PILLOW TALK - Mary/Tom - Drabble
AU: Where both Sybil and Matthew have died.
Heavy breathing hung in the air as they came down from their rapture. Mary and Tom are laying side by side staring at the ceiling both lost in thought. Clutching the covers up to her chest she turns her head on the pillow to look at him.
"I can't ever love you as much as I love him" she blurted out, with a coolness in her voice she had long perfected.
He turned and looked a her, giving her a sad smile he said "I know... and I can't ever love you as much as I love your sister".
Nodding her head, glad he understood where they were at she went back to staring at the ceiling once again.
"I like not having to pretend though" he said softly.
"What?"
"Not having to pretend that I'll ever love you the way I love Sybil... or that I don't wish she was her with me instead of you"
"Oh, that's what every woman want's to hear" she deadpans turning her head to glare at him.
He gives her a knowing smirk and replies "I know you feel the say way about Matthew, don't pretend otherwise".
"I wake up everyday wishing Matthew was were you are now" she says softly admitting for once that he was correct. A collective silence followed, both enjoying being able to openly love another.
"I won't ever marry you" she says forcefully, suddenly wanting to make it her intentions clear.
"Who says I'd ever ask?" he retorts.
"I don't ever want to remarry".
"Nor I" he agrees, there will only be one Mrs. Branson for him in this life.
"Even if we have a baby... I just don't want to be a Branson" she tries to explain, but not really needing to. He's the only man she knows that understands her pain completely and part of her loves him for it.
"No, you're a Crawley you always will be".
"Good".
After several moments more of silence she says "It's nice though, isn't it?".
"What?" he asks wondering if she was referring to their most recent escapade "I thought it was a little more than 'nice'" he retorts.
"No, I mean being able to remember them together... I wouldn't be able to do that with any other man" she says softly.
"Yes, it's nice to be with someone who loved Sybil as much as I did... you know I respected Matthew, always did and I had come to care for him as a brother too".
"I know and he felt the same way" she said looking over at him again. They stared into each other's eyes lost in the comfort they gave one other in their grief.