07.13.2258
Harsh, harsh light. Noise of something - my own crying. I cannot control it. Shapes, unfamiliar, bright. All I remember is dark red, and I am seeing colours I did not know before. I later learn they have names - black, blue, purple. But red is my favourite. It is familiar. I am red. I am covered in red stuff. Later, when they dry me off, I am pink.
A face appears. He asks me questions - things I do not know the answer to. I don't understand what he is saying. He gives me a name, and it dances on my ears like soft silk. Mother had silk. It was on her nightgown. I am lying on her chest, and I cannot move. I am not trying to move.
My name is Faith Celeste Adia Green. I don't know what kind of person I am. My father severs the cord that seperates me from my mother. He pulls out a strange machine, and shows me a face. It is alien to me. But it is the same colour as my hands that I can see in front of me. The machine is frightening. I scream
Mother begins to convulse underneath me. Everyone panics. I cry. And then there's another face, taking me out of the room, bouncing me up and down. I feel sick. I keep crying. Father comes out of the room and shakes his head. He is sad. Everything will be fine; that's what he says. Maybe he is right. What do I know? I'm not even really alive yet.
He is singing to me. His broken voice cracks between sobs but he is singing to me. He holds me close to his chest. Where is Mother? Where is silk and blood and soft chests? His is flat and bony but it has to do. I wail, because I am hungry and I miss everything which is familiar. But I am alive. At least I am alive.
Faith, he whispers to me. Faith.
I am scared. And then we are gone. The sun is even brighter, outside. Past monsters and gunshots and screaming. Past carnage and broken metal and people. People pointing, saying things. James, they say. James.
I am Faith and he is James, and he is all I have. I am all he has. He tells me this as he runs. People guard him. Nothing can hurt me. I am safe. He makes me safe.
New place, new people. Sharp smell, it hurts my nose. I cry. A man tells me to shut the fuck up, and my father tells him the same. The man leaves me alone, and tells James he can put me upstairs if I can be quiet for a bit. Father asks about formula milk. The other man bursts out laughing. I can have cow milk, or nothing. It smells rancid, but I learn to suck it from my father's finger as he keeps dipping it in the bottle. Father puts me on his chest to let me burp. He drinks from a glass bottle in a bag. He tells me that my middle names mean "heavenly gift." I fall asleep in his arms. I want to stay like this forever. I am too young to understand that nothing is forever. Nothing is ever forever.
07.13.2259
"Come on sweetie. Walk to Daddy. Just a little further."
He stands in front of me, beckoning, encouraging. I want to make him happy. His smile is the one thing that calms me down in my own temper tantrums, the one thing that lulls me to sleep. He smiles for me, and I smile back.
I toddle over to him, and he picks me up in his strong arms. "There you go! My goodness! Only a year old, and already walking like a pro. Your mother would be so proud." Even the mention of her name brings him to a motionless, dream-like state. But he must be strong. For me. He shakes himself out of it, and the glorious smile returns. My own mouth stretches into a half tooth, half gum grin. I pick up my favourite bear and put it in his hands. He twirls it in his hands absent-mindedly, and then straightens his back. This normally means he is going somewhere. Fear builds up inside me. I hate when he leaves. I make a series of babbles at him.
"Listen kiddo, I know you don't like it when Daddy leaves you alone, but I need you to take care of yourself for a minute." I make another protesting shriek. He leans forward and strokes my cheek tenderly. "You just stay here while Daddy runs to his office. You'll be okay honey. I'll be back in a bit."
He closes the gate of my playpen, leaving me with only teddy and my red rubber ball. I sit down on my bottom and cuddle teddy for a little while. Teddy isn't as good as Daddy. Teddy doesn't breathe, or sing me songs. I wonder…
I lift myself up onto my shaky legs, and wander over to the gate. It doesn't take much for it to give, only a tiny shove. And then I'm out. I feel like it shouldn't be as anticlimactic as it is, because there doesn't seem to be much outside. I busy myself looking at the pictures in a book, and then I decide to surprise Daddy by going to his office alone. Before I can even get to my feet, however, I hear the familiar whirr of the huge metal door open. He's standing there, arms folded. He only looks cross for a minute, and then he chuckles. "You are quite the little explorer, aren't you? Serves me right for trying to pen you in." He squats down on the floor, and points to something. I crawl over on my belly and look at the object. He smiles wistfully.
"See that? It was your mother's favourite passage. It's from the Bible. Revelation 21:6: 'I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life, freely.' She always loved that." Once again, he had to pull himself out of his thoughts of Mother. To me, now, she was just a memory. I would never understand how he felt, but for now I could put my starfished hand on his face and pull his lips upward into a smile.
"Alright, come on. Let's see if your little friend Amata wants to play."
Author's note: Thank you for reading! I'll still be continuing with my Dragon Age fanfic, but I've been itching to do a Fallout 3 fic for ages. I'm finding it hard to write so much at the moment, but I've decided to keep going. Thanks to everyone for their support on my other story, it means so much! You guys are all amazing!
As always, please review. Any feedback is appreciated.