Title: Milestones 1: 1 Colourless
Author: DrawnToDarkness
Rating: T
Character/Pairing: Becker, Jess, hints of Becker/Jess friendship
Prompt: Colourless
Summary: Companion piece to webisode #1, first in a new series of related one-shots.
Disclaimer: This show and these characters aren't mine. If they were, series six would be in the can and series seven would be well underway. No disrespect or copyright infringement is meant, and I'm not getting anything out of this but the pure enjoyment of writing about the characters I love.

Author's Note: Milestones 1 is a series of related one-shots, all from Becker's point of view, taking us from webisode #1 all the way up to 5x06. Each one-shot is inspired by a prompt, taken from a generic list of 100 random words. It started as a writing challenge to myself and kind of snowballed from there! The series will, I'm sure, get more and more Jess/Becker focused as it progresses ;)

He was used to seeing in black and white, with murky greys in the areas between. He was used to a world of shadow and darkness, of memories so terrifying that even nightmares couldn't compete.

He was used to feeling jaded, broken. Guilty. The burden he carried was invisible to see but he felt it in the form of scars on his heart.

He was supposed to save and protect, not let those around him die and disappear.

Captain Becker hesitated on the threshold of the ARC, knowing he didn't want to step inside but, seeing it as his punishment, that he had to.

He couldn't atone for what he'd done, couldn't make it right.

Couldn't walk away knowing what dangers existed in the world that few even knew about.

The lift ride down to operations seemed to take both an age and no time at all. All too soon, he found himself standing in front of the gleaming doors as they opened, revealing the future that awaited him.

It looked different, but felt the same.

The pressure in his chest tightened, his breath escaping him in short, silent puffs.

And then she spoke.

"Captain Becker. Welcome back to the ARC. Well, the new ARC. You have no idea how good it is to finally have some company here."

Her voice was like sunshine breaking through the clouds on a rainy day, a shining beacon of light in the dark he'd become so accustomed to.

"I'm supposed to report to Parker."

Her smile was bright, undaunted by the confusion colouring his tone. She held out her hand without hesitation. "Jess Parker, at your service."

"You're... You're the Field Co-ordinator."

She was an explosion of colour, unanticipated and unexpected but not, he was surprised to realise, unwelcome. He saw the pink of her high heels, the green of her dress and his gaze continued upwards, drifting over the glossy pink lips and locking with brilliant blue eyes.

"Sorry. Not usually this crazy, I promise. Well, not unpleasantly crazy. I've been here on my own for the last two weeks. Just me and the creatures. I've been going through all the mission reports."

"Fun." Becker glanced away, taking in their shadowy surroundings. Modern though it looked, the ARC felt too dark, too wrong, for someone as bright and vivacious as the young woman in front of him.

"No, they're good. Really. The best part is I already feel like I know you. And Abby and Connor and Danny." Her smile began to fade and Becker looked away again, waiting for the crushing pang of guilt at the mention of the others. Darkness began to descend on the edges of his vision but Jess spoke again, her voice chasing the shadows of his failures away. "Um, if you wanna come through, I'll get you set up."

Exhaling slowly, he focused on the Field Co-ordinator as she moved, quickly and with a grace that was somehow startling given the height of the heels adorning her feet.

She was life, she was colour. Innocence and enthusiasm, she was everything the ARC drained out of people and Becker found himself in the unusual position of hoping it wouldn't happen to her - of promising himself that he'd do whatever it could to make sure it wouldn't.

He couldn't save Cutter or Sarah, couldn't bring back Danny or Abby or Connor, but he could play his part and hope it was enough to keep anyone else from being lost like they were or broken like he was.

He listened to her talk but didn't really hear the words, focused as he was on the unfamiliar feeling fluttering inside his chest at the sound of her voice.

It wasn't love; he didn't know the girl. Narrowing his eyes as he stared at the file in his hand, Becker almost dropped the folder as he was able to pinpoint the emotion beginning to build.

Hope.

Milestones 1.2, prompt 'Beginning', coming soon... :)