A/N: Hey, reader. This is just a nice, dumb parody to pass time with. I'm
currently working on a new Hermione/Draco fic.. which will be much better
than my first one.. because I know that it sucked major amounts of ass.. so
I'm writing a new one to redeem myself. I won't put it out until it's
completely finished though, so it could take awhile. Anyways.. this baby's
just a chapter long. If you want it to be longer, tell me so and I'll write
more. Ok, go read.
Disclaimer: You are a dumbass.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Our story begins with the fateful day that Draco woke up and decided that he had fallen desperately in love with Hermione, and would seduce her in the Prefect's bathroom later on in the day. It was the only suitable place. Great for wild, passionate sex with the woman he had loved for the past five minutes.
Over the summer Hermione had grown at least two cup sizes bigger and her curves were all in the right places, wherever those happen to be, so it was lucky for her that her personal style had suddenly gone from conservative to showy/trashy over the summer.
It was a well-guarded secret that she enjoyed rock music. Good thing, because otherwise fanfiction readers would still continue to think that she is a loser and that she isn't a badass, (which now she suddenly is) even if they personally do not like rock music. Because anything with drums and a guitar in it just screams "dark, moody, and defiant".
She also wears tight hip huggers (low rise) and tight tank tops that show enough cleavage for guys to "look her up and down appreciatively". Somehow, such a rapid change in her outward appearance does not faze her and she has failed to notice. The fact that her skin has gone from pale and freckly to tanned and smooth and her hair go from a ball of fuzz to sleek and shiny has not caught her attention yet either.
The only thing she does notice though, is the fact that Draco has suddenly become well-built because of Quidditch practice (Flying on a broomstick and catching a small golden ball sure takes a lot of effort! Especially with the arms, chest and stomach). Even though his robes cover every possible body part under the neck, she can still tell that his body is well toned.
She found this out on the train to Hogwarts. She left the compartment that she and her friends Ron and Harry were sitting in. In past years, she never left the compartment, but since she discovered rock music she was feeling a little bit moody and secretive and decided to find an empty one to sit in.
She sat down with her portable CD player and put in her recently bought Blink-182 CD that MTV told her to buy (since Blink-182 is the epitome of all that is punk rock) and turned the volume up all the way. She looked outside feeling depressed for no specific reason and watched the trees roll past her and the rain splash onto the windows.. which is strange considering it wasn't raining until she played her CD.
Draco, in the meantime, was trying his best to get rid of Pansy (who he never found annoying until today) so he escaped into (what he thought) was an empty compartment. When he regained his composure he thought he heard music coming from somewhere. He turned around to find Hermione Granger, Mudblood/sexy temptress extraordinaire, sitting down with her eyes closed and listening to a CD player. It was Blink-182, his most favorite band IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. He sat across from her and closed his eyes as well, listening to the wonderful beats of his favorite song on the album, "First Date".
In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think its lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Can you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat.
The words had so much meaning. Sitting in the compartment with Hermione was perfect. He could almost feel her breathing. He was so in love with Hermione Granger.
Hermione opened her eyes to see the heavenly sight of Draco Malfoy closing his eyes and moving his head to the music she was playing. She never knew that he knew who Blink-182 was. She decided that she loved Draco at that moment. She turned off the music and when Draco opened his silver/gray/blue eyes she was looking straight into them about an inch away from his face, and kissed him with so much tongue she couldn't stand it. But she stood it, and they made out on the train until they got to Hogwarts, which took about three hours.
They declared their love for each other that night to everyone in the hall because Dumbledore allows his students to make important announcements (such as who they are dating at the moment) at the welcoming feast. And they lived happily ever after.
The end.
A/N: Ahhh, perfection.
Disclaimer: You are a dumbass.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Our story begins with the fateful day that Draco woke up and decided that he had fallen desperately in love with Hermione, and would seduce her in the Prefect's bathroom later on in the day. It was the only suitable place. Great for wild, passionate sex with the woman he had loved for the past five minutes.
Over the summer Hermione had grown at least two cup sizes bigger and her curves were all in the right places, wherever those happen to be, so it was lucky for her that her personal style had suddenly gone from conservative to showy/trashy over the summer.
It was a well-guarded secret that she enjoyed rock music. Good thing, because otherwise fanfiction readers would still continue to think that she is a loser and that she isn't a badass, (which now she suddenly is) even if they personally do not like rock music. Because anything with drums and a guitar in it just screams "dark, moody, and defiant".
She also wears tight hip huggers (low rise) and tight tank tops that show enough cleavage for guys to "look her up and down appreciatively". Somehow, such a rapid change in her outward appearance does not faze her and she has failed to notice. The fact that her skin has gone from pale and freckly to tanned and smooth and her hair go from a ball of fuzz to sleek and shiny has not caught her attention yet either.
The only thing she does notice though, is the fact that Draco has suddenly become well-built because of Quidditch practice (Flying on a broomstick and catching a small golden ball sure takes a lot of effort! Especially with the arms, chest and stomach). Even though his robes cover every possible body part under the neck, she can still tell that his body is well toned.
She found this out on the train to Hogwarts. She left the compartment that she and her friends Ron and Harry were sitting in. In past years, she never left the compartment, but since she discovered rock music she was feeling a little bit moody and secretive and decided to find an empty one to sit in.
She sat down with her portable CD player and put in her recently bought Blink-182 CD that MTV told her to buy (since Blink-182 is the epitome of all that is punk rock) and turned the volume up all the way. She looked outside feeling depressed for no specific reason and watched the trees roll past her and the rain splash onto the windows.. which is strange considering it wasn't raining until she played her CD.
Draco, in the meantime, was trying his best to get rid of Pansy (who he never found annoying until today) so he escaped into (what he thought) was an empty compartment. When he regained his composure he thought he heard music coming from somewhere. He turned around to find Hermione Granger, Mudblood/sexy temptress extraordinaire, sitting down with her eyes closed and listening to a CD player. It was Blink-182, his most favorite band IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. He sat across from her and closed his eyes as well, listening to the wonderful beats of his favorite song on the album, "First Date".
In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think its lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Can you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat.
The words had so much meaning. Sitting in the compartment with Hermione was perfect. He could almost feel her breathing. He was so in love with Hermione Granger.
Hermione opened her eyes to see the heavenly sight of Draco Malfoy closing his eyes and moving his head to the music she was playing. She never knew that he knew who Blink-182 was. She decided that she loved Draco at that moment. She turned off the music and when Draco opened his silver/gray/blue eyes she was looking straight into them about an inch away from his face, and kissed him with so much tongue she couldn't stand it. But she stood it, and they made out on the train until they got to Hogwarts, which took about three hours.
They declared their love for each other that night to everyone in the hall because Dumbledore allows his students to make important announcements (such as who they are dating at the moment) at the welcoming feast. And they lived happily ever after.
The end.
A/N: Ahhh, perfection.