Chapter 1: Innocence Shattered
(Sydney POV)
I couldn't believe what Kendall was telling me. I mean…it just physically didn't make any sense. Vaughn wasn't dead, I knew it. I loved him, even though I don't believe I ever had the guts to say it, but I did. I loved him. And those feelings would let me know if he was gone, and they weren't.
He was missing; just missing.
I refused to use the term deceased, dead, departed, lifeless – anything that would take the vibrant thoughts of him from my mind.
My back was sore, my feet were numb, and I couldn't feel my butt. Running nearly ten miles after talking to Kendall probably wasn't a good idea; I'm now feeling the effects of this foolish little idea to run away my problems.
Weiss was there too. I don't think I've seen anyone look so crushed. Vaughn was like a brother to him, well…probably more of a brother than anyone, and they'd been through so much it seemed like a shame to have it end this way.
Deep down, I knew something like this might happen eventually. I never could get involved with anyone for too long before it ended badly. Bobby Fischer in eighth grade; probably turned gay after kissing his first girl on her porch and getting caught by Jack Bristow, crying openly as my dad gave him the patented Bristow glare and a few words of wisdom before sending the boy crying home.
Need we mention Danny? That relationship was doomed from the start.
I feel like a praying mantis, only I don't kill them and then eat their heads.
Well…except for Noah. I ended that one.
Now Vaughn.
But Vaughn was different. He wasn't like Danny, or anything like Noah. He was just…Vaughn.
The green eyes, the dimples, his hands. There was nothing about him that I didn't like.
But now everything felt hollow. I don't even feel the tears anymore; don't even know if they're still falling. Probably. I've always been an overly emotional woman, the CIA didn't change that, and it certainly didn't change with my fantastic life decisions.
I found myself curled up on the beach where Vaughn and I had walked earlier this week. There was a secluded spot where people didn't enjoy walking due to the many broken shells that tend to stab through the pads of your feet. But with flip flops, the place wasn't too bad.
He's not dead, he's just missing. This means that he can still be found, because he's alive. Right?
I yank my cell out of my pocket and call Eric.
"Weiss?"
"Sdny?" he slurred.
Great; he's drunk.
"I'm going to go find him, Weiss. Are you in?"
"'E's gone, Syd. Blood…"
"He's not gone damn it; he's still alive, and I'm going to find him. I'm not going to give up on him. He...he wouldn't give up on me." I'm sobbing now, yelling into the phone. If someone were walking by, I'm sure they'd call the police on me for breaking the noise ordinance.
"I'm in." Were his two words, and I didn't even bother to answer before I hung up and headed home; my protesting legs aching the entire way.
I was going to find him…I just didn't know where to start.
...