AN: So This Lovely Archive Fic came about when I picked a random pairing- a Threesome in this case, from my super secret pairing list (Very Scary by the way.. It's Huge, epic man) And then shuffled my ipod. After the initial song I kept going. It's still ongoing but I'll space posting the Chapter's out. I hope you enjoy!

PS: I don't own any character's you recognize readily, even though I wish I did. I'll return them gently used of course…. After a bath. Hehe

Pairing: Alexander Harris/Angel/ Dean Winchester

Song: Alice (Underground)

Title: Hell Doesn't Want Me

Chapter One: Perception and Escape

Hell… Fiery burning torture, never-ending pain with one goal. To make you make the deal for your soul. Dean Winchester was there because he traded himself for his baby brother, and they still wanted something else from him. Through a situation of chance he wasn't the only 'innocent' his part of purgatory. Alexander 'Xander' Harris had taken the leap for his best friend's lover, closing Acathla with the blood covered sword as Buffy embraced her newly souled lover, refusing to send him into hell even as the portal expanded. Unlike Dean though the devil had tried and failed, had been cowed by Xander's soul and the add-ons. He wasn't alone there, the hyena, who was a primal goddess that even Lucifer feared, and the first Slayer had his back. He however was stuck for the moment, although he was working on it.

Xander first found out about Dean when he followed the screams. After a bit of watching he was convinced that he had to take Dean with him when he made his escape. Step one was to make sure the elder man didn't break under torture, and so he introduced himself to the chain impaled man. That first meeting, and the following stake out didn't go well at first, until Dean realized that he was telling the truth and that Alastair wouldn't go near him.

-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-

Dean was panting from Alastair's latest round of torment when he heard something. He ignored the noise at first, thinking it was one of the lesser demons coming to annoy him again. He winced as thick finger's traced a chain that pierced his body and shot whoever it was a glare. He was surprised to see a human like figure, they hadn't tried it with that guise, other than Alastair that is.

"What do you want?" He wheezed. The 'man' looked at him for a moment not saying anything, then he reached up and caressed Dean's face.

"You impress me. Not many could stand up to Big Red and stick their ground. When I leave I take you." The 'man' said disjointedly, it didn't sound like he had talked much lately. Dean scoffed at his declaration, there was no way that he was getting tricked by this trap.

"For what? My soul?" he growled, not wanting to play around. The man looked surprised by his question, acting like it wasn't exactly what he had been thinking about, or so Dean thought.

"Ew. So not into that. I'll stick around you, keep Ally at bay. I scare him." He replied, his tones confusingly that of a teen one minute and serious the next. Dean rolled his eyes, sure he didn't want his soul.

"Yeah right. So what are you?" he asked, trying not to like having someone to talk to without pain. It had been too long since he had an almost normal conversation. The 'man' glared at him.

"I'm human, Alexander Lavelle Harris, Sunnydale California, and I'm here because I saved the world. I will leave and Ally-boy is terrified of me. I was a hunter, the White knight. I've survived vampires, demons, possessions and mystical transformations. I will leave, and you are coming with me." He said drolly. The first part sounded like a mantra. The name sounded familiar but as Harris moved from his view he put it out of his mind. When Alastair didn't come after the appointed time Dean was confused, until the second time came and he heard a roar of anger.

"Harris, move!" Alastair's voice thundered. He heard Harris make a hyena like laugh.

"Naw, I'm comfortable, and unless you want Akesha to tear you apart I suggest leaving pretty boy here alone. I like him, so I'm taking him with me when you finally get tired of avoiding me, or I find a way outta here. K Ally-girl?" Harris chortled. Lucy growled.

"You cannot take this man. I have his soul fair and square, and he is needed to obtain the things I need for above ground." He hissed. Harris laughed, a frightening, almost hyena like sound.

"I know you want him for something, but I don't think your minions whisper and murmur about me being the one who sees for nothing. I claim this man and whatever prophecy or apocalypse you have planned involving him will be broken, mark my words." He replied. Alastair growled and then everything was quite. Alastair didn't come. Dean waited for a long time before sighing.

"Harris, what did you do to keep him away?" He finally asked. Harris popped up in front of him grinning.

"He tried his whole big bad, but I can be bigger and badder. By the way, why do you keep yourself chained? Hell is all about perception. If you perceive no chains there will be no chains." He murmured. Dean stared at him and then thought of no chains. Harris caught him as he fell, and then suddenly there was a jerk. Harris looked him in the eyes and smiled.

"There you are. I won't let anything happen to you and we will get out of here." Harris promised in a murmur. Dean felt weird. Everything in him was telling him not let Harris go, which made no sense. He had thought that this man was a demon not too long ago and now he wanted.. what? What did he want? Suddenly Harris's name ran through his mind again, and he realized where he had heard it.

"You normally go by Xander don't you Harris. The hunting world was up in arms after word of your death and the circumstances around it. Last I heard the wiccan in your group had finally found the ingredients she needed to summon you back. Is that your escape plan, wait for her?" He asked. Xander made a face.

"I wasn't counting on her- she's closer to Buffy now a days and I figured Miss Slayer would be pissed that I lied to her to make her fight her unsoiled vampire lover." He muttered. "I will escape or annoy Ally enough for him to boot me out." Dean looked at him.

"The watcher and witch tore into the slayer when she started bitching after saying that you made it right by going through the portal. Hell even the vampire had words with her. A couple hunters took up residence on the hell mouth after she bolted." He replied. Xander didn't have time to reply again as another jerk made itself known. This time it was stronger and the surroundings blurred. Xander grinned at him suddenly as things went back to as normal as hell can be. He held onto Dean tighter.

"Looks like I have great timing. Dig yourself out of whatever grave you were in quickly pretty boy and remember to look me up." He murmured, before pressing a kiss to the shocked man's lips. Dean groaned, arching into the hold even as he wondered why he was responding. He pulled away long enough to speak.

"My name is Dean." He gasped. "Dean Winchester." The Jerk was almost painful and then everything went black.

-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-

Once he was aware of his surrounding he looked at the statue that started it all. With a burst of energy from Akesha she destroyed the ugly hell key before his eyes started drooping. He shouldn't have done that, because now whatever reserves he had before, were gone and he was going to pass out in a crypt. Talk about vamp chow. He fought the oncoming unconsciousness as long as he could, before his world went dim. He woke to cold arms around him, and a cold body beneath him- Vampire. He stiffened slightly, and a kiss of all things was pressed against his forehead.

"It's alright Xander- Willow and Giles are coming, just stay calm. You're back. You're safe." Was whispered soothingly. It was Angel. He relaxed fractionally.

"How?" He whispered, surprised when his voice came out ragged. Angel inhaled sharply as he spoke.

"Willow. She found a way to get you back. We were all at you're grave, where they buried the sword Buffy ran me through and you took my blood from, you had cut yourself also. It had the strongest connection to you, but when you didn't appear there we had to spread out to find where you would have appeared. I chose here because it made the most sense." He replied. Xander nodded, trying to pay attention to him. He was so tired. Angel seemed to notice and shifted him slightly.

"I need you to stay awake Xander. I know you're tired, but you've just gotten out of hell and you have a concussion." He murmured. Xander nodded, he didn't really feel anything at the moment, but it was probably shock. There was a noise at the door, and angel actually sighed in relief.

"Good Lord." That was Giles, and he must look bad.

"Xander. It worked, goddess, it worked. We need to get you to the hospital." Willow breathed, he could hear the panic under her voice. Angel stood, taking him with him. Xander fell back into the Darkness as he was carried from the crypt where he lost his life.

-With Dean- With Dean- With Dean- With Dean-

Dean gasped as he woke to complete darkness. Immediately Harris' words came back to him, although he didn't remember too much more. He began kicking upwards, until the wood of his coffin splintered, and then he maneuvered his way around to the hole he had made, his muscles feeling as weak as a lamb. He got to work digging upward, keeping his breathing calm, even as dirt fell into his face. It felt like the digging took forever, and he could barely bring air into his burning lungs, but finally he made it out.

After he pried his body out of the ground fully, he lay, gasping for air. After he calmed, he checked his surroundings. He was in a fucking field. When he found Sammy he was going to kill the brat. Slowly, painfully he dragged himself up, and started walking. He vaguely remembered the way out of the field so he wasn't too lost. When he got to the road someone stopped.

"Oh my God are you alright? Here, let me help you. Crap, we need to get you to the hospital man." A teen babbled, maneuvering him into a car. Dean was too tired to fight. The kid tried keeping him awake by talking with him on the way to the hospital. He passed out all the same though.

- Back to Alex- Back to Alex-Back to Alex-

Xander woke in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. As soon as he moved, Willow was hovering over him.

"How are you feeling Xander?" She whispered. He looked at her for a couple moment, not talking. The last he had seen of her, she was a strict buffy Advocate. He still didn't understand why she had saved him. She frowned.

"Xander?" She asked. He sighed.

"I feel like I've been in hell." He grunted out. She flinched.

"I'm so sorry I didn't get you out sooner. The spell ingredients were hard to find, and I had to get together people who had a connection to you and cared." She babbled slightly. He sighed and looked away.

"I wasn't counting on any of you to find a way. I was saving myself because you, all of you put Buffy before me any day. I lied to save the world, and I died to do the same." He replied ruffly, before looking straight at her. "I don't know how long I was there, but don't expect me to thank any of you. I know exactly where I stand with all of you. I'm the Zeppo, the idiot, the comedic relief. You probably only got me back out of guilt or to make yourselves feel good." He added. She looked stunned. When she didn't reply he snorted, a knowing glint in his eyes. There was a noise at the door, a gasp, and the squeak of glasses being cleaned.

"Alexander Lavelle Harris!" Buffy's mom scolded. "Don't you ever think that. I don't know much of the dynamics of your friendship with my daughter, but I do know that they have underappreciated you. Willow, she's missed you more than anything in the world, and so has Mr. Giles and your friend Angel. My daughter may have run away in the face of her actions, but every one of us has missed you." She said firmly. Giles was nodding but Xander just wasn't having it.

"I don' know what they have been telling you, but in the last while I have barely been tolerated, let alone friends with them. I don't know if Buffy or Willow knew it, but I've heard them talking about me. And Angel? He's tried killing me several times. My Giles here barely tolerated me, and you, I really appreciated you being there for me, especially since my own parents rank about as high as amoeba. But even you didn't see me as much more as a friend of your daughter's" He murmured. She marched forward, as everyone stood in stunned silence and glared at him.

"You have no idea how Mr. Giles or myself feel about you young man. You were more than a friend of my daughter's to me. You were a young man who needed a family, because like you said yours are crap. When I heard what had happened, when I got the full story from a sobbing Willow as my daughter was running from her own damn mistakes, I mourned you. I paid for the head stone as your parents cashed in the life insurance policy for their own uses. I made sure they knew they were not welcomed in this town any longer. You were missed." She said harshly. He wasn't impressed. Giles cleared his throat.

"Xander. I understand your anger at us. Our behavior towards you before your… death was unforgivable. We took you for granted. I know I never gave you the appropriate training that one who is in the profession we are should have had, and for that I apologize. When you died however, everyone of us realized what our behavior had contributed to, among other things. We worked as hard as we could to bring you from hell." He said steadily. Xander snorted.

"Everything that you have just said, cements the only reason for you to have 'saved me' as guilt. You felt guilty for whatever reason. I know Willow's big thing was she didn't want to lose someone else and guess what? Unlike Jesse I wasn't dust in the wind. She could get me back so she did, and now everyone expects life to go back to normal right? Heh fat chance." He responded. Willow was crying now, and Joyce had a look in her eyes. She moved Willow away.

"We're going about this all wrong. He's just been through a major trauma and we are not helping by doing this." She informed everyone, before turning to Xander.

"Rest up Xander. We'll be back later. You've been through a lot and we shouldn't be pressing you for forgiveness or anything of the lot. Not yet. You need to focus on getting better first, and then we can explain ourselves." She said gently. He looked at her dully. He didn't know why they expected everything to be status quo. She didn't respond to his stare, but instead lead everyone from the room. Xander lay by himself for a few moments before reaching for the phone. He knew someone who would know Dean Winchester, and Dean would need help, someone he could trust. As he dialed the phone he reached out to a Uncle, his birth family, not the people who had adopted him and facilitated his growth.

"Bobby Singer. Who the Hell Is This?" A gruff voice answered. Xander chuckled, his laugh horse.

"Still not a people person Uncle Bobby?" He whispered. There was a sharp inhalation at the other end of the line.

"Stop using my nephew's voice. He's dead." Bobby hissed out, anger clear in his tone of voice. Xander snorted.

"Please you idjit. I died sealing Acathla I get it. Pretty hard to come back from that, But you know my life here in Sunnydale, and exactly who I worked with. It seems they didn't accept my death and the wiccan worked her earth based magic's and brought me back. I wasn't alone though. When I was down there I met one of your charged, one of John's Boys. Dean. His soul came along for the ride. I'd look around the area you guys buried him in, and the hospitals. Once you confirm what I said, come get me. I'm in the damned hospital weak as a kitten." He replied gruffly. There was a pause.

"Dean died after you did kid. If you're telling the truth damn right I'm coming to get you. Have to make sure you aren't possessed or anything don't I and besides I don't know if I could stomach losing you again to those idiots mistakes." Bobby replied, his voice softening slightly. When the line went dead Xander hung up and closed his eyes. He fell into a deep sleep as his hyena friend started healing him, finally strengthened enough to do so.