Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.
"She's not going to go." Ella scolds, hitting Iggy in the arm lightly with the side of her paperback. The sight of the two of them feuding brings a smile to my face, just because they are so un-serious when it comes to fighting, already Iggy is chuckling and my sister is, in spite of all her efforts, beginning to grin. I laugh at her twitching lips even as she turns them on me, "Well you're not, are you?"
"Ella-" I start, breaking off with the harrumph that she gives me, her arms folding themselves to her chest as powerlessly as if there was a magnet hidden there. This is my sister in suspended disbelief; the thought almost has me chortling again. I'm sure my eyes betray me but I swallow down whatever is rising in my throat before continuing. "Ella, if it were Iggy, wouldn't you?"
"Maybe, but this isn't about Iggy." Her eyes plead with me, entreat me to understand, she is my sister, she's only doing her job, she doesn't want me to get hurt. She reaches over to take my hand, her paperback falling loose on the table. Her voice is the voice of someone approaching an untamed lion, an untamed lion that has already killed two of the workers at the zoo, apparently I am that lion; who knew? "Max, he left you. Almost twenty years ago he left you, and in those twenty years what has he done, he hasn't contacted you, we know that. He hasn't contacted Iggy, or Angel, or Nudge, or Gazzy, me or even Dylan… he hasn't tried, Max. "
"We don't know that." Anger and denial burn a bridge through me, my words come out heated, even a little bitter. I repeat them again for good measure, making sure to enunciate. "We don't know it, Ella, we just don't."
From the couch I see Iggy give a nod at me, so small that at first I am sure it is my imagination. I blink and it is gone, his body is tense but he is focused on my sister, or at least his head is turned toward her. I am completely alone in this room, it takes me a moment to realize that Ella is speaking, and from the way her eyes fill with concern, she has noticed it. I shake my head, try to dispel it of thoughts before asking her to repeat herself, she does so with a grimace. The untamed lion voice comes into play again.
"I said that you could be happy with Dylan." She grabs for my hand again but I jerk it back, hers seems to recoil away, as if stung. She sighs, "Max, you could be, I know you could be. If you would just give him a chance, a real chance, just one, I know you two could do well together. I know that you could love him, you just have to try… you could learn to love him, because he's what you've got. He hasn't left you since the day you met practically. He's stood by you all these years, even though you so clearly have been pushing him away. Doesn't that count for something?"
"I have to know, Ella." Something in my voice breaks and I feel my eyelids begin to flutter, tears forming behind them; tears that I will not allow to roll, not here. My voice comes out a whisper because that's all I can manage without breaking it completely. "I have to know, Ella, I have to see… I have to."
"Max-" Despite my protests a tear falls, and another follows that one, I wipe my cheeks with an unsteady hand, even though more just seem to fill their places. Ella comes towards me, her arms open as though for a hug, I want to sink into them but instead I push off from my armchair. She stops, "Max, I'm sorry. . . I just don't want you to wind up getting hurt. He hurt you so bad that last time, Max; I just don't want to have to watch you go through that again, because it hurts. It hurts me and it hurts Mom, I know that you know it hurts the flock. . . I don't want him to put you through that again, please, just give it a thought, okay? Before you go and fly out to that mountain, just try and remember what it felt like to lose him the first time, okay? Try to figure out if you want to put yourself through that again."
"I'm gonna go." My voice comes out sounding disconnected, even to my own ears, a barrage of salt floods my mouth and I swallow it down to the best of my abilities; slam the door on the way out, not allowing myself to hear my half-sister's pleads. I throw up in the rosebushes, and then, because I'm still not empty I do it again before sliding against the brick exterior of the house. I don't hear the sharp slam of the screen door or the heavy footsteps on the path, but when Iggy comes and wraps his arms around me I let him. I don't have to glance at the window to know that Ella is watching; I let her do that, too.
"If you see him tell him he's an asshole." Iggy's voice is quiet in my ear, his lips barely move but I can make out the sound; I stiffen, wait for the rest. "Tell him he's an asshole, but tell him that he's also the best friend I ever had, okay?"
"Okay." I don't recognize my own voice as I give Iggy a final squeeze, let go of him and head for my car. I don't tell him to go and consolidate Ella, but I know he will anyway. That night I do not get any sleep, the letter lies unopened on the pillow beside me; I know the contents of it by heart anyway.
A/N: If you took the time to read it I'm sure you can take the time to review, especially if you want to hear what happens when she goes to the cliff and reunites with her lost love! Thanks for your consideration and I hope to hear from you soon!