I just wanted to write something light, fun, and realistic with Jane and Lisbon, so here is the result! Let me know what you think and if you have any other ideas for what I can write involving my favorite characters :) Thanks to all my loyal readers, I hope you enjoy!
"What if I had died?"
Teresa Lisbon took another slice of leftover closed-case pizza out of the fridge in the break room. It was after hours, and she was preparing to leave for the night, the last one, as always.
"Then I'd have a hell of a lot less paperwork to fill out on your behalf," she replied, taking a bite of the pizza while grabbing a water bottle.
Patrick Jane was referring to the most recent of his many escapades that had nearly resulted in his death. He had pushed a powerful lawyer just a bit too far… And it just so happened that this lawyer was also the murderer with anger problems.
"Really, Lisbon, what would have happened if I had died?" Jane pressed, his hands tucked in his suit pocket as he slouched against the doorway.
"Well, let me see, Jane," Lisbon answered, as she turned from the fridge and took another bite of the pizza. "Paperwork would decrease dramatically, my boss would be off my ass about controlling you, I'd have to deal with a lot less complaints… Do you want me to continue?"
Jane's eyes danced and his lips curved upward a bit as he looked at Lisbon.
"Your life would be boring, is basically what you're saying," he concluded, grinning now.
Lisbon only shook her head and walked toward the door he was blocking. "It would be easy," she said, slightly amused at her partner's behavior.
"Easy," Jane scoffed at the idea as the two made eye contact. "Lisbon, you have a little . . ." Without thinking, (but what else was new for Jane, really) he reached a hand out and gently placed his index finger at the corner of her lip and wiped tomato sauce off of her face. Lisbon blushed.
"Without me around, you'd be going home with a tomato-stained face," Jane stuck his finger inside his mouth and smiled. "Ah, the best stuff around."
Lisbon rolled her eyes and attempted to push her way past her consultant.
"If I had died— " Jane didn't get a chance to finish as Lisbon turned around and faced him.
"You weren't going to die, Jane."
"He had one of those deadly contraptions pointed at my head, Lisbon."
"You mean a gun?"
"Ugh, if you want to call it the technical term," Jane said, shivering. Lisbon shook her head at his fear of guns and conflict, even though he brought it all upon himself.
"The point is, I was there, the team was there. I wasn't going to let you die, Jane."
"Oh, but you waited that long to come in and save me? Gee, thanks, Lisbon. Great entry. Suspenseful, really," Jane said, tossing his wavy blonde hair.
Lisbon rolled her eyes again. "We had to have something to hold him on!"
"So you sent me as bait? Why not Rigsby?" Jane said, a teasing tone to his voice.
Lisbon took a step closer to Jane, still holding her pizza, and poked him in the chest. "Because Rigsby is a good agent," she said, her lips curved up slightly in a smirk, as she started to walk away.
"Well, excuse you, Lisbon!" Jane exclaimed, in mock hurt. He reached out and swiped some cheese and tomato sauce off of her pizza.
"Hey!" Lisbon whipped around and Jane wiped the sauce off his fingers and across her forehead. He grinned at her victoriously.
"Now who's going to get that off?" he said, starting to walk past her.
"Jane, get it off," she said through clenched teeth. "You egotistical, self-absorbed idiot."
Jane's eyes danced with glee as his face lit up. "Yep, you'd miss me," he said, walking back to her.
"I should have let that creep shoot you and get rid of you while we had the chance," she muttered.
"Ah, but imagine the paperwork then," Jane said. He reached his finger up and gently swiped at the tomato sauce. He stroked his index finger across her forehead, wiping it clean. He was so gentle, getting every last trace of it off of her face.
"See?" he said, popping his finger in her half-open mouth to her great surprise. Her eyes wide, she tasted the tomato sauce off his finger. Jane was smiling as he took his finger back out. "The best stuff around."
"Yeah, if I couldn't also taste your oily fingers from jacking up that lawyer's car," Lisbon said.
Jane only smiled as he tucked his hands back in his pockets. He walked by her, brushing just a little too close to her side, to her ear, as he did so. "Thanks for saving me, Lisbon," he breathed into her ear, and walked to crash on his couch for the night. "'Night, Lisbon. Enjoy that pizza, and get some sleep," he added, closing his eyes. Lisbon could only roll hers, take a deep breath, and shake her head at her odd, annoying, and manipulative consultant that she just couldn't live without.
'"I should have bit your finger," she said as she passed his couch toward the elevator.
Jane's eyes shot open, but then his face broke into a grin. He knew she would save him, she always did.