What does it take to get you? If I never met you I wouldn't have ran across the country like I'm out of my mind. What does it take to hold you, when I'm here without you? I don't know where to start… I've got to find your heart, before it falls apart. -davedays

You're probably thinking that, with this title, I'm going to tell you things… and you're right. I might say 'I'm not who I say I am,' but that's way too cliché. For all we know… hmph. It's useless trying to explain something so complicated, and you're probably saying something about how I made it this complicated, and how it was so simple in the first place. Then, who exactly am I? I dunno… could you tell me?

I bet you know her. She's so popular, with tons of friends. How did I get into this situation? Who knows… but she was the reason. She was the real reason why I did what I did. The reason why I smiled, the reason why I was 'stupid', as the storm guardian says. She held my interests for a whole year. We were best friends… or so I thought. She was the reason why I got into the activities that I did that year, so we'd have something to talk about, something to laugh together about, but it's no use anymore. My passion for these hobbies dwindled, much to the sadness, and remorse, of my peers. All I really want to do is sit, and talk with her, and laugh again. I want things to be the way they were before.

Sometimes, when I remember the memories we had together (Which is all the time), I grin like a maniac, and gaze foolishly out at the horizon, no matter where I am. Why did we turn out this way? From best friends, to… this? I knew we had to go our separate ways eventually, me being a whole year older than her and all, but still. She could stay in my world just as easily as I could stay in hers… I miss her.

SO what if I'm too naïve to see the "real reasons" that she claims are there? Does it really mean that I'm stupid? So what if I'm stupid? Passion can blind a person… its not that difficult. That doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you anymore… If anything, I want to ask you… why? I'd love to talk to you for hours on end, laughing at the stupid things we've done, but… if you've already replaced me, what can I do, but watch from a distance? I'll feel embarrassed to just interrupt what you've got going on. Just because I'm naïve and stupid doesn't mean I'm a complete idiot… just socially awkward.

I think you know me, right? Always grinning, following you around like a puppy with big, innocent (fiiine… not so innocent, but still) brown eyes, doing whatever you want, just say the word. You do know that I'll fight for you to the death, right? As long as I breathe, I'll swear to protect you, unless you forcefully shove me away, or… this. I didn't want this… but … what can I do?

My mind still, even now, a whole year after I met her, revolves around her. She's an amazing person, and I valued her deeply as a best friend, maybe even more so… almost like my sister. She scolds me for not talking to her in the hallways, but its not like I can go up to her while she's talking to someone else… she's ignored me for doing that, actually… not like it matters anymore. We barely see each other anymore as is, with our busy schedules and all.

She's so…. Popular. So many 'best friends', I'm one of many… but I don't get it. If I dedicate my life to her like a player of that mafia game should, I'm not asking for much in return, just a pat on the head saying I did a good job… but now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Man… this emotional stuff is for girls.

So… you mind telling me who I am, exactly? You see my taller-than-average-ness, even though I'm Asian. Yes, I have black hair and brown eyes, with slender, tapered fingers that do not really fit me. Tan? I guess you could call it that. I've been called baka before, too. Does that help?

Yamamoto Takeshi, you say? That would explain the naivety, the smiles, and the overall stupidity for something so simple… but why the hell am I a girl?

AND THEN I REALIZED ITS NOVEMBER. OH CRAP.

Sorry I was gone so long... college apps. yay. COLLEGE. I wanna go to sleep. so yeaaaaaah. a little fic. for yew. And yes, this is how I feel. too lovely. lessthanthree. I miss her, I really do. Im not gonna say it, but she's my bestfriend, even though I really am one of many. :P One day... Lol.