To all my Bones readers wondering why I'm posting this instead of another CTB chapter, I just needed to pull focus and write something else for a bit, I'm going back to work on CTB now.
Disclaimer – I don't own any of the characters you recognize, nor do I make a single darn cent from this little tale.
A/N – Enjoy and please review.
Tony grumbled to himself as if waking from a deep sleep, it was dark and the distinct smell of dust filled his nostrils. He lay for a moment as reality came flooding back and then it hit him.
"Ziva?"
No response, but the sudden realization that the warm and somewhat soft body of his partner was pressed against his chest occurred to him and he felt his pulse increase.
"Zee… Ziva… are you awake?"
He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and rocked her as he moved to sit up slightly.
"Ziva come on wake up."
Her low moan was music to his ears and he couldn't help the brief smile that took over his lips.
"Are you hurt, can you move?"
She shifted beside him and he wondered what her condition was.
"Tony I… what happened I…"
His warm hand against her stayed put, he was unwilling to break their connection; at least not for the moment.
"I think… I think the bomb went off."
She sat up and he heard her wince.
"Wha… what's wrong? Are you hurt?"
Ziva shook her head still in a daze and unaware her partner couldn't see her.
"Ziva?"
"Hmm, no I… I am fine Tony, are you injured?"
He had felt briefly for injury but so far seemed fine.
"I think I'm alright, I mean I don't feel hurt."
Tony eased himself into a more comfortable position amongst the rubble and sighed.
"Ton… Tony I cannot see I…"
He reached out for her and found what he thought to be her thigh, she was shaking and it scared him.
"It's ok, it's just dark, there's no light so…"
He heard her sharp intake of breath, her pulse rapid and as she clamped her own hand around his, he felt how clammy she was.
"I need to see… Tony I need to see."
He frowned slightly at her panic, she was normally so unflappable and then it occurred to him that this was not the first time his stoic partner had been trapped in a small prison in complete darkness and he kicked himself for not thinking about it earlier.
"Ok, ok umm… alright hang on Zee."
He didn't release her hand but fumbled in his pocket for that allusive cell phone. Latching onto it he pulled it free and hoped for the best as he flipped the cover and it illuminated the destroyed elevator with a dull glow.
He heard her calm a little and was pleased he'd been able to help ease some of her anxiety.
"Better?"
He watched her nod and move to sit back beside him, their backs to the wall of the lift.
Tony slowly waved the cell through the air, trying to check their surrounds for a possible escape route, but what he found instead was the bleeding gash to his best friend's forehead.
"Ziva your head?"
She reached up to touch it, but her hand was pushed away.
"No, you'll get it dirty."
He moved up onto his knees and removed his jacket, tearing at the inside lining until a strip of material came free.
"Here… hold still."
He folded it over slightly and dabbed at the sticky red substance oozing from her head wound.
"Ouch!"
He smiled at her whine and the way her temple pressed to his chest.
"Sorry."
She furrowed her brow slightly and raised her hand again in instinct to judge the extent of her injuries.
"Is it bad?"
Tony looked to her forehead again and winced, it looked painful and he had no doubt she would have a headache, but he thought she'd be fine.
"You'll live, but you'll be needing a few Advil later."
He sat back down and looked to his phone.
"Ok let's see."
She looked across at him, her dark eyes showing her fear.
"What are you doing Tony?"
He smiled reassuringly.
"Well I was gonna see if I could call out, but I don't have much of a signal."
He scrolled for Gibbs number anyway and hit send, waiting for a ring tone and surprised to find it was answered.
"DiNozzo?"
"Boss?"
"DiNozzo where are you?"
"Umm well… I'm guessing somewhere between level three and the ground floor."
"Wha… Tony? What the hell are you talkin about?"
Tony winced.
"Well… we're in the elevator Boss, we're tra…"
"The eleva… why the hell are you in the elevator, you know there's rules about using the stairs only, in emergencies for a reason DiNozzo, who's with you?"
"Ziva's here Boss."
"I thought she would have had more sense."
Tony frowned.
"We just didn't think Boss, it was…"
"No you didn't, what about McGee?"
Tony frowned.
"No I thought… we thought he was out, it's just us."
Tony could hear the concern in his boss' voice and he had to admit he was also worried but at the moment his real concern lay with the fragile state of his partner.
"Ok, are you hurt?"
Tony looked to his partner again as she dropped her head back and sighed, her shaky hands running over her face.
"Ziva has a cut on her forehead but nothing life threatening I don't think, but Boss… we need to get outta here, it…it brings back memories."
Silence reined for a moment and Tony knew his boss got the message loud and clear.
"Sit tight DiNozzo, just sit tight."
After half an hour of 'sitting tight', Ziva made a move to stand.
"Wha… whatta you doing, stay down."
He reached out for her, but she shook him off.
"I… I cannot I need to get… we need to get out of here Tony, I… I cannot just sit here like a bird in a cage."
"Well technically birds don't actually sit in their ca…"
The look on her face told him this was not the time to correct her or make jokes; despite the fact it was his way of coping.
"Tony we need to find a way out, I cannot just do nothing."
She crawled toward the metal doors, moving the plasterboard that was once part of the roof out of the way.
"I need to do something, need to find a way out, have to… ahh."
She jolted back moving her hand up and revealing the now bloodied palm.
"No we need to just wait!"
He moved to pull her back, but she fought against him.
"NO!"
He stopped at her shrill tone and saw exactly how frightened she was.
"Ziva…"
His voice was soft and calm; he hoped to calm her also.
"We need to just sit, we don't have much light and the lift might not be stable, we can't just blunder about..."
She turned back to him with an almost scowl.
"So what Tony? What do you suggest we do? Nothing?"
The light on his phone died out again and he heard her harsh intake of breath, he pressed the send button and watched it re-ignite; now wishing he'd gotten the torch fixed after dropping the cell a few weeks back.
"Yeah Ziva, we just sit… and we wait."
The look on her face almost broke his heart, she was struggling, she knew it and he knew it. Ziva had a real problem with small enclosed spaces since Somalia, she wasn't so fond of the dark either and her reaction to being restrained now was far more violent than before spending months in a windowless cell, bound, gagged and blinded. Despite the pain, she had often welcomed the beatings and abuse because she was always moved to lightened cell. Somalia had broken her, it had shown her she wasn't as invincible as she once thought, she had been shaken to the core and had her very foundation changed.
Taking her hand he guided her back to his side and handed her his cell, knowing the constant requirement of needing to illuminate the room would give her some focus; at least until the battery died.
They sat quietly for a while the only sound was the rhythm of their own breaths and creaking of tense metal in the elevator shaft.
"Tony?"
He looked over at her; she was completely focused on the cell's screen.
"Hmm?"
She turned her head, her expression reminding him of a lost child.
"How long do you think we'll be in here?"
It was that million dollar question the one without an answer; well at least not an answer he could predict.
"I dunno Ziva, guess it depends how much damage was done outside."
She nodded weakly and went back to watching the screen.
"Tony?"
Her voice was soft and very un-Ziva like.
"Yeah."
"We will get out though? Won't we?"
He squeezed her hand tightly and nodded.
"Yeah… we'll get out; we just need to stay calm."
The cell buzzed and in surprise she dropped it, scooping it up she answered.
"Hello?"
"Ziva? It's Gibbs."
She nodded forgetting he couldn't see her.
"Ziva?"
"Ye… Yes, are you coming, are we going to get out of here soon?"
Gibbs heard his agent's fear and he silently cursed Dearing and his bomb.
"Emergency crews are working on it, is DiNozzo there?"
She handed the phone over without a second thought, merely lost in her own thoughts again.
"Boss?"
"How's she doing?"
Tony looked at his partner again and wished he could take away her troubles.
"It's ok Boss, but we really…"
"Yeah they're working on it."
Tony nodded.
"Tell them to hurry?"
Gibbs heard the plea and looked up to the sky, he and Abby had been lucky enough to be able to climb out the window after the explosion, he knew that freedom was priority for the ex-Mossad officer now trapped.
"Look after her DiNozzo."
"Will do Boss."
The line went dead again and he handed her the cell once more.
"Boss says they're on their way, hopefully it won't be too much longer."
She nodded but she was unfocused and possibly unhearing.
Time passed slowly, neither sure what to say and both focused on their own thoughts, although granted most of Tony's thoughts revolved around how to help Ziva when the light ultimately disappeared.
She didn't know how long she'd been unconscious for, minutes, hours, days, there were no windows now sounds from outside, no way to know what time of day or night it was. They would be back soon, back to tie her up again and put the sack over her head, back to beat her, yell at her and make her believe she would take her final breaths this time.
She gulped at the few mouthfuls of dirty water in the bowl and ate the stale bread quickly; sometimes it was hours between meals, sometimes days but it was always the same dirty water and stale bread. She forgotten what anything else tasted like and they knew what torture it was to see them come into her cell eating lashings of braised meats and fresh flat breads or sorghum in milk.
"Ziva?"
He watched as she rocked herself slightly side to side but didn't respond.
"Ziva?"
Her head whipped around to face her partner.
"Yes?"
He paused a moment seeing her eyes wide and telling, her silence spoke for her, told of where she had been, her day dreams were commonplace now, they were all used to it, but she still tried to hide it.
"Sorry I was thinking about… Dearing."
He nodded and pretended he believed her, one day they would talk.
"What about him?"
She leaned back against the wall and pressed the button as the light dimmed again.
"Do you think we'll catch him?"
The light dimmed again.
"Yeah."
She pressed the button again and he felt her hand tighten around his, he shifted close to her, knowing hell was possibly about to break lose.
"It's ok Ziva, its o…"
"No the light… Tony the light…"
It dimmed again and then it was gone and no amount of her pressing the buttons was going to make it return.
"It's ok just…"
"We need the light, how can we see wit…"
His arm moved around her shoulders and pulled her closer still, her torso moving in against his own, he could feel her heart beat pounding against his chest and his hatred for Saleem rose, his hatred Malachi, his hatred for her father it all surfaced once more.
"Just breathe Ziva, breathe it'll be ok, our…"
She pulled away, struggling, panicking, she was up, on her feet and stumbling, he reached for her blindly and missed. The elevator creaked loudly and shuddered; he swallowed and swiped the air for her again.
"We need to get out, we need to escape!"
"Ziva!"
He missed her and edged out a little.
"Tony I… I cannot breathe, it is too dark, I need…"
He made contact with her arm and pulled her roughly back down, she landed with a thud against his chest, her side to his torso, her body between his spread knees, cradled; warm, safe and secure.
"Shhh, just breathe, shhh."
Her hands fought him for only a minute, he didn't release, held her tighter, swaddled her in his own presence and flooded with relief as she calmed.
"That's it, shhh, I gotcha, I'm right here, it's ok."
The sound of his steady heart beat against her ear dulled the rushing of blood in her mind, his warmth soothed the cold fear that accompanied her each time she went back to that cell and the comfort his arms brought her was unlike anything she'd felt since the day he helped her walk out of her prison.
"Tony I… I…"
His fingers stroked her hair, his palm to her cheek anchoring her and helping her keep her connection with reality.
"Shhh, it's gonna be ok."
She flinched and turned further into his torso.
"Tony?"
"Yeah?"
"I didn't know I was number one on your speed dial?"
He chuckled and pressed his cheek to her crown.
"Most important person goes first Ziva."
She sighed, for some reason his words offered her great comfort and allowed her a little clarity in her addled mind.
Ziva woke to slow steady heartbeat of her partner beneath her ear, his arms wrapped around her body and his gentle fingers tangled in her hair. She smiled as she felt soft kiss upon her head and she guessed it wasn't the first he'd dropped.
"I'm right here Zee, I'm not leaving, it's ok… I'm right here Baby, I'm not leaving."
She listened to his mantra over and over and felt his words deep inside, she lay quietly, not wanting his voice stop; as he lay another kiss on her she realized it was another thing she wanted to continue and while he was with her, speaking to her, she could handle the darkness the memories and nightmares were kept at bay and she was safe.
"It's ok, I'm right here, I'm not leaving."
His fingers caressed her scalp, relaxing her and making her sleepy again.
"Tony?"
He stilled and spoke to answer her whisper.
"Right here Ziva."
He felt her nod against his chest, it was different to the tossing and turning she'd been doing in the last hour or so, he'd tried to soothe her, allowing her to sleep through the never ending darkness of their prison.
She fisted his shirt at his waist a little further and he felt it tighten, knowing she was holding onto him and reassuring herself she wasn't alone.
"I hate the darkness."
He tilted his head and widened his eyes, her whispered confession catching him by surprise, he held her a little tighter.
"I know."
She listened to his heartbeat again, taking the strength it offered her.
"I never used to be afraid… but after… after Saleem."
He dropped another kiss to her crown.
"It's ok."
She took a breath realizing how much easier it was to breathe encircled in his arms, she wondered if his embrace would have the same effect when she woke screaming in the middle of night, soaked in her own sweat and tears and unable to stop the trembling until the sun rose again.
"Director Vance said I was damaged goods."
Tony growled and had sudden urge and desire to beat their director into a bloody pulp.
"You're not damaged Zee…
She shook her head.
"No I think I am, I…"
"You're not damaged, you've just changed… there's a difference, but you're still you, still my kick ass ninja, still the crazy chick who sits at her desk screaming at her computer in… God knows what language, you're still that intimidating assassin that insists on sitting behind me at my desk filing your nails with your giant knife… we really need to talk about that… but you're still you and you're not damaged, I promise."
He felt her shake her head slightly and waited for her next utterance.
"I… I cannot sleep, not without the pills."
Tony frowned and wished he could see her face though he doubted she'd be confessing if she thought he could see her, despite her fear of it the darkness was offering her a safety net to vent and he was so glad he was right beside her for it.
"I didn't know you were still taking sleeping pills?"
"No… I am not."
It hit him suddenly, he understood now why she always looked so tired, why she never wanted to go out after work, she always had an excuse.
"Ziva I… I don't know exactly what happened to you in Somalia, but I can guess and I'm pretty sure problems sleeping would be a normal reaction to any kind of torture."
"Yes, but I have been tortured before."
His fingers stilled in her hair and took a moment.
"Yeah, but this time was different."
She had to admit this time was different, torture in itself is brutal, but this time; Saleem and his men didn't just physically assault her they mentally and emotionally abused her, sexually humiliated her and they took pleasure in degrading her every day, she had all but given up, she was ready to die and was simply waiting for her body to give up.
He felt her pull herself closer to his body and he felt her shiver.
"Cold?"
She shook her head and he had his answer, wrapping his arms tighter around her and bringing his knees up toward his chest to encircle her and increase contact.
"Better?"
She nodded and he smiled, still somewhat surprised she was allowing him in like this; he dreaded what would happen when those elevator doors opened. He feared she'd be out and things would be awkward between them or she'd shut him out completely.
"I… thought of you every day. When… whenever they came in to me and… and did those things… I thought of you, you saved me every day Tony… They… they took everything I had, but… they could not take you, you were so strong in my mind… I saw you, your smile, your eyes, I heard your stupid jokes, felt your shoulder bump into mine."
Tony smiled as he listened to her continue, her admissions filling his heart and soul, giving him hope for the future, a future he imagined with her, when she was ready.
And that's it, I thought about continuing it but…