A/N: Hey there readers! I absolutely love the Big Hero 6 movie and the pairing of Tadashi x GoGo. I somehow got it in my brain that they had feelings for each other and each time I watch the movie the feelings get stronger. So, I thought I would write my own little tidbit of the pairing. During one of my many viewings of this film I was inspired by the song I hate you, I love you by g'nash. I don't know why but I thought the tone of the song went well with the pairing. I tried to keep each section different but also similar.
Enjoy.
Warning: There is like a little bit of swearing.. just in case you are offended those kind of words. (Just trying to be safe here.)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. all belong to their respective owners. In no way is the author associated with the owners or creators. No copyright infringement is intended.
She hated him.
Like she really, really hated him. The worst part is, he has never actually done anything to her. Nothing. Zip. Nada. She had absolutely positively no reason whatsoever to dislike him so much but at the same time there is so much that she loathed about him.
She hated the way he would strut into the nerd lab. Always wearing the same stupid hat, any of his infinite amount of cardigans or those long sleeve shirts that hugged the body, essentially flaunting how psychically fit he was. He always grinned and greeted everyone cheerfully. Who was that happy in the morning anyways?
She hated how attractive he was and that he didn't even realize it. How could he not realize the amount of women swooning over him? Not only the women at San Fransokyo Institute of Technology but even in public when their group of five would go out in public. It was sickening. Just because he had those gentle deep brown eyes that would make any girl melt on the spot. That jarring, comforting smile. A chiselled jaw that could cut through glass or as previously mentioned his astounding lean but muscular body. However, most importantly he's nice to everyone, causing everyone to get to know him. It was completely agitating.
She hated the way he would react upon her catching him staring at her with those said addictive orbs. Sometimes he would look away far too quickly and obviously that she could see the blush forming on his cheeks. Other times he would be bold enough to give her a little smirk and she swore she would catch his eyes wondering her form. The worst part about that was that she could feel the heat forming on her own cheeks when he did that. She would shake her head vigorously trying to escape the type of thoughts that made her own eyes wonder up and down his lithe body. Woman Up! She would remind herself. She absolutely refused to become one of those tooty-fruity girls who launch themselves at any piece of meat that walked past them. She hated that he had that kind of effect on her.
She hated how often they were alone in the laboratory. It was usually during the late hours of the evening or the wee hours of the morning. It wasn't like the other students weren't dedicated to their projects but somehow they always managed to lose track of time. And somehow they would end up spending a lot of time together. Although she would never admit it out loud she did enjoy these times when she had him all to herself.
She hated how nice he was towards her. Not like how others were nice but it was the little things he did for her. Sometimes after a long night trying perfect the speed on her electromagnetic-suspended wheels bike that she would pass out at her desk. In her defense, she only wanted to rest her eyes but sleep usually took over. When she would wake up the next morning she would find a highly familiar gray overcoat placed around her shoulders. Sometimes there would be coffee placed at her desk. Surprisingly, it would always still be warm. She even remembered this one day when she was out of chewing gum. She ranted her frustrations about the last piece and then magically a pack of her favorite kind sat on top of her desk. She could feel the smile forming on her face. Damn. She hated that she knew it was him. It was always him.
She mainly hated herself for hating him. She hated how she wanted to run her hands through his often tussled raven locks. She hated that she obviously tried to ignore him during outings with the others because she was too embarrassed to be caught blushing from his smile or his melodic laughter. She hated how sometimes he would be the last thing she thought about at night and the first thing in the morning. She hated that she couldn't get enough of him.
She hated how much she actually depended on him. Even the strongest of people have those moments when they feel absolutely numb on the inside. She hated that he was the first one she thought to call. She hated that he always came. She hated how he could always make her laugh, even in her darkest moments with stories that usually started with how troublesome his little brother could be or something that his eccentric aunt said or did or both. She hated when he would rub circles into her back and that she would melt into his touch. Even after she was calm, she always expected him to leave but he would pull her closer instead. She hated herself for snuggling into his warmth to which he would respond by pulling her in even closer, if at all humanly possible. He would always be there in the mornings to make sure she was ok in the aftermath. She hated how much he cared.
She hated that she would get jealous. Of Honey Lemon of all people! Her best friend, well, self-proclaimed best friend but she learned to love her anyways. Now Honey Lemon is a ball of sunshine, literally. She wears yellow at least 83% of the time. She's always so happy. Is it even possible to be that happy all the time? After all Honey Lemon's mouth is practically glued in an upwards position. She is smart, friendly, approachable and very loving. Anyone would, could, should fall in love with her. Honey Lemon is amazing. She hated that she was jealous of her best friend.
She hated the sickly feeling she got in her stomach when Honey Lemon threw herself, like seriously tossed herself at him. She hated how touchy they could be. She hated that Honey Lemon knew so much about him. She hated watching Honey Lemon go through the door that led to his lab. She hated that she timed the length of each visit. She hated that there was this pang in her heart every time he offered Honey Lemon a ride home on his cherry red moped. She really, really hated that she was jealous when she had no reason to be.
She hated how badly she wanted him. She hated how she couldn't follow her own mantra. She should just woman up. Like seriously. She hated to think that their friendship could be severed if he didn't return her feelings. Why would he? This is why she hated that he was nice. This is why she hated how overly friendly Honey Lemon was with him. This is why she hated depending on him. This is why she hated being alone with him. This is why she cursed his insanely good-looks. For the first time in forever, Gogo Tomago was afraid. Afraid of losing one of the most important people in her life. Of course she would never admit this to him. She had to keep up her stoic, sarcastic self at the university.
She hated that she couldn't talk to another guy without thinking about him. She would become disappointed that it wasn't actually him that she tried to flirt with at the café or the other male students in and out of the laboratory. She hated that she knew that she stood zero chance against sweet Honey Lemon. She hated she couldn't be the girl she thought he needed.
But most of all… GoGo Tomago hated that she was absolutely, positively, crazy in love with Tadashi Hamada.
He loved her.
He absolutely fell head over heels for her. Although it wasn't one of those magical moments where he fell for her in at the exact moment they first laid eyes on each other like in the movies but it was a gradual thing. But boy did he gradually fall hard.
He loved her attitude. In other words, he thought she was absolutely bad-ass. From her short, scruffy-raven hair with that rebellious streak of purple in it. The hard stare from her brown eyes that could make his heart stop. To her leather jacket and matching gloves. To her personality, to her electromagnetically-suspended wheeled bike. She was just so, different but true to herself. He loved that about her.
He loved that she was stubborn. He loved that she would argue anyone who tried to prove her wrong. He loved how she would continuously work out a problem, no matter how annoyed she would get. He loved her passion for her work. He especially loved when she would get excited about something. He loved that she was not afraid to express herself in such ways.
He loved the popping noise of her gum. He always knew when she was concentrating hard on something because she would spit out her chewing gum on a flat surface, only to resume chewing on it later when she solved the problem. It was fascinating to watch the wheels turn in her head. He loved her creativity, it was astounding and never failed to impress him each time.
He loved her sarcasm. He once read an article online that people use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. But not her. It was her native language. He loved that teasing tone that oozed from her lips. The gentle roll of her eyes, mostly caused by Fred's casual nonchalant enthusiastic attitude. No one is quite sure how he got into the school in the first place but no one really cared since he was so nice. Fred was particularly interested in science… although science fiction is more accurate. However, that gentle eye-roll would always cause her to end up staring at him. Maybe it was because he was always leaning against the blue counters in her space so she would look at him. However, neither of them could resist laughing at some of Fred's ideas. He loved her laugh.
He loved that she was basically playing hard to get. He noticed when she would purposely try to avoid him. He noticed that blush on her cheeks when their eyes would meet from across the room, or table or when he would just casually leaning on the counters in her workspace. Realistically though, when was he not trying to catch glimpses of her? It was fortunate that his own lab was behind a separate door or else he would never get any work done.
He loved that tint of jealousy he could detect in her eyes… but only sometimes. He would normally have to look very hard. It was most evident when Honey Lemon was around him. The girls couldn't be any more different, like night and day. Yet, as the only girls within their close nit group of people they had a rather different bond. Now, Honey Lemon was a talkative girl. Not that he minded entirely because she was always invested in knowing about his personal life. However, his eyes would always drift to the raven-purple streaked girl. That's when he would see it. That flair of jealousy. When the tall blond girl would throw herself onto him. He would smirk to himself. It was a weird satisfaction knowing that she was jealous. It meant she cared and he loved knowing that.
He loved to surprise her. After all, university is hard and can be physically exhausting. It all started one morning when he came in a little earlier than normal. He noticed her hunched over her desk, completely and utterly drained. Without a second thought he took off his grey overcoat and placed it over her shoulders. He brushed some of her hair that covered her face. She's so beautiful, as per usual. From then on he would try and surprise her by placing coffee at her desk before she would wake up after one of those type of nights. Once he even surprised her with her favorite kind of gum when she ran out. He tried to leave it all anonymously but she was smart. She did catch on but it was worth it. She would eventually come to smile at his gestures along with an eye roll and shaking of the head. He loved it.
He loved those times when they were left alone in the laboratory. It would be those times when they were both working late in their labs but somehow they would end up together. He remembered the one time when he accidently created a power outage at the school. He heard her yell "Hey Hamada! What's the big idea? What are you doing?" It was pitch dark in the lab and their only source of lights were their flashlights. However, the pair worked together to fix the lights but ended up talking until sunrise. He loved that memory.
He loved that she was independent. He knew she could take of herself but that didn't mean he didn't want to take care of her. He didn't understand why she always call him but he would never question it. He would always be there to distract her from all of her worries. He would tell her stories of the shenanigans of his brainy younger brother. How even though Hiro graduated high school at thirteen, he spent most of his time building bots and he has the nerve to call their school the "nerd lab." Hiro is basically just as nerdy as the rest of them. He loved that his stories could make her laugh. Even when she was in a distraught phase. He loved that she could let her guard down around him, it meant she trusted him and he would never break that trust.
He loved those nights when they would lose track of time just talking. He loved those moments when she started to nod off. He could always feel her head hovering over his shoulder. He tried to be stealthy as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders practically forcing her to cuddle into him. He loved it when she wrapped her arms around him tightly. He wanted to hold her as close to him as possible and never wanted to let go. It was a comfortable feeling he held her, as if she had always belonged in his arms.
The only flaw was that he could never admit his feelings for her. It wasn't that he was scared of rejection… okay, he was really afraid that she would reject him. But mainly he was afraid to ruin the friendship they had. If things went wrong, things would begin to change and he wouldn't be able to do anything without making her think he was a total creep. In all honesty, he wanted more than stolen glances, secret gifts and only getting to hold her close every once in a while. Yet, maybe it was better this way… for now.
But most of all… Tadashi loved that Gogo Tomago acted like she hated him… because he knew that meant she truly cares.
A/N: Howdy readers, it's me again. I hoped you enjoyed reading this drabble. For now it will be marked as incomplete because depending on the reception (I.E. reviews, favs, follows, mainly reviews though.) I plan on adding more little tidbits like this, if not I may just leave as is. Therefore, don't forget to leave your thoughts. I gladly accept all criticism in order to be able to grow as an writer.
~ novalightstar