Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters
This story takes place in the season 5 episode "forever"
Tara walked towards Buffy. She must feel so lonely. Yes, she has friends and her sister, but after her father left, their bond grew. They had their differences, but they never stopped loving each other.
"Hey. Dawn is kind of ready to go… Is it okay if we take her?"
Buffy glanced at Dawn, who stood nearby Willow. She tried to comfort her, even though she knew it had no use. Dawn felt miserable and couldn't even look her sister in the eyes. Buffy doesn't even care, she thought. She's been running around like it's
all been some big chore. Mom didn't mean so much to her as it does to me. But deep downDawn knew she was wrong.
Buffy realized Tara was waiting for her answer.
"Yeah. She should probably get out of here."
"What about you? We can wait, if you want."
"I'm okay. Thanks."
Buffy gave her a little smile.
"Thank you for… I just want to…"
"It's okay, I…, we understand."
Tara gave Buffy a little nod and leaved the cemetery with Willow and Dawn, whose gaze was downcast, not looking at anybody.
Buffy was now alone. She stared at her mother's grave. Children shouldn't bury their own parents. It's not supposed to be this way. Dawn needs her mother. I need my mother.
Suddenly something moved at her shoulder. Buffy quickly turned to see Angel. She was surprised. How can he be here so early? Oh right, it's already dark. Buffy looked him in the eyes. She called him a few hours ago. She didn't want to disturb him, knowing he was busy helping the hopeless with Cordelia and Wesley in LA, but he was the only one she could really talk to.
Angel's face was full of compassion and sorrow. A beat. Buffy slipped her hand into his. They didn't know how long they stood there, silently watching the grave of Joyce Summers in grief. Finally, Angel lead her to a tree and signaled her to sit down. She did as he wished and leaned into him, while Angel wrapped his arms around her.
She doesn't deserves this. Like her life isn't difficult enough. Being the slayer, fighting forces of darkness, losing her friends - and now -losing her mother. Why does it have to be so hard for her. I wish I could stay, but I would make things even worse. We can't be together. Even as friends… Spike was right. We're not friends. We'll never be friends.
Angel noticed Buffy was trying to say something. He could see she was trying to hold it together. My dear Buffy, you don't have be strong, not with me.
"The funeral was… It was brutal… But what I'm really worried about is tomorrow."
"What's tomorrow?"
He knew what she meant, but he asked it anyway. She needed someone to express her feelings with.
"That's what I don't know. Up 'til now I've had a road map - things to do, every minute, that had to do with mom…"
"And tomorrow the stuff of everyday living resumes."
She sighed and looked at the ground.
"Which everybody expects me to know how to do because I'm so strong."
"Not right away. I'm sure everybody understands that you need time."
He lied. Sure, her friends do everything for her. They would even give their very own life for her. However, they can never fully understand Buffy in ways I do. She has to carry the weight the world. She can never have a normal life. Not even a normal relationship.
"Time's not the issue. I'm good at sticking wood in vampires, but Mom was the strong one in real life. She always knew how to make things better, what to say…"
"You'll find your way. Not all at once, but…"
"I don't know…"
Buffy took his hands. A shiver went through Angel's spine. He thought that after working and living in Los Angeles for almost two years, his feelings for her would have been decreased.
"I keep thinking about it, Angel. When I found her. If I'd gotten there ten minutes earlier-"
Angel quickly recovered.
"You said they told you it wouldn't have made a difference."
Buffy her eyes got wet. She had to tell someone her dirty secret.
"No. Probably wouldn't have made a difference. The exact thing they
said was probably. I haven't told anyone that-"
She's being way to hard for herself…
"That doesn't make it your fault. You couldn't have done anything different."
Buffy's eyed widened in anguish.
"I didn't even start CPR until they told me to. I fell apart. That's how good I am at being a grown up."
"Buffy-"
"If I just had me to worry about…
But Dawn…"
Oh no… I forgot to tell Angel about Glory and the key/Dawn.
Angel noticed Buffy got tensed.
"Is there something with Dawn?"
Buffy took a deep breath and told him about the monks, the fake memories, Glory… She told him everything she knew.
Angel was shocked. He didn't want to believe it, but knew Buffy was right. He always felt there was something "wrong" with Dawn. He pulled her closer.
"It's okay. It's okay. You don't feel like it now, but you are strong, Buffy. You're going to figure it out. And you have people to help you. You don't have to do it alone."
He paused and added:
"Not with me around…"
Buffy looked at the sky, scared and small.
"I can stay in town. As long as you want me."
"How's forever? Is forever good for you?"
Angel felt a sting in his undead heart. He wanted to be with her so badly, but they couldn't. He's immortal, she's not. The curse…
Buffy saw his worried look
"There's a bad idea. I'm seriously needy right now."
Angel knew he shouldn't ,but still stroked some hair from her face and said tenderly:
"Let me worry about the neediness. I can handle it."
Raw and vulnerable, Buffy looked at him - wanting to believe it. Wanting him closer. She leaned forward and kissed him. He responded gently - meaning to comfort, but the intensity built quickly, the desire bubbling just under the surface. Buffy would have liked nothing better to forget herself with him - and he felt it powerfully. They broke away from each other.
"Told you."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm so grateful you came, Angel. I didn't think I was going to make it through the night."
Angel closed his arms even tighter around her. They were both pained and comforted by the powerful bond between them.
"Were you serious about me being here for you, forever?"
"Of course I was"
"Even after you had a normal relationship… With Riley."?
"I don't think our relationship was as normal as you think."
"What do you mean?"
Buffy put her hand behind his head . He has no idea…
"I don't think we have the time to talk about it right now. Sunrise is coming."
"You still love him, do you?"
"No, I don't. There is only one person I love and he is right in front of me."
Angel looked pained, which surprised Buffy.
"Buffy… You know I will always love you, but I want you to be with someone who can take you into the light, who can…"
One of Buffy fingers gently touched his mouth.
"I know what you want to say. Don't."
She gave him another kiss.
"Can you stay here for one more day? You can sleep on the couch at my place. I'm just not ready for you to not be here.
Angel gave her a little smile.
"Of course"
To be continued
Next chapter: Buffy tells Angel about her break-up with Riley and Angel talks about the Shanshu prophecy.