BPOV

Today's just another day I have to attempt living through, joy. I sat in my seat at the kitchen table eating my breakfast next to Edward and sighed. I promised Angela that I'd go over to her house today so we could spend the day together before we go off to "college." Angela decided to go to college in California; she says that the sunny weather will be a nice change.

My supposed plans, on the other hand, for college, were to, in reality, become a vampire and spend the rest of my days with Edward, but to everyone else my plans were to go to college at the University of Alaska with Edward. Which, all in all, I could care less about which story I was actually going to follow, as long as it included Edward and me together.

I'm supposed to go to Angela's house at around 10am, so that means I have about two hours to spend with Edward today. I groaned.

Edward picked up on the groan and questioned me wearily, because he knew it had to do with him whenever I'd sigh and then moan within a few seconds.

Edward sighed "What is it this time?"

I stirred my spoon around in my cereal, "It's just that, practically this entire day I'll be with Angela."

"And what's so wrong with that?"

His question was completely irrelevant, considering the fact that he knows EXACTLY what's wrong with that! I glared at him for making me explain my reasoning out loud, "The fact that I won't be with YOU all day!"

"Honestly Bella, am I really worth spending ALL of your time with?"

That question hurt me; it struck me as if he didn't even know how infinite my love for him was! I didn't know how to respond to something as blatant as that.

He noticed that he struck a chord with that one, "I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean it quite so literally." He stroked my cheek with his fingertips, then tilted my chin up to look at him, "I know I shouldn't be repulsed by myself as I am, but I just can't help it sometimes. It's not that I'm not aware of the way you feel when I'm gone-believe me Jacob showed me my fair share- but knowing the monster that I am, it makes it quite hard to fathom anything-rather anyone-that could ever crave my company. It may sound silly to you, but Bella, believe me when I say, I may not be worth anything to myself, but to know that the one I love cares for me as much as I do for her, that's enough, isn't it?"

How could any "creature" with such a high magnitude of compassion, think that poorly of themselves? If anything was "unfathomable" it was the way he regarded himself! And he says I don't see myself clearly?

I just realized that Edward was still holding onto my face waiting for a reply. I couldn't respond; I was being repressed by tears.

He shifted his other hand to my face to wipe away my tears, when I remembered why we were having this conversation in the first place. I jumped up out of my seat and tried to find a clock somewhere. Edward sat still waiting for my panic attack to steady. He cracked a smile and held out his wrist. I grabbed his wrist, looked at the time, and sighed. I only had a few minutes to get over to Angela's house. Edward redirected my wrist grab, so that he was holding mine. He pulled me into his lap and kissed me. A few seconds after that, he still hadn't let go of my wrist. He dragged me out to the Volvo and sat me in the passenger side.

"I would like to escort you, if you wouldn't mind ma'am." He winked at me.

"Why, yes of course sir." I smiled and batted my eyelashes.

With that, we were off. Lately, I've become used to his maniac driving, even when he goes over 120mph.