Description: Happening after the Attack on Gorilla/Central City. Julian sees something he wished he hadn't.
AN: This might be more than my usual dirty and not because of the smut itself, but because of a certain party peaking. See for yourself! And if you hate Julian, this is definitely for you!
Ever since they'd come back from their rescue mission in Gorilla City on Earth Two, Julian noticed that Caitlin clearly lacked focus. At first he was sure it was because of Killer Frost, but once he tried talking to her about having to use her powers in order for them all to escape, she didn't even seem to hear him, just staring at something in the distance, not paying attention at all, her lower lip trapped between her teeth, making for a very tantalizing sight.
"Julian… I… I'm sorry, can we do this later?" she eventually asked and moved purposefully towards Cisco. "What do you mean Harry's leaving already?" she asked her best friend with a frown.
"Yeah. He's just gone off to pack and said to meet him later in the breach room," Cisco informed with a shrug. "Didn't you know?
"No. I certainly did not," Caitlin murmured under her breath, realizing that Harry's leaving was by now a common knowledge and everyone seemed to know where he wanted to say goodbye. Everyone except her. And she would have none of it. Blind fury took control over her body as she left Cisco and then the cortex, directing herself straight to Harrison's room, just about done with his recent strange moods. She truly thought they was closer than this! She'd saved his life for God's sake and he'd risked his own for her! They were friends and… and maybe even something more, but she never let herself go there just because it was too complicated and he lived on a different earth. Right now none of that seemed to matter anymore, though. She just wanted to know what was wrong and why he was treating her the way he did. Her heart still ached when she recalled the moment she'd seen him alive and quite all right back in Gorilla City. Well, at least until he turned out to be Grodd, that was.
And there it was again, she thought when going straight to the lab he'd taken as his own after not finding him in his room, the bag already packed; she felt that familiar pang in her chest on seeing him tinkering with something.
"I can't believe you weren't even gonna say goodbye!" she erupted the moment she spotted him and he stilled.
Eventually, she saw him putting the device he was working on away and turning to face her, his hands in the pockets of his black jeans.
"Snow," he said her name with a nod.
"Why do you insist on calling me by my last name anyway?" she asked another question, the first one still remaining unanswered.
"Caitlin, then," he corrected, though her name sounded differently in his mouth and maybe that was exactly why.
"Just answer my question, Harry, please," she encouraged him, already feeling tired with this situation. "Why are you avoiding me?"
"I think those are three questions," he pointed out and she really had the urge to just strangle him.
"Harry, please, don't play games with me, ok? Everyone seems to know that you're… that you're leaving," she hated pausing on that one as those words just didn't want to escape her throat, leaving it actually sore. Because she didn't want him to go, damn it! "Everyone seems to know when but me."
"Well, technically, I haven't told Indiana either."
"Really? Is that how you want to play it? Harry, I am tired of this! Just tell me what's wrong!" she raised her voice, realizing that she'd been yelling at him a lot while they talked recently. Well, ok, the last time he'd visited was months ago, but here she was, right back to screaming. And he refused to scream at her back and she didn't even know why. In fact, he just now raised a hand to his head to run it through his curls and she wanted to groan because his hair always seemed so soft that she wanted to do it herself.
"I… you… Ah," he eventually sighed, messing the curls even more. "We can't talk about this, Snow. We just can't." He started off towards the door and simply walked right past her.
"No!" She turned on her feet. "Don't you walk away from me! I want to know what's going on now! The truth, Harry! I can't stand this situation any longer! I can't stand you just pushing me away like this! I thought we were closer than this!"
Another sighed followed as he came to a stop, but his back was still turned on her.
She reached out a placed her hand on his shoulder from behind, immediately feeling him tense up underneath her touch.
"Whatever it is," she then said in a quiet voice, "you can tell me, ok? You don't have to be afraid. Not with me. I… Harry, I…" her voice got stuck in her throat again. No, she just couldn't say it first, after all, damn it!
"Snow… Caitlin," there it was again, that intimate note in his voice when he said her name. He just couldn't seem to help it and it was actually hope for her. It was everything. It meant she wasn't reading things wrong, that he'd really pulled away from her in some stupid conviction that he either didn't deserve her or she deserved better. "What am I supposed to do?" he finally asked in a defeated voice when facing her, the expression on his face vulnerable, his blue eyes piercing, the look in them so troubled and yet so meaningful.
"Whatever you want," she encouraged him and suddenly, his hands were on her face as he reached for her and then his lips came crashing down against her own.
Julian was looking for Caitlin, determined to get to the bottom of what was wrong, determined to be of help to her. He liked her way too much to just let it go like this.
She didn't come back to the cortex and she wasn't in her lab either, so he just took up walking down the corridors of the building, hoping to maybe run into her.
And that was when he walk in on that.
It was the strange noises that attacked his attention and the crash he heard like something falling, so he moved to the door and peak inside, discovering it being slightly ajar.
What he saw shocked him to the bones and he froze, not able to take his eyes away from the scene playing out in front of him, yet knowing how wrong it was to watch.
He saw Caitlin and Wells from Earth Two, fucking on the desk. They were both naked, Caitlin sitting on the furniture whereas Harrison was standing…
Julian's eyes opened widely, looking past the back of the naked man, who was just now moving inside Caitlin, to the woman herself. He knew what he was doing was terribly wrong, but he just couldn't look away, couldn't take his eyes off of her, realizing that she could never be with him like this, because her heart was apparently already taken by someone else. And he seemed to know it deep inside all along. Ever since he'd met the woman he'd felt like there was a part of her missing, as though she'd already given her heart and soul to another man despite her still being single and now he finally got his answer. Maybe he wished he hadn't.
This hurt him more than he could possibly admit - this knowledge, this proof that she could never desire him the way she desired that older man. Just now her face started contorting in the deepest of pleasures, something he shouldn't be privy to watch, yet he couldn't stop, wishing for what he now knew he could never have. Something that would never happen because it wasn't meant to be. Her hold on Wells tightened as she called his name over and over again, urging him to go faster, her whole body clinging to his, leaving no room between them, her nails crawling at his back, both their powerful groans and whimpers being released from their throats as they came nearly in synch.
Julian finally woke up and jerked back, making a hasty retreat, still managing to catch the pair just now staying in their embrace, not to willing to let go of each other even when the act of sex itself was over and somehow that was even worse. Because this meant intimacy. This meant feelings.
Julian felt sick, sweat breaking all over his body. He needed to leave. Now.
He then bumped into Cisco and the guy just asked, "Have you seen Cait? Or Harry? He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, right? And the both of them didn't make it to the breach room…"
"I don't think he will actually be leaving, Cisco," Julian found himself saying, "but most certainly, I am," he added, making a straight line for the elevators, so desperate to get out of this building and get some fresh air.
AN: Oh my, I really overdid it this time, right? Are you all right? Did I ruin you for life? It just bothered me that Caitlin didn't say goodbye to Harry in that episode ;/