Author's Note: Okay, enough romance. COMEDY TIME IS NOW!!! My first attempt at a comedy fic. I hope you liketh this.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but Divix.
Dimentio's Ranting Castle
Somewhere in Castle Bleck
Dimentio: wakes up and gets out of bed and stretches his um...hands Ah what a truly scary morning. People are dying, the sky is flashing with lightning, and the castle looks as hideous as ever. Just the way I like it.
Mimi: Dimentio, your new show starts in five minutes.
Dimentio: WHAT?! What time is it?
Mimi: 7:25 pm.
Dimentio: Damn...wait a minute, how do we know what time it is if it's always darker than an emo?
Mimi: There's a clock right next to you.
Dimentio: looks to his left I don't remember that being there.
Mimi: Well, you did get heavily wasted during that crazy party you threw last night.
Dimentio: Christ and a half! Well, what else happened?
Mimi: turns around and blushes...Some things are better left unsaid.
Dimentio: oO; --;Good idea. Well...warps through dimensions and reappears fully dressedLet's get it started!
Dimentio: warps into Castle Bleck's main chamber Ahahahahahaha! I welcome you like a waiting female gorilla during mating season.
Audience: vomits
Dimentio: Aw SCREW YOU! That was funny!
Audience: Boo, you suck!
Howz Shop Keeper: SHUT THE beep UP!
Audience: ...
HSK: Who wants badges?!?!?!?
Dimentio: grabs microphone and yells NO ONE WANTS YOUR GODDAMN BADGES!!!!!!!!
HSK: ...
Audience: ...
Dimentio: ...
Mimi: Perhaps we should just get on with it, Dimentio.
Dimentio: Of course. takes deep breath On this show we will feature random people from our universes to rant about their adorably hopeless lives and unsolvable problems. Here is how it goes down...five hours later...and that's how it works.
Audience: Zzzz
Dimentio: ...WAKE UP! Geez, you people are about as boring as Count Bleck during his speeches.
Count Bleck: You're one to talk, Dimentio. Count Bleck's speeches don't last five hours!
Dimentio:( Who let him in here?
Mimi: whistles innocently
Dimentio: Mimi, I'll get you. turns to audience Anyway, let's see who our first ranter is...someone named crybabycount.
Count Bleck: That would be Count Bleck. flips and appears on stage Bleh heh heh!
Dimentio: sighs miserably Just get on with it.
Count Bleck: Very well. grabs microphone from Dimentio Ahem, what is up with minions these days? Half of them always die and never get the job done!
Bowser and Grodus: Yeah! What's up with that?
Count Bleck: I mean, what is so hard about getting one friggin item? For them it's like an idiot mouse trying to get cheese on the other side of buzzsaws, lasers, guillotines, and death pendulums.
Ms. Mowz: Ex-CUSE me, wise guy?! How dare you!
Count Bleck: And as for assassinations, that's where it falls further down hill. The assassins are the ones that get assassinated, not the "to be assassinated". What the hell, man? I gave one of my minions invincibility and she still lost! That is just pathetic!
Mimi: HEY!
Count Bleck: Which just goes to show once and for all, that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. Thank you.
Audience: applaudes like hell with Bowser and Grdus being the loudest
Dimentio: And that's Count Bleck, aka he who wanted to kill us all because he lost his girlfriend. What a baby! shakes head
Count Bleck: turns around and walks toward Dimentio menacingly
Dimentio: starts backing away Err...and that's all the time we have for today people, now I'm going back to Dimension D before this guy kills me! warps to Dimension D
Count Bleck: You can't hide from Count Bleck, Kefka ripoff! follows Dimentio to Dimension D
Mimi: ...I guess I'm the only one left. Well, any questions?
Mario: Who's Kefka?
Kefka: The ender of all life! The master of disaster! Mwee hee hee hee!
Beldam: HEY! That's MY laugh!
Divix: I'm only here to back up the disclaimer. That and laugh at these idiots!
Mimi: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tranforms into spider form WHO WANTS TO MESS WITH ME?!
Audience: sits down and shuts up
Mimi: returns to non scary form Oh well...Next time, we hear the rants of...goombagirlwithabnormallylargemouth.
Goombella: HEY!
Mimi: I didn't write this junk. It was our boss.
Goombella: Alright, where is this tough guy? turns around and notices giant baby
Junior: in demonic voice MAMA!
Mimi: That would be him.
Goombella: nervously And why the heck is a giant baby your boss?
Mimi: I lost a bet and had to chose between changing his diapers or making him our boss. I chose our boss, becuase there is no friggin way I'm touching that thing's diaper. starts to get sick
Goombella: How does he write?
Junior: glares at Goombella
Goombella: I'll be a good girl. sits down
Mimi: Alright Junior, go play with your Deaddy bear now.
Junior: Deaddy! wobbles away
Dimentio: returns with briuses and a black eye Okay, after getting my ass handed to me, I just want to say thank you for coming here. And sorry for making my speech longer than the journey through Bowser's Castle, the Palace of Shadow, and Castle Bleck combined. Anyway, I will decide who will be next up to rant about their pathetic lives.
Mimi: gives Dimentio the cardHere you go!
Dimentio: ...We're hosting a goomba...swell.
Goombella: You got some beef against goombas, pal?
Dimentio: And so I leave, like a house cat with ideas of running away. warps
Goombella: What an idiot...sits down
Mimi: strikes a flirty pose So, who wants to take Mimikins on a little date, boys? 3
Every guy in the audience: SHE'S MINE! many people end up beaten to a pulp
Doopliss: flies onto the stage Hey, Mimi!
Mimi: Well, I guess since no one else is here, you're the lucky guy.
Doopliss: YES!
Mimi: So long everyone. grabs Doopliss and they go somewhere...private
Author's note: So what ja think? Please tell me you liked it, otherwise Junior will kill me!
Junior: MAMA! wobbles towards me
Me: Get the hell away from me you ugly son of a bitch! fires RPG and runs Read and Review! runs like hell