New DN story, new DN story, Ame-chan finally got a new DN story~ *Does happeh dance* I've been neglecting Death Note for far too long now. Naruto is re-taking over my life recently… Anyway, I think I got a pretty good plotline in this one, but if it sucks, let me know and I'll discontinue it, delete it, and erase all existing history or memories of it from everywhere in the world. And there's actually three categories for this, but as you know, I can kind of only choose two. This is really more of Romance/Drama/Humor, to be honest, but it was one of those ideas that pops up right before you go to bed and tortures you all night as you attempt to write it fast but good so you can go to sleep in peace and post it the next day. AU, and L isn't a genius detective (Still smarticles, but not as muchlies), but more of a slightly clumsy, adorable, innocent best friend of Light Yagami. ^_^ The images going through my brain during the writing made me 'aww' so much. He's kinda really OOC this whole story, but it just wouldn't be the same without it. So if you're against majorly OOC-L or yaoi, then leave now.

Disclaimer: Too tired to put anything funny or clever here, so I just don't own Death Note and let's leave it at that.

Warnings: Just a little bit of shounen ai, really nothing more than implications. Not even a kiss yet in this chapter, which is surprising, considering it's me who wrote it… *Must go rethink morals*

Summary: Light Yagami is an ordinary straight A student with an adorable, lovable best friend named L Lawliet who he likes a little more than the average friend really. But a serial killer named Beyond Birthday also has his eyes on L. LightxL BBxL AUish No Kira

"Light-kun, Light-kun!" L Lawliet called as he caught up to his best friend after the Eton H. Taed (1) high school bell rang loudly, signaling the end of the school day.

Light turned around and was immediately tackled by a young man with shaggy black hair that looked like he crawled out from under a bed and dark circles under his black, pupil-less eyes that made him look like he hadn't slept in days. "GAH! Oh, L, it's you. What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, noticing that his obsidian-eyed friend was clinging onto his shirt and sniffling softly. The brown haired boy blushed slightly at the extremely close contact.

"I had a bad day Light-kun…" He whimpered, burying his face in his shoulder. "I spilled cake all over my uniform at lunch, and then Matsuda accidentally ruined all of my notes for the test earlier today, so I almost failed that, and my little brothers blew up one of the classrooms at their school, so I have to pay for it!" He cried. L's little brothers Mello, Matt, and Near, were notoriously famous at their middle school for being the Three Musketeers of Doom and Destruction. They were all fraternal triplets.

Oldest out of the three was Mello, the obliterator, the destroyer, the violent one with frequent mood swings and chocolate cravings every ten minutes. Matt was second, and he was the type who messed with his victims' minds first, like he was a cat playing with the mouse before he ate it. He set up elaborate pranks and took care of most of the technological work. Third was Near, the allover brains of the group. He thought of the plots, made plans, and was mainly reclusive, but the most dangerous; you never knew what he was going to do to you and when. And poor L, he was their big brother in charge of keeping them all in line.

"Oh, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay." Light patted his head comfortingly. "How about we go and get some cake and coffee over at the café around the block, m'kay?" He suggested. L looked up at him, eyes sparkling.

"Really Light-kun? Thank you!" He smiled sweetly, hugging him.

Light blushed again. It wasn't L's fault he was so lovable and innocent, or that he had no sense of personal space, or that he could be adorably hilarious without meaning to, or that Light was in love with him. Yes, Light liked guys. He blames his ex girlfriend Misa Amane. Creepy little stalker… He didn't care if she was beautiful and famous or not, she was still a tad too obsessive, to the extent of sneaking outside of his house, watching him through the windows from nearby trees, and even building a shrine to him in her basement, which he somehow woke up in one day, tied to a chair. But let's not bring back frightening old memories like that…

Five minutes later the boys were walking into the small café nearby the school. The door rang with two soft 'ding's as it opened and shut again. Light noticed that the lady at the counter had been staring at him the whole time he was walking in, and—

"Oh god no!" Light hissed. "That's Misa!" He whispered to his friend. He had forgotten that the crazy blond ex-model worked here. She gazed after him lustfully, but glared at L and the close proximity the black haired boy was to her supposed 'boyfriend'. He had to think of something fast to keep her away. "Err… uh… quick! L! Grab my arm and pretend you're my boyfriend or something!" He said hurriedly.

L's eyes grew wide. "What?"

"L, it's Misa! You know what she'll do to me! Just pretend, okay!" He said, frightened half to death at the look the young woman was giving him.

L shrugged and hung onto the other boy's arm in a seemingly loving way. Nobody deserved to be tortured by the evil that was Misa Amane, even if it meant pretending to be in a relationship with his best friend.

They went and sat down at a table to the right, and Misa came up to take their order. "What can I get you boys?" She asked, mostly staring at the brunette, who resisted the urge to run screaming.

L had just as strong a dislike of her from past meetings, and answered very convincingly. "My boyfriend and I would like two coffees, a slice of angelfood cake with whipped cream, strawberries, cherries, and chocolate syrup on top, and a blueberry bagel, please." He glared slightly at her, holding Light's arm a little tighter just for the effect. He knew what Light's usual favorite order was (The blueberry bagel), so he didn't even have to ask. Truthfully, the only reason he spoke up was so that he could order, because he knew Light didn't approve of his usual sugary diet and would force him something a tad healthier.

Misa looked shocked at the 'boyfriend' part, but shook it off and gritted her teeth. "Will that be all?"

"Oh, and fifteen sugar packets if you will, thank you very much." L added, smirking.

Light inwardly groaned. He had to get his friend to eat real food once in a while…

óóóóóóóó

Across the room, a young man with black hair hidden by a grey beanie and crimson eyes with brown contacts over them covered with a pair of dark sunglasses. He put his newspaper up by his face and grimaced at the nearness of the two boys. Jealousy overwhelmed his senses, and he found himself wanting to go over there and stab the brunette right through the heart for being that close to his property. Nobody should be allowed to even so much as touch L Lawliet except for him…

Turning his attention back to the newspaper in his hands as a form of a distraction from them, he noticed an interesting caption in front of him. It read, "Wanted; escaped serial killer on the loose, brutally murdered three already, one million dollars reward for bringing him in dead or alive." The picture it went with was a mug shot of a young man with an insane crooked grin and wide red eyes. His shirt was bloodstained and just completed the allover horror of the look. 'Beyond Birthday' was the name written there.

It was things like those that made the man want to laugh out loud, seeing the 'dead or alive' part. Made him feel like he was in an old western, looking up at a wanted poster of himself.

Beyond looked back up at the 'couple' across the room. The brunette had noticed the blond girl watching him and was currently feeding his Lawliet with a content look on his face. Beyond's almost non-existent heart wanted to melt when L got whipped cream on the tip of his nose and had giggled cutely. But then it froze colder than an icicle again when the other boy had actually leaned forward and licked it off.

óóóóóóóó

Over with the boys, L's face flushed redder than the strawberry juice that was slowly staining the top of the angelfood cake as Light realized what he'd just done. "Light-kun, what was that for?" He questioned, utterly bewildered.

"Er, sorry L… but Misa didn't look like she was believing us, and I thought it'd help with the acting. Really sorry." Light defended himself casually, slightly embarrassed about himself. He honestly hadn't meant to do that, but he had gotten too far into the role, and besides, it was L. Hard to resist doing that when you have such an adorable face staring innocently up at you. "But Misa looks like she's about to explode." He pointed inconspicuously at her.

It was true, the blond looked like her head was about to blast off into space with a trail of blazing flames following after it, where it would land on another planet and be experimented on by aliens. There was practically steam coming out of her ears.

The whipped cream incident forgiven and forgotten (L wasn't one to hold grudges for longer than two and a half minutes), they paid for their food and left with an angry ex-model staring hatefully at their retreating figures.

óóóóóóóó

As soon as the bell rang when the door closed, Beyond Birthday stood up and made his way to the front counter. Instead of paying for the strawberry jam filled doughnut he had bought, he leaned over the counter and pinched a nerve in the girl's neck. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped to the ground, unconscious. He chuckled and walked out of the café, a safe distance behind the two other boys.

L Lawliet would be his soon enough. But first he had to get rid of that pesky brunette that seemed to be so fond of him. And he'd literally do anything to get to what he wanted.

(1): Eton H. Taed = Death Note backwards. Really. XD I was running out of creativity right there, so as soon as I thought of that, I started cracking up, even though it's not that funny. Did anyone get it before they read this though?

So, so far, both Light-kun and Biyondi-chan love L. Tough decision, if you ask me. But L hasn't even met BB-kinz yet! :O We're gonna have to fix that, perhaps in the next chapter, that is, if anyone reviews. -_- I'll really post the next one as soon as I get five reviews.