Title: Shadow Puppets
Author: gungnirburst
Pairing: Philip/Daniel
Summary: Philip sleeps and dreams of a man afraid of the dark places. Philip/Daniel.
Disclaimer: Penumbra and Amnesia: The Dark Descent both belong to Frictional Games. I make no monetary profit from this fiction. This written work is my own and may not be copied or reposted elsewhere and permission will not be given for either.
Notes: slash, crossover, mentions of murder, mentions of torture. Set pre-Amnesia and inbetween Penumbra: Overture and Penumbra: Black Plague.
The first thought Philip has when he takes in his surroundings is how could he end up in a bedroom when he was last underground.
He recalls being knocked out. Everything had gone black, first the lights and then his mind. He can't remember waking up after that, even if he does feel vaguely awake now.
The room around him is furnished with a bed, a small bedside table, a wardrobe, a bookshelf, and a desk. A painting hangs from the wall near the door and an unlit fireplace sits between that and the wardrobe. Everything seems a bit too olden for him to still be somewhere in Greenland, further proven by the fact that he doesn't feel like he's about to freeze. There's a gasp at the door and Philip turns a little faster than he'd originally intended to. It's only then that he realizes he has nothing on his person except the clothes on his back.
A man with shoulder length brown hair stares at him from the open doorway. He looks jittery and restless, as if he hasn't slept well in weeks. In fact, there are small dark lines curved under his eyes, light but noticeable against his pale skin. There's a book in his right hand, but Philip can't see the title of it. His clothes are decidedly not modern, if the breeches alone are anything to go by.
The man's voice has a distinctive British lilt when he asks who Philip is and what he's doing. It's not as heavy as his own accent, but slightly comforting nonetheless. Introductions are passed, the man being one Daniel of Mayfair. The question of intent stays hanging in the air as Daniel closes the door behind him warily. Philip honestly can't give him an answer even if he wants to, and he says as much.
One of the first things Daniel remarks on is his clothing. Not about how they're smudged with dirt and smell dank, but how they look completely different from his own. Philip doesn't really bother with answering the resulting inquiries, finding them frivolous. The conversation takes a turn to their current location. Someplace called Brennenburg, and Philip can't say he'd ever heard of it.
Daniel tells him the year after some prodding. 1839. The shock almost causes Philip to panic, but he manages to hold it back at the last second.
There's no way he could have traveled back in time, even if the prospect does sound rather exciting. No technology exists for that kind of thing in 2001. And, regardless, he knows he is unconscious. It's more likely that he's just dreaming. An odd dream, but a dream nonetheless.
Nighttime comes around, and Daniel lights candles to keep the room from going completely dark. Even so, the Englishman fidgets, glancing to and fro at each spot were the light doesn't quite reach. Philip gathers he has a fear of the dark, and he truthfully can't blame Daniel for that. Daniel asks if he's going to leave, and Philip frankly doesn't know the answer. He's invited to take the desk chair in the meantime while Daniel sits on the bed.
They continue to talk until Daniel falls asleep. Everything blacks out again.
oOo
Finding himself in Brennenburg again feels more like he merely faded back in, like he hadn't really left at all. It's like he just stepped out of the shadows and into the light. He doesn't wake up between the times he is inside Castle Brennenburg and not. At least, it doesn't feel that way. Something prickles at the edge of his consciousness, like he is about to open his eyes and be rid of the strange dream, but it never happens.
He's still unsure about whether he is dreaming or not. But he would rather not think of himself as crazy.
Daniel smiles at him whenever he returns, which is close to daily according to Daniel. A habit is established between them. They talk at night until Daniel falls asleep and then Philip fades out only for the process to be repeated the next day. He could almost say they are on friendly terms.
Philip never asks questions, never really has to. Daniel is more than willing to share information and fill in the blanks as he goes.
He talks about archeology and books. About his sister Hazel and a horrid little boy named Henry Bedloe. His father comes up a few times, and Philip gathers the man wasn't exactly the best parental figure. He talks about how he found some kind of orb and of the Shadow chasing him because he found it. A man named Alexander comes up then. Philip feels suspicious of the baron for some reason, but Daniel brushes off his worries as nothing. He says he's grateful to Alexander for reaching out to help a stranger like himself in a time of dire need. It does little to ease Philip.
He tells Daniel his story, too, in a way. He keeps the majority of it out, manly dates and the advancement of mankind. All Daniel really knows is that he was searching for answers about his father's research, which is true, but he doesn't get into the sorted details. It isn't quite as regaling as Daniel's tale, but he never hears a compliant. If anything, Daniel is just as curious as he is and he continues to ask for specifics. Philip refuses to give them, though, no matter how much he wants to confide in another person.
He wonders if saying even that much is crossing some invisible line.
But he can't help feeling odd over how curiosity had landed them both in a dangerous mess. Philip thinks maybe fate had its hand lodged in this from the start, maybe even long before either of them was born.
oOo
He continues to find himself standing in Daniel's room when the darkness fades away. Pondering the situation, Philip can't seem to wrap his head around it.
He can't be just dreaming this. It feels much too elaborate. There are too many details, too many situations he couldn't have come up with by himself. He has no other explanation for what's happening, but it completely clashes with every bit of logic he's ever possessed. There's no way his mind is just conjuring up the whole thing, and he can't account for Daniel's either, if Daniel is in fact real and not a figment of his imagination.
But Daniel feels too real to be just a dream. The castle walls made of cold stone feel too real. The pages in between his fingers when he decides to flip through one of Daniel's books feel too real.
It can't be a dream, but he doesn't know what else to call it.
Daniel doesn't seem to know the answer. It doesn't really bother the jumpy Englishman as much as it bothers Philip. Daniel is happy to have someone he can speak to who isn't above him like Alexander and can actually keep the pace of the conversation going. He remarks on the strangeness of the events, but seems too preoccupied to let his curiosity delve into finding out.
Maybe they're both dreaming.
Philip wonders if he's finally going mad.
oOo
Their time together is cut short one day. Philip doesn't know why.
oOo
It's odd hearing Daniel speak of certain books as if they're brand new when Philip knows they've been around for over a century. He's even read some of them. He doesn't make comments about it, though.
Sometimes he feels it best to let Daniel prattle on about things he already knows.
Not being able to talk about films is also strange for Philip. He does enjoy talking about them from time to time. He's seen many movies on many different things, and he imagines Daniel would just be beside himself with questions about how everything worked, from the video cameras to the release of the final product. He likes that Daniel is inquisitive, even if does get a tad tedious at times. Still, he keeps such things to himself and hopes Daniel won't ask a whole lot of questions.
That doesn't mean he hasn't experienced an instance where he almost let out too much. Once he was humming a song from The Sound of Music to himself when Daniel asked him what the tune was. Philip had lied and said he just made it up on the spot and Daniel thankfully let it go without another word. It was much too close a call for him to chance again. Oddly, it feels weird not to start humming once he reminisces on film score.
Although, it doesn't stop him from laughing to himself later when he suddenly understands how Doctor Brown from Back to the Future felt while trying to keep Marty McFly from saying too much about the future.
oOo
Philip suggests they go outside once while it isn't too dark. Daniel refuses and nothing more is said about it.
oOo
Philip is aware of the warding rituals. He can't help feeling like Alexander is keeping something from Daniel, but it isn't his place to meddle. If anything, he's the prime authority on having information hidden from him. He doesn't want to risk the future more than he already is by trying to change things. Even if he is dreaming, he decides being careful is his top priority. And if it turns out he merely is dreaming, then he can pride himself on his tact.
At the same time, he also doesn't want Daniel's curiosity to finally peak and question the baron's motives more than he already has. Philip isn't sure Daniel would remain alive afterward.
oOo
He doesn't like how quiet it gets in Brennenburg sometimes. The silence makes him hear things other than the slight ringing in his ears from his brain trying to make background noise. He almost had a panic attack once when he thought he could hear a dog growling somewhere beyond the closed door of Daniel's room. It took nearly an hour for Daniel to calm him down and assure him Brennenburg was dog free.
He still couldn't bring himself to release the candelabra from his clenched hand until much later.
oOo
Philip makes a halfhearted and mostly offhanded joke about how his father and Daniel's should spend time together. Daniel's face pales in response. Philip doesn't bring it up again.
oOo
Their first kiss is an accident.
The bed in Daniel's room is as warm as ever. After a while, Philip had migrated from the desk chair to the bed for their nightly talks. Daniel is showing him one of the many books he brought with him to Brennenburg and they're sitting next to each other on the blanketed mattress. It makes Philip think of late nights spent under the covers of his bed reading with a flashlight when he should have been sleeping.
Alexander never seems to be around when Philip is here, and he is glad for it. He's not sure he wants to meet the baron. He doesn't think Daniel should continue to stay in the castle, but he never speaks it aloud. Call it intuition or foreboding, but he feels Daniel residing in Brennenburg is even more dangerous than if he were to go outside. It's not his choice, it's not really any of his business even if he wants it to be, and so he keeps quiet. He thinks that maybe he should keep his curiosity out of this one, hard as it is.
They are huddled close together as they go through the book so they can both see the pages. He feels Daniel look up at him so he raises his head as well, and that's when it happens.
It isn't much, just an unintentional blushing of lips that wouldn't really count as a real kiss, but it makes them pause all the same. Their noses are almost touching and they're breathing in the same air. Daniel does jump slightly after a moment, his shoulders hitching up, but he doesn't look away from Philip.
Philip feels like a teenager again. It should annoy him, suddenly feeling nervous like he doesn't know what he's doing. He's kissed other people before, but Daniel isn't like other people so it somehow seems much different.
Suddenly, he wants to try it again. He's not sure if the compulsion is just his own or if Daniel feels it as well. Philip is unsure of many things. How they're even meeting like this, where their respective futures are going to take them, if they'll even be alive once it's over and the mysteries are solved.
But all those things disappear for a moment when he kisses Daniel and Daniel kisses him back.
oOo
They don't do anything like hold hands or make out. They still can't go outside. They still don't understand the circumstances bringing them together.
It really feels like nothing has changed to Philip. Daniel talks about his day, however dreadful it was, and Philip listens. The details of the rituals are particularly painful to hear, but he knows Daniel needs to let it out to someone. He's willing to listen if Daniel needs him to.
The only real difference Philip can discern is that Daniel curls up against him at night when he's going to sleep.
oOo
Sometimes Philip wishes he would just wake up already. He feels like he knows too much. His story and Daniel's – it's too much for him to handle alone. It's worse when he remembers that neither of their journeys has concluded yet. Daniel is still blissfully unaware of all he's been through, and Philip wants to keep it that way.
Daniel doesn't necessarily ask for the finer points anymore. Philip thinks Daniel still has the urge to know somewhere in the back of his mind. But he is distracted, and some things from their past meetings do not matter anymore.
What he wonders sometimes while Daniel is slipping in between consciousness and unconsciousness is how he's going to let this go when the time comes. Because every kiss he shares with Daniel is like a new claw sinking into his flesh. He knows it will hurt when he tries to pull away.
oOo
Philip is confused about something; he honestly can't recall what in retrospect. Daniel is trying to explain it the best he can, but Philip is having a difficult time grasping the concept for whatever reason. He's usually quite smart; he is a physicist after all, and he blames his lack of knowledge on the large time gap between them. It's still hard for him to believe he's actually interacting with someone from the late 1800s. He imagines Daniel would feel the same if he knew Philip came from a time period almost two centuries away.
Daniel is more weary and nervous these days. The black circles underneath his eyes are more pronounced, and Philip sometimes thinks Daniel will suddenly jump out a window and end everything at any given moment. But he stays and Philip is grateful for it.
At one point during his explanation, Daniel laughs a little like he's playfully exasperated and smiles, the first real smile Philip has seen in a while, and then he says, "It doesn't work that way, love."
Both men seem to realize what was said at the exact same time, and Daniel has the wherewithal to look sheepish.
"My apologies," Daniel says. His hands are fidgeting in his lap. "I didn't mean—"
Philip kisses him. Daniel doesn't say anything else.
oOo
He wishes Daniel were born at a later time, preferably near his own date of birth. It would solve so many problems.
He doesn't like to think about what's going to happen when he finally wakes up. He doesn't want to contemplate not seeing Daniel again once he does wake up. Honestly, he had not realized how lonely he was until Daniel came into his life. And sometimes it feels like Daniel and he share the same thoughts, because Daniel says pretty much the same thing one night as the candle sitting on the bedside drips wax and casts shadows.
He wonders why Daniel couldn't have been a modern day man like him. There's more than just a cultural gap between them. For all it is worth, they might as well be from completely different worlds.
If Daniel had been around when he'd received the letter from his father, Philip likes to think that he wouldn't have gone for answers in the first place. Perhaps he would have been too preoccupied with a lover to think of exploring thirty-year-old mysteries. Perhaps he would have actually followed his father's instructions. He'll never know if such thoughts are true or not.
oOo
Daniel is just barely hanging onto his sanity. Philip feels like he is falling with Daniel.
oOo
He remembers a Daniel who wasn't quite so haunted. He remembers a Daniel who was only mildly wary and not downright terrified. He remembers a Daniel who was pleasant, if not a bit naïve. He remembers a Daniel who didn't have blood on his hands.
But, as much as Philip remembers a past Daniel, he's not sure he'll ever forget the current Daniel.
oOo
"I tortured and murdered a man today," Daniel whispers into the air one night.
The candles in his room are lit and flickering. Shadows dance on the walls. Suddenly, Philip wishes for his flashlight. They could lie on the floor and shine the light up to the ceiling and he would make crude shadow puppets with his fingers. He would tell the story of Peter Cottontail, and maybe Daniel would smile for a moment and forget. A childish activity, but perhaps it would somewhat help Daniel with his fear of dark places and shadows.
Philip is starting to think Daniel and he share that same fear. They already share so much. And Philip hates how death is the main commonality between them. They should have had normal, fulfilling lives, with the numerous wonders of the world being the only thing to poke at their curiosity. But he knows they never would have met under those constrictions.
He hates how circumstances had to play out this way in order for them to meet.
"I can still hear him screaming." Daniel sucks in a shuddering breath. "I don't know what came over me. It had to be done, I know, but…"
He never finishes the sentence. And Philip says nothing back. He can't think of a thing to say.
Daniel sobs quietly into his pillow for hours before he finally falls asleep.
oOo
Daniel doesn't remember him the next time Philip finds himself within the walls of Brennenburg.
oOo
Philip's eyes open. He's locked in a room that is definitely not somewhere inside Castle Brennenburg.
He never dreams of Daniel again.
Don't ask why Philip doesn't have any dialogue. Just accept it.
The ending is completely up to your interpretation. There could be several reasons why Philip and Daniel never see each other again. I don't necessarily know myself, really. I'm honestly just glad that I'm finally able to publish this.
Also, please excuse those few movie references. Ever since Clarence said that thing in Penumbra: Black Plague about how many movies Philip had seen, it's just kinda stuck in my head that Philip thinks back on them a lot.
Review please.