't own D Gray Man nor their characters.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. That attack, from the Earl, was supposed to be meant for me. But then, that stupid moyashi just got in the way. Risking his precious life for me.
I saw it, in front of my eyes. He just had to interfere! Blood gushed out from his body, and I couldn't do anything to save him. Damn moyashi, I wished that he doesn't have that personality, self-sacrifice. The thing I hate the most about him.
Before I realize it, tears were streaming down my eyes. Even I was shocked because I never cried for years. Usually when it was someone else, I would never cry. But this is different, this is the man I love, and I could do nothing as his life is being taken slowly right in front of me.
Komui assigned me and Allen on another mission, because this place is said to have a strange phenomena occurring and that it could have the innocence. But none of that mattered to me anymore, because I can feel my life also being drained slowly. If only that damn Millennium Earl hadn't appeared of nowhere.
"ALLEN!" I screamed loudly.
He turned his face towards me and just simply smiled. "Sorry. I couldn't watch you being killed by him."
I ran quickly to him and caught him before falling to the ground. Tears have been streaming down from my eyes for a while. The Earl was already gone, like he just vanished suddenly. It was at that time that I hate the Earl so much.
"You look weak crying just because I'm dying. I thought you were not the one who would show emotions. I mean, you're so cold, even to me. When I'm gone, I sure will miss the times when we fought. Just don't forget me." Allen giggled a little.
"Stupid Moyashi." I said softly.
"Name's Allen. I won't forgive you if you say that again." He pouted.
I hugged him as hard as I could. "Allen, you're not going to die. I will get help from the medical team."
He just laughed again. "It's no use, Kanda."
Allen pushed Kanda off of him slowly and looked at his eyes. "I'm gonna say something before I die, and you may not like it. But that's the truth."
He took a deep breath. "I love you." He kissed my lips passionately. I was too shocked to move, because I felt the same way. If only I confessed to him earlier, if only I hadn't been so afraid of being rejected then I would have made love with him and spent the time together.
But that's impossible, because when he pulled away, he has no life anymore. His life was gone.
"Oi Moyashi. Stop joking around or I will kill you." I shook him as hard as I could. But right then, I knew he wasn't joking. Because, his face is getting paler and I can't sense any heartbeat. My eyes widened. Is this what they call fate? Is this meant to happen? Or is Hevlaska wrong about Allen being the destroyer of time? Is the Earl impossible to be defeated? Because if what Hevlaska said is true then Allen wouldn't die with this, not before he defeated the Earl.
I wished I could rewind time. No, it's more like I wanted this to be just a horrible nightmare that would end when I wake up and then Allen would still be alive.
That's not possible though, because in dreams, you don't feel like dying. You don't feel like your life is slowly being drained, you don't feel like you're actually already dying inside, you don't feel the pain in your heart, and that's exactly what I'm feeling.
I blamed myself for this, for being so weak. But the most important thing of all was that I wasn't able to say that I love him too.