"You've got to be joking!" I pulled away from my mother, trying to see if she was lying, with no luck. She held the strangers hand tightly and reached for mine but I took a step back in unbelief. I stared the couple down, "So you mean to tell me," I started, "that you two have been dating, the past month, and you," I said, pointing angrily at my mother, "didn't even have the guts to tell me about it!" I felt my voice rising to a shout. My mother's face fell but it didn't fool me. "It's not your burden to bear, I didn't want you to think-"
"What? Think that you were betraying Dad? Of course I would think that!" I felt tears stinging my eyes but it didn't stop me. "I don't even know my father and you're trying to make me think that this… man is going to replace him?" I spat out the last few words with poison, how I despised her and even my mother's "partner".
Steve, the man, shuffled uncomfortably on his feet and I could see the small beads of sweat trickle down his forehead. "Ummm… Ellola, is it?"
'Bastard, doesn't even know my name'
I gave him an icy glare but he still carried on, playing with his tie, how I hated him. "Well, your mothers right... I know how you feel. When my father started dating again, I felt like I would die..." I wanted to roll my eyes. His story of his unfortunate life and how miserable he had made his life by hating everyone and shutting himself away from the world. "Until I met your mother." With those words slipping out of his mouth I totally lost it, my mind beeping like crazy.
"You don't know anything about me and what happens in this house!" All my anger poured out of me. I know that it wasn't his fault but to be honest, just the sight of the man and my mum together made me want to puke. "Honey, now that's quite enough." I could see my mother's patience failing under all the embarrassment but she deserved it. I didn't really hate the guy, he wasn't that bad. Tall and tan, he had most of his dark hair left and what used to be a mo. He was muscular but had a gentle look about him. Just the rush of information about all this was kind of new and well, love just sucked...and it hurt.
"Mum, get this through your head! I don't want a new dad, I don't want a new life!" I saw her flinch and she remained silent, staring at the floor, still clutching Steve's hand. I carried on, "You never ask what I want, you always just go out and party and leave me at home to make my own food, clean up all your mess and lie to all your friends saying that you're alright and just at work." Tears stung my eyes, being reminded of my mothers problem was hard enough to think about but I couldn't stop, "You think that you are the only person in this world who has a problem, but did you ever stop to ask me if my dyslexia was getting worse or if I was ADHD, not that that even matters, NO you didn't, so stop trying to make your life better because it's making mine worse! I HATE YOU!"
After that I ran, trying to rip away the image of my mothers broken face and Steve staring at me, mouth open in horror. I climbed the stairs, blinded with my own tears and ran into my room. Slamming the door shut behind me I scrambled for my bed and screamed into my pillow, tears drenching the cloth. I lay on my bed for what seemed like hours, eyes sore from all the crying. I huddled against the wall, holding a pillow to my chest, trying to steady the pounding of my heart. Moonlight streamed through my open curtains, resting on my tired face and for some reason, I started to remember things I've tried to forget.
There was the time my mother started going crazy, where I found myself having nightmares about death and my mother, the time where I ditched all my friends to come to this stuffed up place so that my mother could be taken care of whenever she needed it. Seriously, my life is screwed up. I remembered the horrible memory of Jake and the things I thought were great that only contributed to my misery. The only thing that I found comforting about my memories was the smiling face of my father, at least, I think it was my father. His sea-green eyes and the gentle curve of his smiling lips, his familiar tan skin glowing like the stars and his wavy brown locks covering his forehead. If only things were different, I may have actually despised him for abandoning my mother and but since another man was entering my life, posing as my father, I only hated him for giving another man the chance to steal my mothers heart. The tears stopped and my eyes felt heavy, they drooped lower until the darkness enclosed me, feeling the cold envelope me like being pushed into an endless darkness of loneliness.