Chapter 1

Dear Diary

It's been a few months since I last wrote in here but it's not entirely my fault, thing haven't been going all that fucking well. I thought that I should at least write some of the shit down so that I don't forget, which I seem to be doing a lot of lately, but I can barely find the time. I figured a recap of what happen in the first month is what's best, hopefully I can recall all of it. I know I wont forget any of the important parts, like when they took Feliciano away, but everything in between seems like a blur, anyways.

I had just got out of school, and began walking to work when Feliciano called me on my cell crying like and babbling idiot...

"Goddamn it Feliciano what's going on, and why are you crying?" It was hot outside, I was almost spent from school alone. I did not feel like going to lift heavy crates of tomatoes for nine straight hours, with one break, for $2.50 per hour. The last thing I wanted to hear was my idiot brother, who can't even hold a job mind you, calling and complaining to me about something probably not important. I picked up my pace and headed quickly to the factory because fuck, if I lost the job that lazy ass grandfather of mine couldn't pay bills alone, or so he says, I don't believe him, fuck his 'supposed' debt.

"Lovino! he's covered in blood a...and he's not breathing and-" Feliciano was struggling to talk through his hiccups, it almost sounded like he was dying the way he gasped for breaths of air deeply.

"Where the Fuck are you, didn't you take the school bus straight home? And who the fucks covered in blood? Just call the cops and-"

"He's dead Lovino, Dead!"

Feliciano cried into the receiver and for a second I felt a pain of worry in my heart, like something was actually wrong and that maybe this time Feliciano wasn't being overly dramatic.

"Who's dead Feliciano?"

"Gran...grandfather." Felicano broke off into more sobs then dropped the phone, the sound of him retching came through the cell and then nothing, so I hung up confused and ...mostly fucking confused, maybe a bit scared.

"Fuck." I turned quickly and ran all the way home without stopping, looking back I don't know how my body made it I guess it was fear I was running on, fear that something could happen to Feli or maybe something had happened and I was too late. I would have busted in through the door of our small house had it not been already torn off the fucking frame. The inside was completely fucked up, even more so than grandfathers typical dirty whore or pile of clothing lying around. The couches were slashed, the lights didn't work it basically looked like someone let an army come in and have a fucking war in the house.

I was going to sneak into the kitchen and get a knife for some kind of protection just in case there was in intruder, but while I was passing the steps I started to kick up a sheets of notebook paper. So I stopped, looking up at the stairs I saw school books and papers had fallen from a backpack that lay overturned at the top. All I could think at that moment was that it was Feliciano's bag and something had happen to him. I wasn't thinking clearly, later on I would see, and feel just how much I had hurt myself physically but in that moment no, I didn't notice I had bawled my hands into fists and my nails were digging through or that I clenched my jaw so tight I had actually cracked a fucking tooth, can you believe that shit. Well the point was I was one pissed off Italian boy and I realized I didn't need a knife, if they had done anything to my brother I would kill them with sheer will power alone. So, completely blinded with fucking anger I ran to the top of the stairs.

In the room right around the corner, granted it is a very small house, the image of what I saw made my legs give out and cause me to double over and vomit there in the fucking hall. I will never forget it and to this day thinking about the image still urkes me and gives me goosebumps.

The room itself was barely illuminated by the window but I could see very clearly that man pinned against the wall with a single knife through the stomach, unable to fall over or reach the floor without ripping himself up the middle. His face may have been butchered relentlessly, his dislocated jaw hanging limp with blood still dripping out, and his eye sockets empty pits of black but I knew it was grandfather. What was left of his shredded clothes only clung by the blood that came from his many deep 's a lot more I don't like going through it in detail, like that fucking therapist made me do, so lets just say he was fucked up badly and I was probably truama fucking tized by it, but anyways.

Once I had gathered myself a little bit I weakly started to crawl over to the smaller body I had spotted bawled up on the bloody carpet at the dangling feet of grandfather. I tried to call out Feli's name because I knew it was him but every time the smell of the body gagged the hell out of me and I'd start to spit up saliva, I still tried though. I know for a fact it wasn't until then that I felt hot tears make their way down my cheeks, every time Feli didn't answer my weak calls I would get the feeling of loosing my balance and then wanting to fall over and cry and scream like a bitch, but, I had to make sure he was dead before that happened.

I made it there somehow and pulled Feliciano's body over, he could have passed for a dead guy. He was paler than usual, minus the red around his nose and flushed cheeks. His entire shirt was covered with blood and then vomit, which now I find gross but then did not care. His brown hair was matted to his fore head and looked blackened with all the blood it had soaked up. I pulled him over then waited and watched as his chest finally rose giving me relief. I was so fucking happy I hugged the bastard, then I passed the fuck out, but.

xxxx

"Lovino?" A knock came from Lovino's bedroom door. Shocked he shoved his Diary under a pillow, turned off his flash light then laid down and feigned sleep.

"Lovino." The blonde man said flatly as he entered the room. "I saw the light so I know you're up."

"I'm...sorry." Lovino said as he lifted up in the bed and looked into the icy sapphire core of what was the mans' eyes as he approached him.

"Sorry what?" He said as he grabbed Lovino's chin. "Sorry what?" He repeated more this time with an icy glare and a harsh tone.

"...I'm sorry, Master Ludwig." Lovino said with remorse before looking away at the floor.

"Good boy." Ludwig dropped Lovino's chin smiling satisfactory then he left the room.

"Bastard..." Lovino said as he heard the soft click of the door locking.

xxxx

But anyways Journal, I was interrupted by that german bastard wait till I tell you about this ass. I was Glad Feliciano was alive and that all that mattered.

The fucking end.

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thanks for reading!