THIS IS MY FIRST GARRUS/FEM!SHEP FANFICTION. I DID REALLY BAD ON THE THANE ONE SHOT SO I'M REDOING EVERYTHING I'VE WRITTEN. PLZ REVIEW AND BARE WITH ME I'M STILL NEW WITH MASS EFFECT 1 AND 2.

I DON'T OWN BIOWARE OR ANY CHARACTERS, LETIING YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW.

PLZ ENJOY AND REVIEW, THANK YOU

She sat at her desk, staring at Kaidan's picture fame, thinking of the night before Ilos. The past few months were the hardest for her. Sure she had helped her crew with her personal problems and was preoccupied with missions that she never truly had time to deal with her own problems. Kelly was always trying to pressure her into telling her story, but she didn't want to talk to someone she didn't know for very long. Opening up her private terminal, she saw the only message she had saved…Kaidan. After Horizon she wanted to cry, his words stung her deeply, but she knew she didn't change. She wanted to write back, tell him she was sorry, that she still had loved him; but she let it go. He was dating someone else now, serious or not, and if it was truly meant to be he would give her a chance.

She sighed and pushed herself away from the desk, turning around her chair and hopped into the restroom. Upon hearing the hissing door close, she took a quick hot shower, trying to forget everything. All her life she had to stay strong since her family died on Mindoir, from losing her whole company on Akuze, losing Jenkins and Ashley and when Kaidan walked out on her when she really needed him. She was thankful for still having some friends who trusted and cared for her. Anderson always made sure she was well; he stood up for her when she went after Saren and Sovereign. Dr. Chakawas who's been with her since the first Normandy and thankfully still was, she didn't think she'd want any other doctor touching her. Ah, Joker, of course who's been with her since the first Normandy as well always saving her ass before places blew up and wouldn't be alive period if it wasn't for him. Tali, her best friend she ever had. She was like a sister or cousin, she was always the one Tali went to when she needed advice or help with something. Hah, she even planned on giving Kaidan a piece of her mind but persuaded her not to go at him.

Garrus…he was like a protective brother to her. He was with her when she fought against Saren and was there when she did need a friend. When she had rescued him from his near death experience on Omega, she expected him to recuperate from his injuries and tell her good luck. When she was Spectre, he was with her when she destroyed Cerberus bases and ships, he always hated injustice like Samara, but instead he stayed by her side. It was hard to read Garrus sometimes. When she had died, Tali admitted she missed her and gave her a death grip hug, but with Garrus…he never spoke of it. Didn't bring it up, didn't say he missed her, or never telling her anything about her scars but she would sometimes catch him looking at them. They were gone now, thanks to Dr. Chakawas, but still he was silent. After sparing Sidonis's life he seemed to be himself again…at least somewhat but she understood it took time to heal. He was still with her and that's all she could ever ask for.

Combing her black shoulder length hair cut, she sighed in relaxation. Hugging her legs, she sat on her couch, taking her champagne glass and drank the water from it. "Crista, you have a visitor, do you wish for me to unlock the door?" EDI's voice asked. "Um, sure." Was all she could say, putting the glass on the glass table. Hearing the door hiss, she thought maybe Miranda wanted to check on her or maybe Jacob giving her an update on things, but… "Wow Shepard, what made you decide to just sit here in the dark?" she looked and was surprised to see him. "Garrus?" she asked, surprised. He barked out a laugh as he sat with her on the sofa. "Expecting someone else?" he asked menacingly. She giggled, "No but I'm just surprised. I expected you working on the canons or something." She said as she crossed her legs.

Garrus looked at her and couldn't help but stare at her outfit. She was wearing a black spaghetti strap blouse with black warm pants her hair perfectly against her skin, seeing water roll down her body, "I did but I thought I might visit, talk for a bit." He said, as he pushed his talons together. She nodded, "Of course." She said, turning sideways on her soft so he had her full attention. He quickly stood and cleared his throat; he couldn't help but be nervous. "I know we really haven't spoken since we met up after Omega or even the Collector attack…" he said as he scratched the back of his neck. "Yes, we have. We spoke about you, your team, and Sidonis." Shepard told him. "Crista, please hear me out." He said as he shot his head at her. She was quite shocked when he said her name, but merely nodded. "When the Normandy was attacked, you know what my first thought was?" he asked only getting her to shake her head. "I wandered if you were alright. I wanted to go up the elevator to get you but I had Wrex fighting me, practically kicking me into the escape pod with him, Tali, and the engineer group. I had waited a few days at the Citadel with the group until…Kaidan came…telling us how you sacrificed yourself to get Joker out." He explained to her. She smiled sadly, "The whole team split after that, Kaidan mourned for you as did Tali, Wrex took it kind of hard but he left the same day. I…I was a wreck and I stuck with Kaidan until a few months before you got me. He was already thinking about taking a girl to lunch. She looked like you…but she wasn't you." He continued.

He walked up to the fish tank and sighed, continuing, "I tried being a Spectre like you, continue your example, but everything was still chaotic. So I left to Omega and used the same sniper rifle you used." He said. "You had it?" she asked as she stood up. He nodded, still not looking at her. "I…I couldn't let it go…I couldn't let you go…" his hold began to shake. Shepard quietly went up to him and placed a hand on his arm, squeezing it reassuringly. He looked at her, whispering, "I wanted to die up their Shepard. No one cared about me, no one was going to miss me, and no one loved me…" He looked down at the floor before he looked back into her dark eyes, "Then I saw you. Charging into my base, killing everyone in your way. You had no idea it was I…but the way you lit up. I just, I thought it was really over when I was hit by the ship." He took a step towards Crista and placed his talons on her forearms, almost tightly. "I saw that death glare in your eyes, the way you shot down that ship, you don't realize how much I…" he stopped and looked away from her.

"Please…tell me." Crista whispered as she placed a hand on his cheek, turning his head to face her. She couldn't tell his expressions, but his eyes seemed to be filled with sadness and something else she couldn't quite remember, but it seemed like caring eyes. He wrapped his arms around her small waist and pulled her against his armored chest, hearing her make a small gasp. "…How much I had missed you." He whispered in her ear, inhaling her sweet scent. She smiled sadly and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "I know I'm sorry. I had missed you too." She whispered caringly, closing her eyes to savor the moment. "I have something for you." He said as he let her go slowly.

He reached over to her desk and held up a black box to her, seeing as his mandibles flared open in excitement. Shepard smiled softly as she took it, sitting on the steps. Placing it on her lap, she gasped as she opened it, to see paint tubes and what seemed to be an armband/patch. "What is this for?" she asked, looking up at him. He sat down next to her and took out the arm patch first. "I have the same patch on my equipment, see?" he pointed out, exposing his arm to her. She giggled and nodded, "I know, thank you. I just wandered though, why are you giving me one?" she asked.

He lowered his head and sighed, "It's the least I could give you for taking your rifle." He said ashamed. She put a hand on his arm and whispered, "I would've wanted you to have it, don't feel bad." He looked at her, giving her a nod as he placed a talon on her hand. She immediately blushed when she felt his warmth and slipped her hand out slowly, looking down at the box. "So…what are paints for then?" she asked as she lifted a small tube with blue paint on it, matching Garrus's armor color. He chuckled, "I guess you wouldn't know. Do you know about turians clans and such?" he asked.

She shrugged, "A little bit. I know turians mark their faces with clan colors." She answered. He nodded and put it back on the box. "When turians find their life mate, get engaged, join a family, or if a good friend is casteless, we present our colors to them and invite them to join us…" he said, looking up at her. She smiled, "So being a good human Spectre friend of yours, you want me to join? Didn't you say your father wouldn't like me?" she teased. He barked out a laugh again, "I don't need permission from my father." He said, pushing his shoulder against hers. "Is it just for private time though? Or is it this like a permanent invitation?" she asked slightly embarrassed. His mandibles flared again, "It's a permanent one," he took the box from her "I know humans don't mark their face with paint, but if you want we can paint your armor with my colors or both…or not at all..." He said, fondling nervously with the box locks.

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes back and stood up as she leaped happily to her closet, opening up her armor hologram. "I'd be honored to wear your colors Garrus." She said as she back up to Garrus. He smiled up at her and stood up, handing her the box. "You just put a drop of colors into the data pad and just customize the colors into it." He explained to her as she took out the vials. There were four colors available; light blue, dark blue, white and black; the four colors on his face and armor. "EDI, do you think you can somehow match my armor with Garrus, just slightly?" she asked she put the arm patch on the omni tool scanner. "Of course, Shepard." EDI's voice said, quickly editing her armor. When it was done it was practically a spitting image of Garrus, with no white on it though, and the patch was on her left arm instead of her right like Garrus's.

She smiled, "Perfect EDI, thank you." She said sweetly as she looked back to Garrus. "You're welcome Shepard." EDI said almost proudly and logged out. Garrus was smiled, "Thank you Shepard." He said. She nodded and took out the blue and black paint, putting the box down. "What are you doing?" he asked as she stuck her fingers in them. "Well I can't forget my face…" she teased and closed her eyes, slowly smeared it on her eyelids. He took a sharp breath as she did. She was actually putting paint on her face! As she fanned her eyelids, she chuckled, "Does it look right?" she asked. He slowly brought up his talons and whispered, "Hold on." He whispered and smeared away falling paint drops. 'She's so soft…' he thought. Using his dried talons and caressed her skin.

That's what he found so interesting about humans…about her. Turian women were just like men, but of course there womanhood. Turian women had rough scaly skin with rough voices and in turian culture women weren't exactly…womanly like humans and asari women were; you never saw a turian woman in a dress dancing the night away. But Crista, she wasn't anything like that. He inhaled her sweet scent, what smelled like lavender; unlike turian women who didn't seem to have scents to him. She had very soft yet fragile skin with pink puffed lips, her dark chocolate eyes beaming up at him when she saw him. Her soft voice was soothing to him, like a soft melody to him…so womanly to him. And she often did wear feminine clothes. She hated wearing clothes with Cerberus logos on them and she often did wear a night gown to sleep or funny looking pajamas, or simple outfits that showed her skin. She always surprised him; now here he was seeing her put his clan colors on herself.

.

Sighing in relaxation, he saw as her eyes finally opened to stare right into his eyes, feeling her shiver. "Garrus." She whispered, leaning into his talons. He smiled again and whispered, "Shepard." She smiled and put her hands on her necklace. "Here." She said as she pulled it over her head, handing him what looked to be a photo locket. "No, I can't take it. Please you've done more than enough." He said, pushing it away. "I'm not asking you to take it. I'm ORDERING you to take it." She said in her commander voice, jokingly. He sighed. "Very well." He mumbled. She clapped her hands together in victory and tip toed up as she put her arms around him, hooking the necklace around his neck. He looked down to see her initials carved on it. "It's a hologram photo locket. There's pictures of us from the old days." She said with a smile. "There's some even from my childhood." He nodded. "Why are you giving it to me though?" he asked. She sighed, looking down to the ground. "We might not all make it alive. Myself included…" she said sadly "If for whatever reason I…passed on again and you don't, I want something for you to have of me." He grabbed onto her arm. "Don't say that. I won't let you die on me…not again." He said, with agony in his voice. She shook her head, "But it's true Garrus. No one thought I could die, but I did! Everyday we risk ourselves to death whether it's on the Citadel, on Omega, or even on a Collector ship! This job isn't risk free!" she yelled, yanking her arm away.

He narrowed his alien eyes at her and made tight fists with his talons. He angrily punched the wall, causing Shepard jumped back a little. Shepard slowly touched his shoulder and said; "Stay strong for me Garrus" he looked at her and saw her eyes moisten "cause I don't know if I can." He pulled her into a tight hug, feeling her small body shake in his arms. "I will. No matter what." He said, burying his head into her neck. Feeling his mandible flare against her cheek she turned her head into his neck as well, snuggling into his warmth. Slowly pulling away, he saw as her eyes were closed, her puffed pink lips glistening, calling him. He cupped her face with one talon hand and saw as she looked up into his eyes. Never peeling away from her glare, he rubbed his mouth against her lips. She smiled; she knew turians didn't kiss like humans did but she firmly pressed her lips against his mouth. He closed his eyes and slipped his tongue along her lips, hearing her moan as she rubbed her tongue against his. Her lips were indeed soft and her tongue was warm and soft; not rough like other turians.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and moaned again as he buried his tongue into her mouth cavern, tasting all of her mouth before wrestling once again with her tongue. He placed his free hand on her back, pressing her hard against him, scared to almost lose her. "I'm sorry to interrupt Shepard" EDI's voice interrupted "but we will be arriving to the Citadel in 15 minutes. The team is already preparing and Joker's waiting for you up on deck." Garrus nipped her lips and smiled as he pulled away, seeing Shepard blush. Her breath unsteady and her lips parted; a moment he wouldn't forget. "Wow, that might have been better than human kisses." She teased. He laughed, "Might have?" she giggled. "We might need to test that again once this is all over." She whispered. "We will, I promise." He said as he pulled away. "You should go so I can get my stuff together." she said, still blushing. He nodded; "Yeah, I need to go check on canons and stuff" he said and slowly walked backwards to the door, still watching her. "I'll see you out there" and with that said, he left…

PLZ REVIEW, I'M TRYING TO TAKE THIS AS SLOW AS POSSIBLE. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!