Just a Dream
Chapter 1
How long had it been? Days? Weeks? Months? She didn't know. The memories were still so vivid in her mind; it felt so real and yet so like a dream. It was a happy dream, and yet sorrowful at once. The memory of him made her long for the day her whimsical memories could be real again, but it was not to be so. She was never to walk again on the soft ground of that place. Never to breathe in that magical air. Never to see it's many fantastic inhabitants, of which she was a ruler of in the days of old. Narnia. How she longed to see it again! It had only been a few months since her last visit, but it seemed like long years to one whose heart had tasted of the rich warmth of love. It started out as a feeling which then grew into something more, something words couldn't describe, nor could a picture revive such a feeling of ardor. It dearly broke her heart to leave him after all they'd been through together. There had been so many possibilities, so great a chance. But she'd held her head up high refusing to fall to tears. Only until now, when she was back in England, did she allow herself to feel this sorrowful ache. Not until now did she try to make herself finally accept the truth. She was never going back. It was all just a dream.
Susan was waiting at the train station, sitting quietly on one of the many hard benches. The stiff uncomfortable seat didn't seem to phase her; she was to lost in thought. Her brothers and sister should be coming soon or they'd all miss the train. Through the thick crowd, she saw Edmund trying to get to where she was seated. She'd always liked Edmund. He seemed different from Peter and Lucy. Ed was more quiet, like she was. He wasn't as vibrant as Lucy, not as noble as Peter. And she liked him for those very reasons. She loved her brother Peter and sister Lucy, there was no question about that, but she just felt a deeper bond with Ed. Maybe it was how he'd betrayed them to the White Witch and how he learned from his mistakes and sought to improve himself that she admired so much. If only she could be stronger lie Edmund, more believing like Lucy and braver like Peter she could be a better person.
She shook her head trying to focus on the moment. Her head swam with to many memories and strong feelings. Edmund come up to her and sat beside of her.
"Where are the others?" she asked inquisitively.
"Oh, Lucy ran into one of her old friends," he said. "Peter was going to stay with her until she was done talking so he sent me to tell you what the hold up was."
"Oh," she said quietly.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked suddenly. "You hardly ate anything at lunch."
"I'm fine. I just need a little time to think is all," her face looked sad and forlorn.
"It's him isn't it?"
Her heart skipped a beat and started pounding fiercely in her chest. Apparently he knows me better than I imagined she thought.
"Who are you talking about?" she asked, false security in her voice.
"You know who I'm talking about."
Susan remained at a loss of words in that moment. They both sat there in silence as a world of people rushed past them, not caring who they were or what they were going through. The noisy public remained soundless to her ears as another wave of sensations crashed upon her.
"It doesn't matter now," she said at last. "I'm not ever going back."
"That doesn't mean it has to end here," he said. "You don't have to give up on everything."
Normally she would have fought him over this but she didn't want to. She still wanted to hope for the impossible even though it was against her nature. She his words remained unchallenged.
From around the corner appeared Lucy and Peter. Lucy was all smiles as usual. Nothing could ever bring her down. That fact couldn't help but put a small smile on Susan's face. Peter came behind Lucy, walking tall and proud as a king of Narnia should. It didn't befit him as well in England as it did in Narnia.
"The train's about to leave," he said. "We should probably be getting on before it leave us behind."
They picked up their luggage as they prepared to board the train. Peter gave Susan a sympathetic smile, which tried to imply he know how she was feeling. Maybe Peter wasn't as oblivious to the way she felt as she had once thought.
They all had sat down in their seats preparing for the long voyage to their home. Lucy sat beside of Susan as the train's horn blew and the train slowly progressed forward. And much to Susan's surprise Lucy reached towards her and gave her a warm hug. Lucy had a way of giving hugs that could mend almost any hurt. Susan couldn't help but feel somewhat better. Lu gave her sister a smile as she pulled away.
"It'll be alright," the youngest sister said.
It still amazed Susan how much her family understood her, and how much she'd underestimated that fact. Each one of her family had something to give. All she had to do was open her heart to it. She looked out towards the window and watched as the world raced by in a blur. She began to think about all that transpired and with the help of the train's gently swaying she fell asleep.