Before I Met Her

A KowalskixHayley Fic

Kowalski sighed as he watched the sun set. Next to him was a girl with blonde hair and red highlights. Her name was Hayley. They were holding hands. Kowalski edged a little closer to Hayley, who hugged him. Kowalski laughed softly. "That was much better than when you first met me. You completely glomped me!" Hayley snickered. They looked at each other and they burst out laughing.

Skipper watched this from nearby. He sighed and said, "I remember what Kowalski was like before he met her…" Kowalski was remembering too. He remembered how he felt, and how everyone tried to make him feel better, and…the war. The Great War of Danville. He had met Hayley after the biggest battle in the war. The Battle Over Danville Park. It had aero fights and ground fights.

Later that night, Hayley had rode her bike home to Deviant Lane and everyone was in bed. Almost everyone. Kowalski was sitting there, watching Rico and Extreme snuggled up in bed. Skipper woke up. He walked over to Kowalski. "Kowalski…are you okay?" "Hmm? Oh…I was just remembering life…before I met her…" "Who are you talking--Oh, Hayley!" Kowalski nodded. "Yes. Don't you remember, sir?" Skipper gave a slight start. "Yes…very clearly…" Kowalski replied, "I do too…as if it were on a HiDefinition TV." And he did…

(We're now going back in time. Now we're in the past. Enjoy)

It was the end of a day of stopping evil. Like every day. Perry had gone back to his home with Phineas and Ferb. Kowalski looked around. Brandie was hugging Skipper, and Button and Private were laughing at something the latter just said. Rico and Extreme were planning on what to blow up next. But there was no-one with him. He was alone. Kowalski sighed. Did no-one love him? He stared at the wall with a vacant expression. He managed to look back at Skipper. Brandie just kissed him. That was the final straw.

Kowalski choked back a sob. Skipper noticed. He walked over. "Kowalski…what's wrong?" Kowalski didn't know how to explain it. He just looked at Skipper and said, "There's nothing wrong…I'm fine…" Skipper didn't exactly believe it, but he just accepted it as the answer.

The next day, when it was Doofenshmirtz's day off, Kowalski noticed that a moving van was driving by. "Skipper! Over here! There's a moving van." Skipper looked up in interest. "Really?!" "Yeah. It reads, 'Devious Moving, started by perryiscute'" They looked at each other, both wondering the same questions: "Who's perryiscute? And who's moving in?" Kowalski had lost interest in the van as soon as it rounded the corner. He decided to go for a walk.

As he walked down the street, Button waved. "Hi-hi!" Kowalski gave a feeble wave back, then continued walking toward the park. On the other side of the street, a blonde girl with red highlights and a dark-blonde girl with glasses were chatting excitedly. "Yeah, and I heard that your internet penpal, Karl, lives here!" "OMG, really?!" Kowalski looked up at the word "Karl". Could those kids mean Karl the intern? All at once, a girl with short brown hair and hazel eyes ran up to the two others. "YBFAN! CRACKPOT! WAIT UP!" The two girls sweatdropped. "Sorry Kittyhugger…"

Kowalski hid behind a trashcan. Kittyhugger said, "S'okay. Long as you don't leave me behind again! I wanna explore Danville too! Maybe we might meet Doofenshmirtz and tell him about the PerryxDoof club!" Crackpot's eyes widened. "ARE YOU KIDDING?! He'd probably murder us if we told him! Or at least just faint." YBfan nodded in agreement. "She's right you know." Another girl with Perry-colored hair and green eyes ran up. "Oh, hey guys! How are you enjoying Danville?" "It's great, Perryiscute! Thanks for bringing us here!" Perryiscute blushed. "It's no big deal, really. I just wanted you to see if you could find your favorite P&F charries." Kowalski sighed. If only he knew how girls worked.

YBfan got an idea. "Hey! Let's go to the park!" The four girls ran off, leaving Kowalski to think about what they were saying. He only had one thought in mind: I have to tell Skipper.

"SKIPPER!!!" Skipper was jerked out of his "book trance" by a shout. Kowalski ran in, panting from running so fast. "What? What happened?" Kowalski panted, "The people who just moved in are four teenage girls!" "So?" "So, they know about the Agency! And Doofenshmirtz and Karl and one of them even thinks that Agent P is cute!" Skipper gasped. "We have to tell Monogram!"

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"WHAT?!" Monogram was shocked. "How do they know about us?! And Karl? And Doofenshmirtz! And…EVERYTHING!" Rico just gave him the happy hamster "duh" look. Private shrugged, Skipper did the same and Kowalski just said, "I have no idea." Monogram blinked. "Well, I think you need to keep a close watch on those girls…" Karl spoke up. "But what's the PerryxDoof nonsense?" All four of the penguins shrugged.

Private hummed for a few seconds before saying, "Wait…I think I remember seeing something about it on the internet. Something called Enemishipping. It says that it's the suggested love-hate relationship between Perry and Doofenshmirtz. Also called Perryshmirtz. There are other Perry pairings too. Like Canderry, Kerry, and Phinerry. Canderry is the supporting of a romantic relationship between Candace and Perry."

Karl asked, "What about Kerry and Phinerry?" Before Private could answer, Button said, "Kerry is the supporting of a romantic relationship between you and Agent P. Phinerry is Phineas and Agent P." Karl said nothing, but fainted. "Karl!" Monogram said, worried. Skipper said, "It's just the shock of the Kerry thing. Just leave him there."

But Kowalski had something else on his mind. Now even Agent P has a girlfriend! That Perryiscute girl. Does no-one love me? I mean, as a boyfriend? He was donning that vacant expression again. Skipper's concern for Kowalski rose.

That night, Kowalski was the only one who couldn't sleep. He was too upset to even rest. Skipper has a girlfriend, Private has a girlfriend…heck, even Rico has a girlfriend. But I don't have one? Why doesn't anybody notice? Questions chased each other in his mind, none of them with answers. Kowalski started crying. "Why doesn't anybody care?" He eventually cried himself to sleep.

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Kowalski woke up to an explosion. He looked out the window. Smoke was billowing from Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. "How long was I asleep?" Kowalski thought that Doofenshmirtz had already been stopped, that the familiar "Curse you, Perry the platypus and the penguins!" would be shouted soon, but that was not what happened. Something really bad had happened…

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"Ah-ha! I've got you now, Perry the platypus!" Doofenshmirtz laughed as he pulled the trigger on his Nemesis-Destructinator! "This will show YOU for that PerryxDoof thing!" Perry dodged the blast as he thought, How did he know…? Another blast. Perry dodged it again. Skipper, Private and Rico were watching with interest.

They had decided to take turns fighting Doofenshmirtz. One mission, Perry fights, the next, the penguins fight. This was one of those Perry days. Perry dodged yet another blast. He tried to fight back, he really did. But he just couldn't. After fighting Doofenshmirtz and dodging the blasts for several more minutes, Perry fell to the ground, exhausted. Panting for breath, he looked up at Doofenshmirtz with pleading eyes.

Doofenshmirtz avoided Perry's gaze, he knew that trick all too well. He put his finger on the trigger once more and pulled it. Perry almost got hit, but Doof's aim was a fraction low. The blast only sent Perry slamming into the wall. He looked desperately at the penguins, who, all of a sudden, weren't there. Darn them.

Doofenshmirtz pulled the trigger again, but nothing happened. The battery had died. While Doofenshmirtz went to find the batteries, Perry called Monogram. "Agent P? Why are you calling?" Then he noticed Perry's desperate face. "What's happened?" He nodded in Doofenshmirtz's direction. "Doofenshmirtz? What did he do?" Perry explained about the Nemesis-Destructinator. "What?! How could he do that?! You know what, he went too far this time! Karl! Agent P is in trouble! We need you to save him!" "Ok, sir!"

Karl bravely ran to save Perry. Somehow Perry felt that help wouldn't come soon enough. Doofenshmirtz finally found some batteries for his ray gun and put them in. He aimed it at Perry once more. Just as he pulled the trigger, Kowalski burst in and pulled Perry out of the way. "Agent P…are…are you okay?" Perry nodded weakly and looked at Doofenshmirtz. He was aiming at them, but mostly at Perry. Kowalski noticed this and got in front of Perry to shield him. Doofenshmirtz was not deterred. He was set on destroying his nemesis once and for all. Karl ran in, but froze with fear at the scene. He whispered, "This is worse than I thought…"

Doofenshmirtz pulled the trigger, and the blast hit Kowalski. He collapsed, unconscious. Kowalski! Perry turned a glare on Doofenshmirtz. He pushed himself off the floor and then, with a fire in his eyes that Karl had never seen before, he ran at Doofenshmirtz and knocked the Nemesis-Destructinator out of his hand. He fought Doofenshmirtz to the ground and pinned him down.

Karl didn't know what to do, so he just stood by until he was sure it was safe. Perry tied Doofenshmirtz up and threw the Nemesis-Destructinator out the window, where it smashed on the pavement. Doofenshmirtz shouted, "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE--!!!" but couldn't finish because Perry stuffed a sock in his mouth. Put a sock in it! The little rhythm that plays after jokes in comedy shows played. Karl grinned nervously and hid his drums behind him. Doofenshmirtz bunny-hopped out(Perry tied up his legs too) and spit out the sock, and said, "I'll get you, Perry the platypus! This is WAR!"

Karl and Perry ran over to the unconscious Kowalski, and Karl took his pulse. "His heart's still beating…" Perry gave a sigh of relief. Is he going to be okay? "I think so…there's a one in a million chance that he won't…that's very tiny." At that moment, Kowalski woke up. "What ha-happened?" he asked weakly. Karl answered, "You got zapped by Doofenshmirtz's Nemesis-Destructinator. But Agent P stopped him in the end." He looked uncomfortable about something. "What is it?" Kowalski asked, noticing this. Karl sighed. "It was what Doofenshmirtz said as he ran out. He said that it was war. I…wish I knew what he was talking about…"

Kowalski's eyes widened in fear. He looked at Perry, who was looking at him with a concerned look. Kowalski…you almost died to save me. That was very brave…and foolish…but mostly brave. "Of course I saved you, Agent P. I didn't want you to die." Perry, tears streaming down his face, hugged Kowalski. For a minute, I thought you had died…Before you came and saved me I thought I was gonna die! Kowalski patted Perry on the head. "It's okay Agent P…it's okay…"

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Skipper paced nervously across the room, Monogram doing the same. They were both worried. Skipper for Kowalski, Monogram for Agent P and Karl. Then Perry, Karl, and Kowalski ran in. Karl almost glomped Monogram. Kowalski actually glomped Skipper. "Oh, Skipper! I thought I'd never see you again!" Skipper was shocked to see that Kowalski was actually…crying. Private looked up from Titanic by Will and Mary Pope Osborne and shouted, "Kowalski! You're back!"

Monogram was also glad that Agent P was okay. Oh, and that Karl was too. -cough- He seemed shocked by what Doofenshmirtz had said. "What? There's gonna be a war?" Karl replied, "I think so, sir…" Monogram sighed. "I guess we have no choice but to fight back." The Great War of Danville had begun.

To Be Continued…

Next Time On Before I Met Her…

Kowalski pulled the plane out of the dive, and dodged Doofenshmirtz's shots. He heard an explosion behind him, then looked to see the wreckage of the evil doctor's plane falling out of the sky. "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" came a familiar shout. Over the communicator-radio, Kowalski heard Karl cry out in pain, so he asked urgently, "Karl! Are you okay?!" "No…" came the weak and feeble reply, "One of Doofenshmirtz's allies actually shot me instead of the plane…" The intern groaned in pain.

In Karl's plane, the intern was clutching his stomach, blood staining his shirt. He fought to stay conscious as he said one last thing: "Don't worry about me," he paused as another pain shot through him, "just…stop Doofenshmirtz…" And he fainted, thinking he would never see his friends again.

WILL Karl survive? WILL Doofenshmirtz be convinced that war is not the best thing? And WILL Kowalski ever find out that Hayley loves him?! The answers to these questions and more on the next part of Before I Met Her!

I do not own Madagascar, DeviantART or Phineas and Ferb. Anyone who thinks I do will be beaten up by my friends, the penguins.