The sunlight flickered down, dappling through the trees onto my face. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the warmth and the way the light danced upon my lids, all the hues of orange, red, and yellow placating me for the time being. I didn't want to dwell on the six hour drive from home to the cabin. So far the drive had been excruciating, and the cabin lay miles inside of the Adirondack park, far from any big cities. It was only somewhat depressing. I allowed myself to heave a quiet sigh.
"Is she asleep?" I heard a soft voice whisper from in front of me. I sat perfectly still, wondering what might be exchanged between my parents had I really been sleeping.
"I doubt it," my father responded. "I can see a faint smile on her face."
I opened one of my eyes and glanced at my dad. He was grinning at me in the rear-view mirror, his blue eyes alight with internal laughter. I closed my eye, allowing myself to grin back. My mom didn't speak again, at least not while I was still awake.
When I did wake, I was sad to see the sun had already disappeared beyond the horizon, a faint pink glow signified its defeat. I stretched my legs, grunting in the process. They had grown stiff from sitting in the car in the same position for many hours. I blinked, trying to clear the sleep from my eyes, and turned to face the window.
The forests of my memory had nothing compared to the sight I beheld. The trees stretched out before me, a mix of mostly conifers and old oaks, sparsely populated with maples and the occasional birch. It was like staring into an ocean of dark green; I was moved by its beauty. This was not at all what I had expected.
A sharp intake of breath into my lungs must have alerted my parents to my awakening, because my mother twisted around in her seat to face me.
"We're almost there," she chimed, her face lighting up. It almost seemed as though the sun hadn't set after all. My mother was one of those few people left in this world who literally glowed with an inner beauty beyond that of anything in existence. She could light up a whole room with her joy alone.
I smiled back at her, unable to deny her excitement, and replied "that's great, mom." Her happiness was bleeding throughout the car and infecting me. I tried very hard to remain in my depressing state.
"It'll be about fifteen minutes," my dad said. He seemed just as excited as she was, though he was at least exercising some control over his reactions.
My mother beamed at him, and turned back around to face the road. We were twisting through some random back road, and it seemed to be taking us nowhere in particular. Before my eyes the street opened up into the most beautiful town I had ever seen on the outskirts of a large city, like home.
It was surprisingly quaint, and well-lit, with a kind of old-time, homely atmosphere. Streetlights threw down blindingly bright light, casting countless long shadows from the people passing beneath them. Each building containing some family-owned store glowed with at least one fluorescent sign, inviting people to sit for coffee, or share a beer while they watched the game. Some shop windows were decorated with mannequins dressed in what I would consider unflattering clothing, while others displayed comfortable chairs and large sofas inhabited by animated coffee-drinkers. I pressed my face against the glass and stared in awe. I had never seen anything so comforting yet so exciting at the same time, and I'd never thought I would find a place so far from home as intriguing.
My father laughed, watching my reaction from the mirror.
"It's a nice place, isn't it?" he asked me, cutting the wheel and taking us onto a road a little way into the town. It led to what seemed to be more trees and more darkness. I twisted around and gawked some more at the lights that were quickly disappearing from view.
"Yeah," I agreed quietly.
I pulled myself away from the window and sat back in my seat. I reveled in the possibilities; I was half expecting us to be stranded forever in the woods with no source of communication with the outside world. But this; this actually made the move I was being forced into seem all the more pleasant. I relaxed into my seat, and waited for the new house to come into view.
After a few minutes of patience, I felt the stir of anticipation in my muscles. I opened the window very wide, and allowed the cool air to touch my face; it was crisp and clear as I breathed it in. It seemed to shock my lungs, which in response craved more and more of it. I wondered if it had more oxygen because of the huge forest. This woke me up immediately, and I smiled for a moment. I gazed out, watching the tiny flicker of the only few fireflies in probably all of upstate New York, and awed over how different this place was from the hustle and bustle of downtown New York CIty.
It was virtually silent, not including the sound of the car's engine and the wheels as they crunched over the dirt and gravel, bouncing off the hard trunks of the trees and echoing back to my ears. I could only imagine how much of it had been muffled or lost among the thick expanse of foliage above.
I looked up toward the sky, and my eyes snapped wide open in surprise. The stars, the amount of stars was breathtaking. I inhaled sharply and leaned out a little further so as to view the spectacle a little bit better. It seemed as though the navy sky was littered, literally covered in tiny pinpricks of light. I couldn't even make out the familiar shapes of Orion or Draco, Cassiopeia or Ursa Major. Even the color of the sky was different. Back home it had been just a muddy sort of blackish-gray, and the stars seemed to try so hard to show through the smog. But here was different; here, the sky was the most glorious shade of indigo. It was really something. I sighed quietly, and rested my chin on the open window, gazing upward.
Suddenly the trees broke, and out of the gloom appeared an immense, glassy lake. The trees reached out in both directions; their branches toward the sky, and their reflections toward the chilly depths of the lake. I began to feel a thrill of excitement course through me, and I finally spoke up.
"Dad," I whispered, crawling in between the driver's and passenger's seats, "How much farther is it?" I began bouncing in my seat with anticipation.
My dad chuckled, glancing at me momentarily in the rear-view mirror. "We should be there any minute; it sits right on the lake here. It can't be too far now. If you look closely, you should be able to see the lights of the cabin across the water."
Sure enough, leaning my head out the window, I caught sight of the little pinprick of light reflecting off the water, its yellow glow a beacon, calling us closer; closer.
We turned onto a very narrow dirt path, barely wide enough for our Cherokee to pass through. It wound right alongside the edge of the lake, and through the trees I could see the reflection of the hills, as well as the stars and moon hanging directly above. Before I could become any more impatient, the road ended and the trees opened up to a wide meadow alongside the lake.
And there it appeared. The log cabin was beautiful, much bigger than I would have thought was physically allowed. It stood two stories tall, and against a copse of trees. To the left of the house, from the view from the car, there was nestled near the cabin a tiny shed, and I wondered vaguely to myself what could be hidden inside. I could just make out amongst the dense shadow of the trees what looked like a clubhouse, perched on long sinuous limbs above the reach of forest creatures.
We parked our car along-side the trailer and an equally large, yet more impressive truck. It rose ominously high, and its grill seemed more like a grimace than a simple network of metal. My attention was held only momentarily, until I saw a light flicker on over the front door, and someone stepped over the threshold. I recognized my father's cousin and his timid wife trailing behind him. My dad stepped out of the car and stretched. He loped over and shook his cousin's hand.
"Ernie," my dad chuckled as he spoke, and they patted one another on the back. My mom approached his wife, Connie, and they kissed each other on the cheek.
"Michael, Kelly, I'm so glad you called, we've been trying for so long to rent this place out" Connie chimed. Her happiness seemed to bubble over as she spoke. Apparently it must have gotten to be too much of a chore to take care of this place themselves. All I knew from this arrangement was that my family was going to spend a few weeks with my dad's cousin, and we were going to move in after they'd left. I'd put up a good fight, but in the end had been left with no other choices but to come here. I was determined, however, to be miserable, no matter what the cost.
Connie turned to me, her smile touching both her ears and her striking dark eyes.
"I know you've had a bit of a drive, and you've been anxious to see your cousins. The kids are inside," she said to me, opening the door so I could enter. "They've been waiting for you." I walked through the door, stepping into the living room.
I immediately fell in love with the cabin.
The huge traditional logs that made up the walls were showing through, though they were separated by flat boards. I understood this to be a way of making the walls flat, rather than shapely like they would have been. The room was small and dark, lit only by a few floor lamps and the huge stone fireplace that dominated the western wall. I took in the cluttering of the comfortable looking sofas, all crammed around the fire for collecting heat.
And the paintings, the paintings that hung on the walls were what struck me hard. Most of them showed scenes that could be viewed from anywhere around the cabin. They consisted of the meadow, which captured the sweet aura of the small tree house and shed, as well as the lake with its small sandy beach and an old fallen tree serving as what appeared to be a bench where a few toddlers sat and played. It occurred to me suddenly that this was the work of my aunt, probably done when she spent the summers here. I gawked at them, only broken from my appreciation as I heard one of my cousins clunking noisily down the old wooden stairs.
"Willow!" I turned to see my older cousin, Jake, walking toward me. He was around the same age as me, about nineteen, but he suddenly seemed huge; probably three times the size since the last time I saw him. He had light brown hair which fell lazily around his face; typical of most teenagers, I knew; and blazing hazel eyes that literally killed me every time I looked at them. I envied his eye color. Mine were just a boring brown.
He pulled me into a rib-crushing hug, and I patted his back in response, hoping he wouldn't do too much damage.
"Hey, Jake" I choked, gasping. I rubbed my ribcage gently.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I always forget how fragile you are."
"No, it's more like you forget your own strength." It was a new voice that had spoken, from the top of the stairs. I looked up.
"Nicole!" I spluttered, as she descended the stairs. She was by far my most favorite cousin, and the one I could relate to most easily. I walked quickly toward the foot of the stairs to meet her. She reached it just as I did, and caught me up in a tight squeeze. She didn't let me go right away, and I could smell her shampoo as her long dark waves enveloped me in a comforting embrace of their own. I giggled and pushed them from my face, pretending to be disgusted as I did so. Jake caught on and laughed quietly to himself.
"Oh gosh," she laughed as she let me go, still clutching my shoulders, yet holding me far enough away to get a good look at me. "Look at how much she's grown! It's like I can't keep up with her it seems!"
When she stepped off the stairs I realized I was actually quite a bit taller than she was. I know I stood about five-seven, but she had to have been not much taller than five-four. I patted her on the head. She glared up at me, her blue eyes playfully furious. Being a few years older than I was, she definitely radiated maturity, but that never seemed to matter in our relationship. We still felt like sisters.
"I love your haircut," she cooed, suddenly forgetting her faux anger and touching my curls. "I wish my hair looked like yours."
"Thanks," I replied, flipping my hair and rolling my eyes with a big haughty smile on my face. This made her laugh. She looked at me sadly then, and I stared quizzically back.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
She smiled at me, covering her mouth and giggling to herself.
"She's leaving in a couple of days," Jake replied for her. He leaned against the banister, looming over us and crunching on a granola bar.
"What! Why?" I threw a speculative look at Nicole, who only continued to smile from behind her hand.
"Bryan's coming up here, and we're going to New York City for a few days," Nicole said, and she rocked onto the balls of her feet, grinning widely at me.
I glanced from her to Jake, completely confused.
"Okay, I give up. Who's Bryan?" I asked. She turned to face me.
"Sorry," she laughed. I didn't get the joke. "He's my fiancé."
I shook my head.
"Twenty one and you're ready to settle down?" I asked in wonder. She had never seemed the type to actually get married, have kids, and settle into a routine. She always stuffed her spare time full of traveling to bizarre locations, getting her hands dirty and experimenting with new and typically unorthodox pastimes and hobbies.
"Twenty-two," she replied, her smile warming her features. I shook my head again, more obviously this time, and rolled my eyes, trying to smile through my disappointment.
"You'll understand when you meet him, I'm sure," she said out of nowhere.
I simply nodded my consent.
"Come on," she whispered, taking my hand in hers. "Let's get you upstairs; I want to show you your room!"
I followed her up the stairs, her hand firmly clasped around mine, eager to begin these long four weeks adjusting to this new place. She guided me along the oak-paneled hallway, stopping here and there to show me various rooms.
"This is Jake's room," she said, pointing to a blue door with a biohazard sticker on it.
"Don't go in there," Jake interjected, leaning against the wall behind me. Nicole and I turned to him. "Unless of course you don't mind permanent trauma."
"Yeah, okay, moving on," Nicole said, turning away from him, her eyes widening with embarrassment. "Way too much information there, Jake."
She walked on ahead of us while Jake and I made faces to each other behind her back.
"This here is the bathroom, which the three of us will have to share," Nicole continued, waving her hand through a doorway with little interest. "I'm just glad I won't have to share it with Jake the next few weeks; that nightmare is all yours, Willow."
"Oh ha-ha," Jake complained, throwing her a scowl. "You're just so freaking funny."
I shrugged, poking my head into the room and inspecting the fixtures. The shower was alright, shrouded in a frosted plastic curtain on a ring above an old tub. I huffed at the actual claws on the feet of the tub; it was something I'd only ever seen in movies or really old crappy apartments, not the places I was used to in New York.
"And here," Nicole said as she gestured to a tan door at the end of the hall, her voice pulling me from the bathroom, "Will be your room."
I approached the door, peeking around the frame with curiosity.
"Well, at least until we get out of here," Nicole concluded, "Then you can have any of the other rooms; there's, like, five."
"This one will be fine," I breathed.
It was small, but only so as to make it cozy; it was big, but only so as to allow room for everything. Basically, it was the perfect size. The bed was full, covered in a white, light-weight comforter, a night-stand tucked against the wall beside it.
But what really caught my breath was the window; it was rather large, but only by my standards. I was used to single, tiny breathing holes in the walls of New York apartments. The kind you didn't even want to open for fear something terrible would either come through it or waft up to it. This one I could open and fly a kite from.
I approached it, touching the cool glass, and gazed out over the mirror reflection of the lake.
"Do you like it?" Nicole asked me, her arms crossed as she leaned against the window frame next to me. Jake stood to my other side, his hands deep in his pockets.
"It's…" I trailed off, distracted by the movement of loons on the lake, cutting tiny wakes into its surface. "Yes."
"Good," she replied, patting me on the shoulder as she turned to leave, a triumphant smile playing on her lips.
Jake "harrumphed" before he stuck a teasing finger in my ear on his way out. I swatted at his hand, leaning my face away in defense.
"I'll go get your things," he said, pausing at the door. "Want anything to eat?"
"I'm starving!" I replied with earnest. Turning from the beautiful scenery before me, I followed him out the door. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and we walked down the hallway together.
"Missed you, 'cous," Jake said, giving my shoulders a squeeze.
"Missed you, too," I replied, squeezing him back around his waist.
"Ah, it's good to see your reunion was a nice one," my dad proclaimed as we descended the stairs. "Are you planning to help bring these upstairs, or were you going to run off and do rebellious things?"
I rolled my eyes.
"I got it," Jake said, "You're the guests here!" He grabbed several of the bags of luggage, granted it was a couple more than an average person could carry, and began hauling them up the stairs.
I shrugged at my dad who stared after him, thoughtfully, and grabbed my own luggage, following Jake up to the second floor.
I struggled tremendously, and I could hear my dad's chuckles as he observed my difficulty with two bags, while Jake managed to carry four.
Oh, har har.
I dropped my luggage onto the floor of my room, not even bothering to turn on the light, and fell face-down onto the bed. I sighed deeply, turning my face to look out the large window. The moon, on its way toward the horizon to call it a night, gazed at me from its face as well as its reflection on the lake's glassy surface. Before long, I was asleep, and my dreams began to play back the moon, large and white with its cratered face and cool glow, tickling the surface of the lake and the branches of the trees. Everything in my dream seemed to sigh with contentment, and it didn't surprise me that I slept better that night then most other nights in my life previously. My grumbling tummy didn't even stand a chance.
I awoke the next morning, confused. I stared about me, bewildered by the bright light stretching across the room, and the unfamiliar smell of the pine walls. I blinked and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, yawning wide. Oh yeah, the cabin. I thought for a moment, stretching out my legs and allowing a long, satisfied moan to cross my lips, to just lie there for another few hours. I was prepared to roll over and drift off to sleep again, when Jake busted through the door, chomping on the remains of an English muffin. I yanked the bedclothes over my head, my eyes wide with shock, and peered at him over the edge of the sheet.
"Will! You still sleeping?" he inquired, stuffing what was left of his muffin in his mouth.
I spoke through the sheets, frightened by his entrance and embarrassed by the tank top and shorts I had worn to bed.
"Not anymore," I snapped, "as if anyone could sleep through that."
"Oh, right," he muttered. "Sorry."
He glanced uneasily around the room.
Before the silence got too awkward, I asked him what he wanted. "Hurry up so I can go back to sleep," I added.
He smiled briefly, and met my gaze.
"I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a hike," he replied. "Our dads are going fishing, our moms went into town to shop for souvenirs, and there's really not much else to do around here."
I speculated for a moment.
"Where's Nicole?" I asked. "Is she going?"
He shook his head. "No, she has to stay here and wait for Bryan."
I nodded, looking at my hands.
"Alright, just let me get dressed and eat something," I said, adding that he couldn't have any of my cigarettes before he had a chance to ask. I knew how fond he was of stealing mine whenever he could.
Jake walked away in a haughty manner, apparently pleased that he wouldn't have to spend the day entertaining himself. I threw off the sheets and rolled off to the floor, heading for the dresser to find suitable clothes for a hike. This, I wasn't surprised to find, was a daunting challenge.
Most of the things I had brought with me had been packed with the impression there would be many more opportunities to lie around in the sun, as if there were any sun to lay around in. I was utterly unprepared to venture in the woods, and the most appropriate attire I could find consisted of a pair of cropped pants, a light, long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of old, faded red Converse. I carried my shoes downstairs, after having tied my hair back into a tight bun, and groaned as I saw Jake, completely dressed like a true mountain man. I eyed his muddy boots and thick jeans with apprehension. I was surly not looking forward to this particular excursion. I cringed with the thought of how passionate Jake was when it came to the outdoors, and wondered how I would manage to keep myself alive.
Jake heard me enter the room, and chuckled quietly to himself when I sat down across from him in an armchair and pulled my old Chucks on.
"Is that really what you're planning on wearing?" he asked, trying without success to wipe the smirk off his face.
I rolled my eyes.
"Well when I'd left I hadn't been planning on traipsing through the woods the whole time," I replied.
He laughed again, adding, "Now's your chance to break out of that whole city attitude you've been harboring all these years."
I decided not to respond, satisfied to throw a glare in his direction, and then rose from my seat and wandered into the kitchen looking for early-morning nourishment. It was mostly empty, save for the bowl of fruit sitting on the little round wooden table, so I took the liberty of inspecting the pantry. Most everything I found inside needed time to be properly prepared and cooked. I turned my nose up to the task, and simply retrieved two pieces of bread and decided that was better than not eating anything at all. I returned to the den, taking a bite as I went.
Jake stood up and stretched as I approached, and declared it time to hit the forest. It made me a little nervous that he'd said "forest" instead of the normal "trail," and imagined myself stumbling through the underbrush with my hands thrust out in front of me to catch myself when I fell. I said nothing, and simply walked straight through the room and out the front door, which stood open.
Outside was more beautiful than I could have ever thought possible. I had thought the evening was stunning when we'd arrived, but upon seeing how the sunlight here shone more softly than it did at home, it took me a moment to remember how to breathe. The trees were a much brighter shade of green, as well, and the grass swayed and danced with the soft breeze that crept through.
Jake came up behind me, having shut the front door, and threw one giant arm around my shoulder. He really had grown since I'd last seen him. I felt very weak and simple under the weight of his arm. He mussed up my hair, and pulled me from the neck into a hug.
"I missed you, 'cous," he said, "Thanks for coming with me today."
I shrugged out of his hug, and smiled.
"No problem," was my only response. Being as close as we were, when I was away from him and Nicole it sometimes felt like my siblings were gone, too.
Jake headed off towards a break in the woods alongside the lake, and I followed slowly, enjoying the sunshine playing in my hair and the sound of the cicadas chirping from their hiding places. I really couldn't imagine anything more beautiful had I tried. The peace that emanated from every corner of the area was infectious, and I soon felt very at ease following Jake over the rocks and tree roots deeper into the woods.