A Prayer for You Too

Looking back, Cullen would never be sure how long he held the Inquisitor, kissing every part of her mouth and neck. Just as he would pull away to catch his breath, Evelyn Trevelyan would nip his bottom lip, or lightly suck on his Adam's apple and entice him back to her. As soon as he could put two thoughts together, he decided the only way they would ever leave Skyhold's Chantry would be if he carried her as he had done three weeks ago, except this time, his heart felt so light it could soar.

In one swooping motion, Cullen gathered Evelyn into his arms and felt for the door handle with his elbow as his gaze was still firmly fixed on the long, black lashes of her perfect eyes. He jostled the handle and hooked it open, using the sturdiness of his sword as leverage on the door. He was certain, as the summer breeze slide over his back, that they would undoubtedly be spotted by one of their comrades and Cullen braced himself for one of Sera's most mischievous laughs. And yet, the silence remained, save for the odd cricket and raven call. He could even hear the fountain masking the echo of his footsteps on the stone walkway as he kept to the shadows. Evelyn felt so light in his arms, it was as though he was carrying a part of himself. Although the last time he had carried her, she was in full armour and weighted down by the damp of melting snow.

As he thought back to that horrific night he stopped. Stopped walking. Stopped kissing her. He simply starred at her. He could have lost her that night. What if Leliana's ravens had not spotted her? What if he had not been fast enough? What if…?

"Cullen."

Evelyn's voice brought him back to the present. His eyes focused and he realised her hand was resting on his cheek, her eyes searching his for assurance. Cullen blinked and cursed in his head as a couple of tears dropped onto her nightgown. Quickly and as carefully as he could muster, he placed Evelyn so that she stood before him and then abruptly turned to look at the wall, right arm stretched over his head to conceal his face.

Evelyn stood alone for a moment, uncertain of what was wrong. She could still taste Cullen's mouth on hers and she gently touched her now swollen lips as confirmation that she hadn't just dreamt it all. Eventually she found her voice.

"Cullen? Is it the Lyrium again? Do you want me to fetch you some water?" She watched as he drew in stuttering breaths and shook his head.

How could he burden her with his own fears? She was the Inquisitor. She had enough to worry about with Corypheus and the many factions who needed their guidance. Her guidance. The mental chains that had held his feelings back before this night began to take hold again. Then he felt her hand on his shoulder, gently placed so as not to startle him. Was she naturally this tactful in all that she did, be it negotiating alliances or calming a lost Templar? He slowly withdrew his forehead from the cool stonework and turned to face her. Initially she looked fearful, but instantly she had a reassuring smile on her lips.

"Cullen, if you're having second thoughts…"

"NO!" Cullen blurted out, unable to keep his heart quiet. His abruptness startled Evelyn for a moment before her smile broadened. Cullen took a long breath and continued.

"I mean no. This is what I want. You, you are what I want, who I want…t-to be with." Cullen took in a longer, steadying breath and tried to invoke the filter that usually prevented him from sounding like such a fool.

"Evelyn, I…I am a selfish man. I want you, all to myself. I want to fill every moment with your beautiful laughter, hold your hand instead of a sword. You inspire me to be a better man and at the same time I see only my worst traits. You belong to the Inquisition. If I follow my heart, I could lose all that I am, all that I have worked so hard to be. I…I am so sorry, but this would just be…inappropriate."

Cullen readied himself for a slap to his face or for her tears to fall, knowing that latter would be worse. He certainly did not expect another kiss. This one felt different. The ones in the Chantry had been fuelled by uncertain passion. This one was slow and controlled, almost dangerous in its sincerity. After a moment of disbelief, Cullen kissed her back, slowly rolling his tongue with hers and using his lips to pull on hers. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her waist. Then he felt her lips pull away from his and in the next instant he sensed her warm breath by his ear.

"No."

Cullen was puzzled by her response and was about to ask when his words dissolved into a moan as Evelyn sucked on his neck and his earlobe. His breath hitched in his chest as her right hand firmly guided his left to hold her lower than her waist. Cullen felt so lost in the intensity of these seldom explored emotions that he barely noticed her words.

"I refuse your resignation, Commander. You will not back away from me, I won't let you." Evelyn rested her right hand on Cullen's cheek and turned his face towards her. "You are concerned that your selfishness will steal me away from the Inquisition, and yet you yourself are part of the Inquisition. How would I ever be able to concentrate if I knew the head of my army was hurting and wouldn't let me help? And what about what I want?" Upon uttering the last line, her voice grew more assertive, like the Inquisitor Cullen knew from the War Room.

"I am more than just the Inquisitor that Cassandra and Leliana wanted. More than just the leader of apostates and mercenaries. And I want to be more than just a symbol. I want to be with you. I want to be yours. And I won't let you prevent this due to some outdated sense of duty!" And again, her lips crashed down upon Cullen's, cheeks dampened by stray tears.

Cullen had heard enough. He pushed her off him and then brusquely grabbed her hand and fled up the stone steps to one of the guest rooms they had cleared just yesterday ahead of the Countess of Whatever's visit later in the week. He was scared to look back at her in case her expression made him change his mind. Right now, in that moment, he was sure of what he wanted. And it was Evelyn.

The oak door slammed against the wall as Cullen burst into the room and swiftly pulled Evelyn inside, leading her to the bed before returning to close the door. The perfectionist in him noted that the stone wall had dented the door handle and he made sure to mentally file it away for another time. Resting his back against the door, he expected to see Evelyn waiting on the bed. He nearly leapt when he saw her standing before him. He watched, speechless, as she sensually slid the ribbons that fastened her nightgown out of their eyelets. He saw the momentary flash of flesh and let his own hands take over the unlacing, his body too impatient to wait any longer. Once undone, Cullen slid his hands inside and felt Evelyn's soft bare skin which shivered at his touch. Her back was so smooth, not scarred like he knew his to be, and as his hands roamed lower he faltered. He glared at his Inquisitor, unable to believe that she had ventured out in the night with no undergarments. Evelyn's response was to quirk one eyebrow and smile. She leaned in towards his ear and breathed, "It was such a hot night, I suppose I forgot."

In that moment, the reins of reason and logic that were holding Cullen back snapped. Grabbing each of Evelyn's thighs in either hand, he almost charged her onto the bed. Kneeling between her legs, he pushed her nightwear to either side of her, revealing her marble like body. It reminded him of the statues of Andraste that had been hidden in Kinloch as they depicted her as the Maker had made her. Her skin was flawless, seasoned with only the light pink of her nipples and the trimmed ebony curls that cloaked her womanhood. Cullen took his time as he ran his hands over every inch of her body, as though he was committing every curve and birthmark to memory. His exploration was met with breathy moans and as his hands wandered towards her thighs, Evelyn's body shuddered, and she placed both hands upon his.

"Cullen…I've shown you mine, now show me yours."

Although Cullen was much stronger than the Inquisitor, he was no match for her speed as she grabbed his shoulders and forced his back onto the bed. Cullen was startled and felt his confidence wane slightly. Though he was not a virgin, his times had been short-lived. Drunk, he had shared his company with a lady in Kirkwall's infamous Blooming Rose brothel. In other words, he had experience in fucking, but the other stuff he only had the scattered knowledge from the odd confiscated pages of erotica. So as Evelyn began to unlace his trousers, Cullen honestly had no idea what she was intending to do.

"Erm…Evelyn? Wh-what are you doing?" Cullen felt himself released from the confines of his leather trousers.

"I read about something in Ostwick's vast library and I want to try it." Cullen felt her hands grasp his manhood firmly.

"Try wh_? Aaaah mmmm" Cullen closed his eyes, lost to the waves of pleasure that sprung from where Evelyn's tongue danced around his member. As her mouth engulfed him, Cullen could not restrain his hips from bucking deeply into her throat. Tingles waltzed throughout his body, and as they circled around his abdomen, he felt a spring of nerves coil tighter and tighter. It was almost too much and yet he wanted more. Instinctively he buried his right hand in her hair, whilst his left gripped the headboard. He fell into the rhythm of her head bobbing as the fire in his loins caused the coil to tighten more so.

Tighter.

And tighter.

And…

"OH EVELYN! OOOH!"