bad days

Jack drove..... he kept on driving... round and round, each turning taking him down a one way street on to a roundabout, then another and then...... shit, back where he started. Fourth time now. He shot a sideways glance at Gwen, who hadn't seemed to notice as she was still on the phone to Rhys trying to explain why she was in Coventry and not Cardiff, eating the dinner that he had so lovingly cooked for her. Jack cursed as one again he had ended up on the ring road and he vaguely remembered Ianto's doom toned warning of several hours ago.

"Oh god Coventry.... it's got a circular road that once you get on.... you never get off.... think of it Jack driving in circles for days on end......round and round and round......."

Bastard.

"Er... Jack haven't we been this way before?"

Gwen had finished her call then.

"Just making sure I remember the way out." Was his reply, he thought it sounded good anyway.

Gwen arched her eyebrows. "We haven't even got in yet, you realise by now that Aliens would've taken over......"

He huffed out a sigh, where was Ianto when you needed him, oh yes having a day off, no doubt in the pub bored out of his skull listening to his brother-law-prattle on about Rugby. Jack realised he probably had the better deal, but that that did not make him feel any better.

"Try the sat nav.... no on second thoughts ring Tosh, I'm getting dizzy."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ianto wasn't in the pub, in fact he was perched on the extreme edge of his mother's couch, his back ram rod straight and aching furiously. His sister was sat far more comfortably than he was. They were both fed up, worried and cross.

"Look mam we know you don't want to move, we understand that, but we're worried that you'll have another fall and no one will be able to help you. If Ianto hadn't visited, you would've been lying there for another couple of days."

It had been pure luck that Ianto visited at all, what with his working hours. Ianto sighed as his sister rattled on in scolding tones at their elderly mother, who really was only in her sixties but frail for her age no thanks to the cancer. Ianto's thoughts drifted back to Jack once again, as they so often did, but this time all he could think of was his own mortality and how he did not want Jack to deal with him when he got old and senile. Ianto's gut clenched with nausea and he lurched to unsteady feet.

"Excuse me." He hurriedly left the room, leaving his two relatives gaping at the door as he closed it behind him. He couldn't do this, he really couldn't. He was tired and upset, having spent the day with his mother at the hospital, before they finally discharged her an hour previously. He pulled on his woollen over coat and strode out of the house the front door slamming shut behind him. He just had to get away. He stepped out into a dank, cold Cardiff evening and sighing he dug his hands deep into his pockets and decided to go home. It took him ten minutes of sitting at the steering wheel of his car before he decided the better of it. It was his mother's life after all.

He stepped back into the lounge sometime later, his normally pale face flushed from the cold. He stood at the door, his mother and sister both gaping at him.

"Ok mam. I have a compromise."

His sister was glaring now.

"Wear an alarm. I'll pay for it, but if you have an alarm thing round your neck at least then......"

Mrs Manon Jones was smiling triumphantly at the son she hardly ever saw these days. "Thank you Ianto. I will do just that." She fixed her daughter with a stern look. "I don't want to be surrounded by fogies. I am not senile. Marion next door helps me with the shopping since you two are never here."

Rhiannon huffed out a sigh, ready to strangle her brother who was still standing there in his long grey coat, bloody snob.

"Ianto, that'll cost a fortune." She objected lamely.

Her brother rolled his eyes in a manner that reminded her of their Dad, the one Ianto would never talk about, come to think of it he never talked about anything.

"It doesn't matter. Mam has every right to live how she chooses. I can afford the money, so I'll make the arrangements but right now I am about to be late for work, so if you will excuse me."

Before either of the women could speak he had left the room again.

Manon Jones shook her head. "He looks so sad, do you know what it is that is bothering him?"

Rhiannon shook her head. "He doesn't talk, not since Tad died. I never see him. All he does is send loads of money to the kids at Christmas and birthdays."

Manon sighed. "He was always such a lovely chatty baby, I don't know what went wrong with him."

Rhiannon knew full well, but she kept her mouth shut, it would break her Mam's heart to know what their Tad had done.

Ianto drove back to the Hub and was greeted by the heart warming sounds of Tosh's laughter as she chatted away on her coms. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Ianto and he signalled if she wanted a coffee to which he got the thumbs up. A moment later an acerbic London accent could be heard from the bowels of the autopsy lab.

"Coffee, teaboy."

Ianto shucked off his coat and hung it up before going to his beloved coffee machine, even the smell of the grinds lifted his darkened mood. He vaguely wondered what had been happening at the Hub that day and sighed thinking what a crappy day his day off had actually been. So much for visiting his relatives for a dutiful half hour, getting his laundry done and sitting down to a nice, rare home cooked meal. He'd honestly forgotten what a normal life was like. Ianto froze for moment. Normal life.

Ten minutes later having passed coffee's to Owen and Tosh he retreated to his desk and got on on-line to sort out his mother's personal alarm. The fact that she could've died that morning, falling over in her kitchen, hit him with the force of a speeding train. His hands froze over the keyboard as tears poured down his drawn face. He wiped at them, glad that he hadn't sobbed out loud, not that anyone would hear him down here. His task done, Ianto got on with the back log of paperwork sat on his desk. Absently he rubbed at his sore lower back as he worked.

Owen finished up his latest post mortem and bagged the weevil body, whistling to himself as he worked, pleased to be finished, for once before 10pm. The pubs would still be open and whilst he fancied a pint he didn't feel much like going out on the pull, he vaguely wondered what his two colleagues would be doing. With Jack and Gwen in Coventry.... wouldn't be too difficult to guess what they would be doing.... well.... Owen snapped off his latex gloves and headed out of the bay. Tosh was still at her computers and Ianto was nowhere to be seen, probably in the archive then, hiding at his desk doing archivy things. Owen often found himself wondering what exactly that was. He actually discovered that Ianto was in the kitchen talking on his phone to his Mam. It sounded private so Owen backed out and left him to it. Ianto looked to be in a bad mood. He sauntered over to Tosh.

"So... er.... you ready to finish up for the night?"

Tosh looked up and pulled off her glasses.

"What time is it?"

Owen shrugged. "Long past pub time...ten mate."

Tosh blinked for a moment, trying to get her brain out of binary for a moment.

"Yep, just give me five and then I'll be ready." She smiled at him, knowing this was by no means the date she so desperately craved. "What about Ianto?"

"He's on the phone. It sounds serious. I think his Mom is telling him off."

Tosh's eyes widened for a moment. She knew about Ianto's estrangement from his family. She turned back to her monitor.

"Shall we go to the Green Dragon?"

Owen nodded. They had decent beers in there, none of that Aussie rubbish.

"Yeah. I'll see if Ianto's off the phone, ask him, he looks like he could do with a few pints."

Tosh silently agreed.

Ianto ended the call with his Mam and leaned back against the work top squeezing the tension out of the bridge of his nose.

"You alright mate?"

Ianto's head snapped up and he sort of nodded at Owen. "Bad day."

"Tosh and I are going to the Pub, coming?"

Ianto didn't need to think about it. "Yep."

Owen took a pace closer, taking in Ianto's slumped shoulders and taught pale face.

"So I'll ask again, are you alright? You look like shit."

Ianto stuffed his phone into his trouser pocket. "My mam, she finished her chemo recently. Last night she fell over and I found her this morning on the kitchen floor, so I've had the day at the hospital, my sister bellowing in my ear about moving mam to a rest home..... no.... sorry Owen, you don't want to know." Ianto scrubbed his hands down his face. "Just a bad day."

Owen sympathised. "Do you want me to take a look at her?"

Ianto paused for a moment, surprised by the offer. Finally he shook his head. "It's not that. I mean she's not that old, only 62 and she doesn't want to be sitting in a room with the TV and a bunch of senile old ladies. Mam's mind is as sharp as a knife. She won't move, I don't blame her, my sister is furious..... God it is just..... so normal. I forget sometimes Owen. I forget that I have real people out there that need me."

Owen leant against the door jamb. "Yeah, I know what you mean, so is your mam ok?"

Ianto nodded. "Just bruises. I convinced her to get a personal alarm for her to wear, so at least she can stay home and we can be at least semi assured that she won't be lying in a pool of blood on the floor. I'm just glad she lives in a bungalow."

"You said she's been having chemo?"

"Breast cancer, she finished the treatments a while back, but it hasn't done her much good. The bottom line is that she wants to die at home and not in some strange retirement place where the people don't give a stuff." Ianto explained. "I agree with her, it's what I would want too."

Owen frowned. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Ianto smiled and shook his head. "I'm ok Owen."

Owen thought he didn't sound it or look it.

Tosh appeared at his side, her coat on, bag in hand. "Pub then?"

Owen had never seen Ianto drunk, point of fact the only thing Owen had ever seen Ianto drink was coffee. Ianto was a very giggly drunk and latterly he was a very sick drunk, fortunately they were outside before the younger man began to throw up. Tosh and Owen took him home to loud recitals of Dylan Thomas and TS Elliot and repeated apologies for his disgusting behaviour. Once home he was left lying in the recovery position and snoring into his pillows. Owen walked Tosh home in contemplative silence, deciding that as soon as Jack got back from the West Midlands, words would need to be had.

When Ianto awoke to sounds of strident melody from his mobile phone he discovered he'd missed eight calls from Jack and that he'd overslept by almost two hours. On getting up he discovered the world's worst hangover.

Jack closed his phone and sighed with frustration.

"Everything alright?" Gwen was munching on her toast as they sat at the Hotel breakfast table.

Jack took a sip of his coffee and immediately put the cup back down deciding he could wait until got back to Cardiff. Gwen had stuck to orange juice.

"Ianto's not answering."

"Still?"

Jack nodded. "I spoke to Owen, apparently he got very drunk last night."

"Owen or Ianto?"

Jack arched his eyebrows. "Ianto. It's not like him."

Gwen finished her piece of marmalade toast. "Well, we should be back in Cardiff in four hours, you can ask him about it then." She didn't sound especially concerned and Jack found that faintly annoying.

"Do you not care?"

"Yes, Jack you know I do. I'm very fond of Ianto, but I've learnt to respect his privacy, you know he doesn't like to talk to us about things and fretting over it from over a hundred miles away isn't going to do any good anyway."

Jack couldn't argue the point, but he was worried. "He's been very down lately."

"I know, his mother's had to have chemo recently. He's just a bit upset about it Jack."

"He told you?"

Gwen shook her head. "No, in truth I overheard him telling you a while back and quite frankly you were woefully inadequate in your sympathy. I mean you're the only one he talks to about anything. Anyone would think you were his boyfriend or something."

Jack had the decency to blush and Gwen narrowed her eyes. "You're not shagging him are you?"

Jack just flashed his famous grin. "Would you be bothered if I was?"

Gwen was quite certain that she would be. "Jack you've run out on him before. I'd like to think that you are not using him to pass the time again."

The smile faded as rapidly as it had come. "He means a lot to me." His tone was defensive. Gwen smiled and stretched her hand out, resting it over his.

"I know he does Jack, I'm not blind, but sometimes you forget that he's just a boy."

"Ianto's stronger than he looks."

"And not as tough as you think he is. Come on, lets head back I've got a dress fitting this afternoon and I do not want to be late."

Jack sighed, God forbid that they should be late for that.

Ianto stood under the shower jet trying his best not to throw up as the water cascaded down on his pale body. He looked down at himself, black chest hair stark against milky skin. He splayed his hands against the tiles for balance and heaved. Nothing came up and his guts churned in protest of the night before. He really was a light weight when it came to the booze. Ten minutes later he was brewing coffee in his kitchen and texting Owen apologising for his lateness and asking what they wanted him to bring in for lunch, before he'd finished the text he heard the sounds of a key in his front door and Jack calling from the hallway. He'd driven like a maniac back from Coventry and unceremoniously dumped Gwen at the Plas and come straight to Ianto's flat.

"Ianto?"

Ianto almost sputtered on his coffee. "In the kitchen."

Jack blustered in all coat tails and shiny white teeth and Ianto had to close his eyes at the brightness.

"God Jack, close your mouth.... too bright."

Jack merely smiled. "Any of that coffee left?"

"Help yourself." Ianto sat at his dining table and started going through his mail, having abandoned the texting.

With his freshly filled mug Jack sat opposite. "Good night last night?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Yes, it must've been I don't really remember much about it."

Jack took a long satisfying swallow of the caffeinated elixir and sighed with content.

"I missed that."

Ianto arched an eyebrow. "So you came here for my coffee?"

Jack nodded and watched the younger man carefully for a moment, he looked diminished somehow and Jack couldn't quite work out what it was.

"Is everything ok Ianto?" Jack's tone was quietly serious.

Ianto nursed his mug for a moment. "It's fine Jack. I had a bad day yesterday and I let it get to me. This morning I am just hung over. Really that's it."

"So why was it a bad day?"

Ianto's eyelids shuttered down and Jack knew that Ianto wasn't likely to tell him what was wrong.

"Ianto?"

Ianto got up and took his mug to the sink. "It's nothing Jack, just family stuff."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah."

"Ianto you know you can talk to me about it, don't you?"

Ianto stopped washing his mug and turned and faced Jack with a dour look on his face.

"I er... I need to get ready for work and collect the lunch order, would you do me a favour and ring Owen and find out what everyone wants?"

Jack nodded, realising he wasn't going to find out anything more. He pulled his mobile out of his pocket and dialled Owen.

Three hours later and Jack and Owen were running down an alley after a Weevil. It was raining heavily and it was cold, they stomped over puddles, litter and dog shit, Jack yelling into his coms as they went. The juvenile weevil was fast and headed in the direction of an infants school which was just about to let it's kids home for the day. Jack yelled at Ianto who was in the SUV driving around the block in the hopes of cutting the creature's escape route. The weevil bolted around the corner in front and Jack realised that Owen was too far behind now to wait for him. He turned the corner, skidding on something but gaining his footing fast. The black shape of the Torchwood car blocking the exit some yards away was visible and the cornered weevil was howling in anger. There was something in it's claws.... someone..... Ianto. Jack slammed to a halt and raised his Webley. He froze as the weevil dropped like a stone, taking the Welshman down with it. Suddenly Owen was running past him and yelling.

"Jack, come on!"

Owen shoved the weevil aside, it was clearly dead. Miraculously Ianto was struggling to his feet and brushing himself down. Owen stepped back.

"You alright?"

Ianto offered up a glare. "Yeah, bloody wonderful..... shit." He realised his arm was bleeding and discovered a bullet hole in his coat. "I don't believe it. You shot me.... You fucking shot me Jack!"

Jack was busy gathering up weevil corpse. "I was shooting at the weevil, Ianto and where the fuck do you get off trying to take one down on your own?"

Ianto blanched. "I wasn't. I did like you said. You told me you were right behind it!"

"Guys can we have screaming debrief back at the Hub, after I've stitched up Tea Boy's arm?"

Ianto nodded, sucking in rapid deep breaths as Jack and Owen loaded the body into the SUV. Ianto stood on the path cradling his arm, which was throbbing spectacularly by now. He leant against the back passenger door and squeezed his eyes shut unaware that Jack was now back at his side and pulling him into an embrace. Ianto sagged against him.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Me too. Come on into the car, lets get you home."

Ianto allowed himself to be helped into the back of the SUV and was rather surprised when Jack climbed in next to him.

"That's another coat I've ruined."

"I'll buy you a new one." Jack promised as Owen keyed the ignition.

"You ok back there Ianto?"

"My arm feels like it's about to drop off, does that count?"

"Only if I end up picking it up off the floor. Try to stay awake and Jack keep some pressure over the injury."

Jack squeezed over the bloodied sleeve making Ianto hiss.

"Sorry."

It took Owen almost an hour to realise that the bullet wasn't a bullet but a slither of brick that had richochetted and ..... well Ianto needed four deep stitches and ten surface ones. The young man was silent as Owen tended to the injury, clearly pre occupied and Owen was in no mood to pry because Gwen was prattling on about Bridal Gowns and what the fuck did he know about that? Jack hid himself in his office and Tosh for once made tea because she didn't trust herself to make coffee that the others would willingly drink. Once Owen was done, Ianto sat on the couch and calmly looked at the dress photos on Gwen's mobile as she asked Ianto on his opinion of the various frocks she had tried on. Gwen trusted Ianto to give her an honest answer and lets face it he was the only guy she worked with who had a decent dress sense. Between the two of them they settled on a cream crushed silk Empire dress with pearl laced bodice. Ianto thought it looked elegant, if a little dated, but he was certain that Gwen would not suit something tight and clingy. He sincerely secretly hoped he would not be invited to the wedding. Finally Gwen left him after he started to yawn and Ianto dozed off, his mug slipping from his fingers and rolling tea all over the couch beside him. Tosh smiled at the sight of him with his head tipped back, mouth open and faint snores echoing around the tiles of the Hub. Jack saw from the window of his office and stepped down, making his way quietly over to Tosh's terminal.

"Have we got anything happening over the next 24 hours?"

Tosh shook her head. "The next spike is likely to be late tomorrow."

Jack nodded and then sent the rest of the team home early so they could have a decent break. Ianto remained asleep on the couch and Jack carefully spread a blanket over him and sat at his side, drawing the young man into his arms as gently as he could. Ianto barely noticed, his head coming to rest over Jack's heart, arms instinctively sliding about his waist. Jack kissed the top of his head and even though it was only 5pm he closed his eyes.