Date Posted
Saturday the 23rd of August 2008

Blanket Disclaimer
I, for reasons unknown, do not own Death Note or any relating characters, objects, or places. I would ask the person who originally drew up the Manga for ownership, although that would obviously end up as a very blatant "No.".

Spoilers:
Episode 25

Matsuda's Gift
Written by Shadow in the Shadow

Prologue

Today was it.

Something in my mind told me that today was it. Maybe it was my natural instincts, making the church bells chime in my head. Or maybe I could always tell that these days were to be my last. After all, with Kira on the loose, any day could be any criminal or investigator's last. But today... the feeling was stronger than usual. A sick feeling in my stomach and the chiming in my head all told me that I'd better tie the loose ends up now, before it was too late.

Head spinning, I pulled himself out of bed from the first decent amount of sleep I'd had in a long time. I could see rain pouring down outside, lightening arcing across the sky, thunder rumbling warningly overhead. Sitting in my usual unusual position on my chair, I looked outside innocently at the building storm.

"So today is the day I lose..."

The rain became even heavier, almost responding to my statement. I sighed deeply; I had a lot planned out but still unfinished.

"I guess it doesn't matter now; it can't be helped – even without the gut feeling there is still logically a 95 percent chance that I will end up dying today, or some time very soon. I need some tea."

Steadily, I lifted myself from my seat and made the tea in my kitchen, making sure to put no-less than five cubes of sugar in with it. As I took a sip, I decided that it wasn't quite sweet enough, and added yet another cube.

As far as I was concerned, I knew that I had about one more day to catch Light as Kira. I also knew that there was a miserable 0.6 percent chance that that would actually happen.

Contemplating my own thoughts, I sipped my tea while still holding the handle in an odd position. Once I'd finished it, there was still sugar residue in the bottom from all of the sugar cubes I'd added. Without hesitating, I put my littlest finger in, scooping the sugar off and sucking it off from my finger. As far as I was concerned, death was just infinite nothingness – a place where you could quite obviously receive no tea, sugar, cakes or other sweet pastries. So I knew that I'd better make the most of it now while I wasn't lost in oblivion.

Well, at least I was prepared. I knew that Watari would look after everything just fine – and if something should happen to him, he was going to wipe all the computers of their information. It would be up to Mello and Near to catch Kira then – and they were certainly capable... even if they both had their flaws.

"Stop thinking so morbidly." I suddenly scolded myself, shaking my head. "It's just a gut-feeling..." It was then that it really dawned on me that my gut-feelings were generally right from the moment they entered the pit of my stomach. And thinking of stomach...

I eyed the refrigerator with interest, knowing that there was a variety of assorted cakes and muffins in there. As I pulled the fridge open, there was also the sound of the lift to my floor of the building opening up.

"Ryuuzaki... you're still in pajamas?" Light asked. "It's ten am already. You've got to get down and keep investigating Kira with us. Besides, weren't you the one who never sleeps?"

"I sleep for three hours a day every day of the year, and yet you are complaining when I finally get nine hours?" I asked him, slightly irritably. Normally I was hard to irritate, but in the mornings when I just get out of bed, somebody interrupting my chain of thoughts can annoy me to know extent.

"...Oh... yeah, sorry. It's just... I have a good feeling about today, you know? Despite all of the bad weather, of course. I just can't help but feel as though something major will happen."

Major, such as you successfully murdering me, Kira.

"Light, just let me have my breakfast and then I'll come down." I said, pulling an already cut slice of cake from the fridge. "I can't do all this thinking on an empty stomach, you know."

"I'd never let you loose in a bakery..." Light said, light-heartedly rolling his amber-coloured eyes. "I'll meet you down there."

I'll meet you there too... But I'd sincerely like to know if I was talking to Light Yagami or Kira.

I was definitely talking to Kira. When Light had mentioned that he thought that something major would happen, I saw Kira in those no-longer amber but red, angry eyes. There was no doubt in my mind.

Ignoring my gut feeling, I took my pyjamas off and finally put on my usual shirt and jeans. Today, I just didn't feel like investigating, for the first time in my life. My mind kept wandering to other, less desirable things other than catching Kira, like an image of myself lying limp on the floor at Kira's hand...

The day went slowly, to say the least. I decided that I should get the notebook away from Light's hands as soon as possible... something that was more easily said than done. However... I did have a plan – that thirteen day rule just didn't match up, or both Light and Misa would be as good as dead by now. But neither were, which didn't just suggest, but proved that the rule was false. So I told Watari that we would test it with two criminals who were about to be executed – which would also get the notebook away from Light's hands, effectively killing two birds with one stone.

Once I told the taskforce about the plan, they objected, saying that they all already knew that the Death Note was for real. However... I ignored their protest against it, finally finishing by firmly stating that the case would be solved... for good.

However... things began to go wrong. Very wrong. All the lights in the room became red as the emergency signal. I stared at Watari through the video transmitter...

He was having a heart attack.

"Watari!"

The older dying man reached out with his last ounce of strength, pushing the complete data deletion button. When the message finally appeared on the screen, I knew that Watari was dead.

"Data deletion... what the hell's going on?!"

"...I told Watari... to make sure that he erased all information in the event that something would happen to him."

I ignored the shocked gasps and comments from the other members of the taskforce, knowing the only being that could have done it, as Light was in the same room and had not written in the Death Note, and he did not know my name, either.

"Where's the Shinigami?" I asked quickly. Nobody could see it – it wasn't in the room anymore. The bells, they began to ring louder and louder. For the first time in my life, I began to panic, but made sure I was still thinking clearly. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, but I didn't let it distract me. "Everyone, the Shiniga-!"

There was a horrible throb in my chest, but I didn't even need that to tell me what was happening. The spoon I was holding for my cake slid from my fingers while I was unable to hold myself upright anymore. The pain was incredible – my eyes were open wider than I had ever let them be before, and I couldn't even summon the strength to clutch my throbbing heart.

"Ryuuzaki!" Light yelled, catching me just before I hit the ground. His eyes looked those of a scared child, unsure of what to do.

...Light Yagami...

Suddenly, the scared child's eyes flashed and changed. They became narrowed into two red-ringed circles, their owners face becoming a twisted grin.

So... I...

My strength was quickly slipping away. I briefly wondered how long it would take before I was lost to this world.

I wasn't wrong...

I could barely keep my eyes open any longer – they felt so heavy... the world was spinning...

But... ... I...

I slipped out of consciousness as the world shifted from spinning to nothing. There was literally nothing left to grasp onto, not life, not a heartbeat, not a breath... not even pain. The only thing that I knew of now was thought – I couldn't feel, all I could do was think...

You won, Kira.

I couldn't even determine time anymore – wherever I was... nothingness... it was timeless. It could have been hours, days, weeks, months... years that I was in this state and I wouldn't have been able to determine the difference. I couldn't tell – it was nothingness to the full extent of the word. It wasn't even black – I couldn't see at all.

Eventually... after who-knows how long, the infinite darkness spun back into existence. Was... was I getting somewhere? It was most-certainly a change from seeing literally nothing. Time began to start making a little more sense; I had a very faint idea on how much of it was passing. I began to wonder if I could bring it all back, so I tried to focus properly and pull my consciousness out from inside the void.

I had no idea how I was doing it, but it was slowly working. Outlines of moving shapes began to become visible, although it was still very hard to make it all out. It took a painstakingly long amount of time before I could see properly again and to regain my sense of touch, but at least I could.

Suddenly, a thought crossed my slightly dazed mind. I had survived the Death Note? No one had survived Kira, and yet I had...?

Light Yagami, who was still clutching my limp form, screamed at the top of his lungs that he and the rest of the taskforce were coming next. Everyone braced themselves as I looked around weakly. Couldn't they see that my eyes were open and that I was conscious...?

After a little while, they all began to calm down. But I was beginning to wonder why they weren't realising that a Kira victim had just woken up from the dead. Steadily, I tried to move one of my arms, but it felt like it was glued in place. I tried harder to move, getting barely anywhere. I strained to pull myself to my feet and out of Light's hold, finally able to move again. At that moment, I had a very horrible realisation – I had never reawakened from Kira's attack. I looked down with interest and slight repulsion at my old limp form from just above it, my mouth open ever-so slightly. I was usually a lot more hardened than this and able to cope with shock quite easily, but it's a whole different experience when the most recent Kira victim was yourself, and you were hanging in midair with no support.

All that anyone payed any attention to was the me that quite simply wasn't me anymore. Except for Matsuda - he gazed at me for a moment, his breaths quickening. He swallowed, and then returned his attention back to where everyone else's attention lay to avoid questioning glances.

I watched the man closely, ignoring Light's screams that Kira would pay for what he'd done – it was obvious they were blatant lies anyway. I knew what had just happened to me and, although but... had it been a fluke that Matsuda had been staring at the place where I was suspended in midair? With that look of pure shock painted across his face?

Matsuda could see me, at least. Maybe, through him, I could prove that Light Yagami was Kira, even without a physical form. I knew very well that it wasn't going to be easy, especially through Matsuda's innocent mind, but so far, I could see it as the only way.

Now another question came to mind – because he could see me, did that mean he could hear me? Or for that matter, what if everyone else could hear me, too?

I'd just have to find out.

Author's Note
This is my first Death Note fanfiction, so I'm hoping that so far it's going well. I do intend to update as regularly as possible, and I know that I'd sincerely appreciate any constructive criticism you can throw at me. Flames are not appreciated, however. So... cookies to reviewers with kind words, or words of advice!
Just two little extra notes: I use Australian English, not American English. I checked this through a few times, so if you spot a mistake or two, it's more than likely that it's spelled differently here than America. Secondly, I don't particularly like slash, or romance in general really. So I'm afraid that you're going to have to get the romance fix somewhere else.
-Shadow in the Shadow-