Long ago, in the land of men dressed in snuggies that have magical powers and dragons (ACTUAL dragons, not that salamander with wings crap from HtTYD), there was a mighty king by the name of...what was his name again? Artimer...Arnold...Asshat...ARTHUR, there we go. King Arthur, that prick. He was a mighty king with a mighty...sword, who ruled the knights of the round table. Those knights dance whenever they're able. They do routines, and chorus scenes and footwork impecc-able, but that's besides the point. No, this story is about...SPARKLES, ARTHUR'S HORSE! Nah, it's about that jerk and how he got the knife or whatever...
(Future) King Arthur rode on his horse Sparkles deep in Sherwood Forest or wherever the hell this takes place. He rode long and he rode her hard across the land. Though he had to stop riding Sparkles when suddenly they reached a bridge.
..."Stop" is an understatement really, because what really happened was the horse did stop...abruptly, which sent Artie flying over the water and to the other side. He stood up and flipped off the horse before dusting himself off. "This is why I can't wait for cars to be invented..." He muttered to himself as he trodded along the path to the forest. "Now all that is left is to go through this easily navigable forest and get that sword...thing...yeah, going now!" He proudly walked into the forest.
5 hours later, he was still walking around the forest, crying his eyes out. "MOMMY! MOMM—oh, I'm so fuckin' lost, where in the hell am I?" He started to rub his eyes and as he was doing so ran into a sign. After focusing a bit, he noticed it was a giant map like you'd find in a mall. "Oh! Didn't see this all 664 times I passed through here." He looked around it, and pointed to the red You Are Here arrow, then followed a path around to where it said Here's Your Sword, Dumbass. "Got it!" He walked off proudly once more, sure that he's got it this time!
2 hours later he returned back to that map and wrote everything down and then set off once more, for sure grasping the concept.
It was only a short amount of time before he finally arrived at a stone with a sword in it. The...master sword...or whatever, yeah. He tossed the map aside and ran up to the stone. "Now, to take this sword and become King!" With all his might, he tugged at the sword...but it wouldn't come loose. "Oh, come on, it's in the damn prophecy and everything!" He tried again, this time crying as he did it. "NO FAIR!" He kicked the sword, which only resulted in him hurting himself.
"Looks like this is a job for a real man, you pansy." Iron Man landed in front of the stone and yanked out the sword with one hand. "I am Iron Man, and I am now King Of...where am I?" He asked as he turned around to Arthur.
"England, you twit. Now, gimme, I'm supposed to be king!" Arthur ran up to him to retrieve the sword, but Iron Man held it just above his head so he'd have to jump for it to get it, in a playground bully type way. "Stop it!"
"Yeah, I don't think so." Iron Man blasted Arthur away with his repulsor ray. "Well, this was fun...aw, is that a scratch?" He looked at his reflection in the sword to see the mark, but found nothing. "Ah well." He tossed the sword away, impaling Arthur in the stomach. "I am Iron Man..." He said as he pulled a large kingly crown from nowhere and placed it on his head. He clapped two times and women came from out of nowhere with food and beer to serve to their new overlord. "It's good to be the king."